What am I gonna do?

Question

I just found ou t that I was pregnant and i'm scared because my boyfriend already has a son and doesn't want anymore kids but this is my 3rd time getting pregnant by him what should I do. Should I keep it or get and abortion. I don't have any kid any I want one, one day but not by anyone who doesn't except my chid. What should I do?

Answer 1

If you're saying you have to pick between your boyfriend and your child, keep the child and lose the boyfriend: he's an a$$hole for not wanting his own kids.

And don't worry about finding a decent guy. When I met my wife, she was divorced (final about a year) from her ex-hubby, and she had 2 boys by him: a 2-yo and a 5-yo with ADHD taking the max adult dose of ritalin.

Ex was (still is) a cop (actually, a police supervisor instructor) had custody every other weekend; his idea of parenting is put TV dinners out for kids, let them watch TV or play Nintendo. And he buys occasional cheap gifts.

Every "real man" wants children, and (contrary to pop psychology) that's not a biological urge: a man's legacy is revealed in the nature of children he rears.

During the first 6 months of my marriage, astonished doctors cut in half the 5-yo's prescription for ritalin, and marveled that parenting could produce such a profound positive change.

The favorite moment of my life came months ago, when the 5-yo and I were returning from a trip to get groceries. He asked was I his dad, and I tried to explain the concept of a step-dad to him.

Because his mom was adamant about keeping their biological dad in their lives, I didn't want to undermine whatever she was hoping for - but I wanted him to know the truth.

As I spoke, the (very bright) child listened intently. When I was done, I asked if he understood. He replied, "I think so, but can I ask you one more question?"

I told him he could ask me anything he wanted, and he replied, "I think you're a great father, and I want you to be my dad. Will you be my dad?"

Thankfully, we were only moments from the driveway, and my eyes weren't too wet to prevent a safe end to our journey - but I can't describe how good that made me feel.

Nothing comes close to the euphoria of being loved on that level.

Answer 2

If this is your 3rd pregnancy maybe its telling you someting, You need to do what is right for you.

I fell pregnant at 16 and lost my baby, then again had my son when I was 17, his father was wonderful until I fell pregnant, I stayed with him until my son was 4 months old and realised our lives were better off without him as he resented my son. When my son was 8 monnths old I met a wonderful caring man who didn't want children but we started a relationship anyway he just kew he didn't want any of his own, 3 months later I fell pregnant and I didn't know how to ell him as I thought for sure he would leave, He told me to have an abortion, I said no if I couldn't do it with my son then its not even an option he didn't have to be in my child's life if he really didn't want to. It took awhile to come around but he stayed and now couldn't even imagion his life without his daughter, and ofcourse he has taken on my son like his own, but now we are married and pregnant with our last baby hopefull a boy of his own.

Point of my story, if this man isn't going to be apart of your babys life there is someone else man enough to be a father even though not the natural father it means nothing. Love of a father is more then the sperm that made them.

I think you know what is best for you but make sure you think really hard about what your going to do before you make any decision. This is something you have to live with for the rest of your life and its oviously ment to be if this is the 3rd time. You dont know how your partner will do even after saying he doesnt want another child and you need to make your decision not based on his decision. Things always turn out in the end one way or another.

Answer 3

I think you are pretty irresponsible if this is your third pregnancy by him, (I'm assuming you have already had 2 abortions??)
Why aren't you using protection if you don't want a baby? It is probabally a lot easier than dealing with what you are now!
If you want kids, why are you with someone who doesn't, or who you don't think you want kids with?
Maybe you are not responsible enough to raise a child right now. You probabally should have an abortion and get some birth control until you are mature enough to have a baby!

Answer 4

You dont deserve this kid if you had prior abortions...its the truth.
Maybe you should give him up for adoption the second hes born, instead of having his arms and legs ripped apart and skull crushed.
You sound like an idiot, not mature enought to have kids or have sex really.
You are dumb.
Keep your legs closed, you are bad image for what a women is.

Answer 5

If he doesn't want any more kids, and you do, then he's not the one for you. I'm not trying to be mean... but for Heaven's sake...use some birth control if you're going to keep having sex with this guy! You want to have a baby with someone who loves you and wants a baby with you. You deserve better than that!

Answer 6

If you want a child and he does not, then you need to move on and look for someone who wants that type of comitment with you. As for the baby now, well it is your baby, would you be able to have an abortion? Would your parents help you out or do you have good friends? Do what is best for you.............and your baby.

Answer 7

I am pro-choice, but using it as a form of birth control three times is wrong. Get on the pill, make him use condoms. If he doesn't want a child, he needs to get a vasectomy! You have the make the decision that is best for your child. Tell him he doesn't have to be a part of the baby's life, but if you want your child keep it!!!!!

Answer 8

that isnt something that anyone can answer for you...you have to weigh your options for your own situation, if you can not accept having a child with a father that wont be there that leaves you two options, adoption or abortion. speaking as someone that has had an abortion in the past, to me it was the best choice. but you really do have to make it for yourself.

Answer 9

THis is a tough and scary situation, I think you need to talk to him about it, make the decision since this is your 3rd pregnancy with him and I assume you had 2 abotions prior. It is time to make the decision if you are going to stay with him and have the baby, or leave him and have the baby.

I am sorry that this has happened to you.

Good Luck

Answer 10

No one can give u solid advice on what to do. That choice is left up to u and u alone. Remember u have to live with the consequences if u have anther abortion.