In a marriage, shouldn't the husband be head of the house and the wife be submissive?

Question

It seems to me that there is a natural law that says that the man is supposed to be head of the family and the wife is to obey him. I mean you can't have two people with equal authority because they can contradict eachother equally and you have a paradox that to obey the rule is to break the rule.

Answer 1

Hell no, not in my life pal. I'll not be submissive to any man. It doesn't mean he can't be the head of the household. Being head of the household has nothing to do with the other person being submissive.

Answer 2

okay, some of these ppl are way rude, but anyway, yes, the man is the head of the houshold, but with that authority comes responsiblity. if you want to rule the roost, you must take the bad consequences with the good. if you become financially successful, you can take credit, with the help of your wife and her support. likewise, if you end up thousands of dollars in debt, IT FALLS ON YOU!!!! Also, just for clarification, i want to mention that being head of the household and the wife being "submissive" doesn't mean that she should be your puppy dog. She has a voice, and you should ALWAYS, i repeat, ALWAYS consult her on any decisions made. In the end, you make the final decision, but all rewards and consequences are solely on you. And, submission doesn't mean she does everything you say when you say it or else, it means she respects you and your ability to be the head of the household. Likewise, you should respect her and her ability to be the supportive partner she is and the mother to your children (if you have any) and the keeper of the house (cuz I know you don't cook or clean, it's obvious from this one question). Basically, be a good husband and responsible and considerate person, and the head-of-household thing can actually work out. Sidenote:submission also does not mean you have the right to put your hands on her, so don't even think that this gives you liberty to beat, verbally abuse, or force yourself on your wife. That would be grounds for divorce, and not a single person, not even your own momma, would blame her!!!!!

Answer 3

If this belief is religion-based, only you will have the answer!
Outside of that, the relationship that you are describing sounds like S/M= Slave and Master roles. If you are wearing that uniform then its all good. But each person regardless of gender, has a brain and skills. Understanding this put you closer to the point of respecting the other persons input. Adherence to this perception of rigid role-playing not only compromises the female in this equation, but you as a man. Neither of you will realise the full potential as a couple(unit) or the potential as individual human beings. Bring the relationship above the belt.. to the heart soul and mind. See the beauty that can be there if you evolved to this level.
So my question to you is- If you lost both your legs and half your penis in an auto accident, will you still be a human male?
If you and this woman were constructive leaders and followers in different aspects of your relationship but moving together in the same direction would that mean that you had a lousy relationship?
Life and love is bigger and more than the genitalia that each human is endowed with. Good luck

Answer 4

Why should the wife be submissive, and that's the thing of the past. Now day's women are equal to men in every way. No house hold can be happy where one gets to rule over another. Things should be equal because its a marriage not a business deal or something where one needs to boss the other.

Answer 5

Life as well as marriage is a 2way street, there is giving and taking on both parties. One is not more in charge of the other though some people would like to think so. There are some marriages that are that way, where the woman obeys her man's every command, then there are those few that the woman bosses the man. I think though that the whole submission thing is a load of bull, I bow down to no man, and if he thinks that I will, ADIOS, I am gone. So if you are thinking that this is the way life is cookie cuttered out, you are sadly mistaken, snap out of it and come back to the REAL world. This is 2006 not 1796.

Answer 6

sandstorm... listen to Jennifer, ark and freakedout. They have figured out the formula to a successful relationship. No entiendo? I will explain using myself as an example. I am the 'head' of the household but I love to do the wash. I love to see how white I can make the whites. I make my living in the appliance industry and I am fascinated by the technology of making laundry clean. Does that make me a 'girlie man'? I don't think so I'm 46 years old and can still bench press 400#'s. Here is the best part... my wife won't let me!!! That's right she won't let me do the laundry because she says I ruin the clothes. OUCH! Instead... I have to handle the money and pay all the bill because she doesn't like to do that. So here is my point. Women have talents and men have talents and they overlap. A successful relationship between the two recognizes the strengths and weaknesses of each other and exploiting the strengths of one or the other for the mutual benefit of both. Remember the synergy thing.. 1 + 1 = 3? Two can live cheaper than one? So... when you loose your job or far worse a parent... your going to want a STRONG woman to be by your side. And when you son or daughter shows lack of respect for their mother, she is going to want a STRONG man to be by her side. Dude, the measue of a man is how well he provides for his family both materialistically and spirtually. As head of the household you need to recognize the strengths of each and every family member. You are not a good leader if you don't. My wife majored in me in HS. Thats all she had on her mind. Get married have childeren and live happily ever after. We talked one day after our third child. So... I said to my wife... when the kids grow up, what are you going to do sit around the house all day in your bathrobe and slippers eating Bon-Bon's (You know... Ted Bundy's comment to Peg from 'Married-With-Children') Well, she went back to school and got her undergraduate degree and graduated with honors. Then while working, went back to school at night and graduated with her masters with high honors and never stopped being a mom. Now, she works as a teacher. Dude... when it comes to raising kids... my wife is way so much smarter than me. Behind every great man stands a greater woman. The natural law... well in cave man days that meant you and I would go into the cave and kill the bear so our families could get out of the rain. Today it means providing a supportive, safe and secure environment for raising a family. Believe me... that is what a good woman is looking for... a man that will be there for her and her (our) children.

Oh! I have one more short story to tell you. I was watching this show the other day called 'Brain Sex' or something like that. Anway, they did this study on men and women. They would shine the face of someone on the ceiling. You had to determine whether they were happy or sad and signal your descision with a flashlight. The whole time your brain was in some kind of CAT scanner. It measured the brains activity. There were no right or wrong answers, they just wanted to measure brain activity. Well the color red indicated brain activity in the scan and all the men's brains were on fire En Fuego dude!!! We were using every single brain cell to tell wether the person was happy or sad. The women... a small spot in the middle of the brain was orangish-red. What's the point? Men can't really tell if a person is happy or sad. We really struggle, we suck at it. Women can tell right away without any difficulty. SO... natural law says women are genetically gifted in their ability to determine a persons emotions, their well-being. You can't beat nature. Here something else to think about... natural law says God gave man women to compliment him. Accept the compliment (gift) and thank God. Mutual respect.

Answer 7

I think it honestly depends on ones culture and upbringing. In the US - at least out of the many families I know or have come in contact with - a marriage is 50/50. My husband does not make rules for me to follow not only because he knows I won't "obey" him but also out of respect for I am his equal. He is my soulmate I am his therefore we treat each other that way. We set household rules such as everyone eats dinner at the table together as a family; but those are to help the family run smoother. We confere with each other prior to making big decisions as what affects him will affect the kids and I and vice versa.

Anyway, you asked as a general question not specifics: No. In a marriage the husband should be the wife's equal or counterpart if you will. One shouldn't make rules for the other to follow; expectations maybe (for instance I expect my husband not to cheat on me, I expect my husband to help support our family etc) but not rules (like you aren't allowed to talk on the phone or you have to always be home by 9:00 pm etc). Rules are for children learning to become responcible adults, to set guidelines (as with an occupational set of rules) etc. Marriages are meant to be shared, cherished, treasured, compromised, and worked out. Marriages are not dictatorships. Or at least this is how I was brought up to believe.

Answer 8

They should be equal partners. The trick is that before anyone makes any rash decisions, you talk about it. Man is to obey the wife and wife is to obey the husband. Go over your wedding vows. Love, honor and obey each other. Neither of you should be submissive to the other one. Talk and trust is the key to any relationship. good love and good luck.

Answer 9

In marriage, shouldn't a husband be faithful since his wife is? Shouldn't a husband let a woman have equal say over financial issues since she earns money for the household as well? Shouldn't a man treat a woman with respect since she respects him?

Shouldn't he learn not to demand she get a beer for him when she doesn't order him to cook dinner or massage her feet? Shouldn't he do half the housework and take care of the kids and not work ridiculous hours? Get my drift? What goes around comes around, buddy.

Answer 10

I disagree with the not being able to have two people with equal authority, if there's an equal playing field and mutual admiration and respect, two heads are always better than one. And even if there was to only be one "head" who says it has to be the man? Why should it be determined by gender? Shouldn't the personal characteristics and not the body parts of the two people involved be the determining factor?

Answer 11

Husband and Wife need to be complementary to each other, to make a good team.


Think of it this way, Husband and Wife form a team which has to obtain the best outcomes for the team, in terms of earnings, love, happiness, raising children and giving the best they can to their children.

In some circumstances the Husband will assume natural leadership and in other circumstances the wife would assume natural leadership and both need to support each other.

If just for the sake of opposing each other , if they start opposing each other then the team will be fighting amongst themselves instead of fighting the odds of the outside world.