how do i get over my past? therapists dont work?

Question

i have had a bad past at age 8and 9 i was molested by my cusin and at age 11 i was raped

Answer 1

Get out there and get yourself a future, search for things that you like to do and that make you feel good about yourself. You will never really erase the past, but if you build a foundation for a future, you will find it easier to leave it where it belongs, in the past.

Answer 2

I think you will never get over it. I believe it is a matter of learning to live with it and make any kind of peace you can with it. I am sorry you had to go through that. Obviously your cousin is mentally ill to harm you like he did. Nobody asks for that to happen and hopefully you are not feeling guilt. You were not guilty as a child and you are not guilty now as an adult. As for your cousin, I do not know. Maybe you can forgive what he did because he is obviously ill in the head. That does not mean you have to like him or talk to him or tell him you forgive him. I mean forgive him for you. And forgive yourself for something out of your control that you had no part in. I would take it just one day at a time. Maybe talking to a support group or being there for other young women that went through your situation would help. Think about it and let the ideas come to you on how you want to proceed in a healthy way. There is a wonderful life waiting for you out here. Blessings and Strength to you.

Answer 3

You have had some very traumatic experiences in your life time ,,,,, And I'm sure you wish that this sort of thing had never happened ,,, but so do all that have seen such times ,,,,, But things happen the way they happen and it's not given to us to control fate ,,,,,, All that's given to us is what to do with the time left to us to either stagnate and or grow stronger from it ,,,,, Therapists won't help as I'm sure you already know from what you said ,,,, Counselors and Therapists are held in too high esteem and aren't really what they are cracked up to be because theirs isn't an exact science either ,,,,, And what do you get in the end ,,,,,,, Just a bill that will leave you half broke at the end of an hour of this so called counsel ling ,,,,, They say time heals all wounds but they are wrong ,,,,, Not all wounds ,,,,, There are some wounds that go too deep and hurt too much and for too long for them to ever heal ,,, Having this sort of thing happen to you is like losing a finger or a limb ,,,,,,, It's just something you have to learn to live with ,,,,, how ever difficult ,,,,,,,, and try to go on the best you can ,,,,, But what you do and how you go on and how far depends only on you ,,,,,,, Like I said earlier ,,,,, You can let this beat you and just sit around and stagnate or you can get determined that this thing will not beat you and try to move forward or on with your life ,,,,,,, Don't let this beat you ,,,,, if you do then the perpetrators of this crime have won ,,,, Don't give them that privilige ,,,,, Instead of going to a couselor ,,, try to become one ,,,,, I don't think any counselor you've seen has ever experienced what you went through so how can they sit there and understand what's happened ,,, unless they've been there and been you ,,,,, ??? THEY CAN'T,,,,,, Counselors such as I suggest you become have been there and seen it and would be better able to relate to those that are seeking help ,,,,, Maybe the best therapy for you is trying to help others in the same situation as you ,,,,, ,,,,,, You aren't the only one that has gone through this ,,,,,, You aren't the only one suffering from this sort of thing,,,,,You aren't the only one seeking help for this ,,,, but maybe if you tried to offer your services to those who have been victimized,,,,, then maybe be you could not only help them but yourself too ,,,,, Who knows ,,,,,, if you try it it might work ,,,, if you don't you aren't out anything but you'd never know ,,,,,, Maybe it's worth a shot ,,,,,, You've said yourself nothing else has worked ,,,,,, I think that maybe doing that would ,,,,, Yoda told you this ,,,,,

Answer 4

I totally understand how you feel- you can't never really get over your past. It will always be a part of you. The best thing to do is to know that whomever did this to you will not win- don't let them win. Still be who you are- a good person and try to make a different in someone's life- by volunteering, advocating, etc.

By doing that, you are embracing your past and learning from it and moving onto the future.

Answer 5

I am sorry to hear about your tragic experiences. I think that it may be possible that you have not found the right therapist. Sometimes you need to try out several, to find the one you can relate to best. There are groups for people recovering from sexual abuse. In these groups, you will discuss your fears and feelings, with others who are recovering from the same experience. Other than the link I provide below, there are other local groups in or near your community to help you cope and recover. Good luck - and keep your chin up.

Answer 6

im sorry cheyenne. time heals all wounds. my mother cost me $1750 in 1985, my brother $1500 in 1996 and my sis $800 in 1994 and $500 in 1999. i am so hurt from all this and now in 2006 they have all move out and on and i am stuck here all alone. i lost out on stock market surge, real estate surge. im lost my job in may im also a little mess. but im hopeful things will turn around. rape is serious crime and lasting damage to young ladies. but few actresses and singers have admitted this happening to them as well and see how well they are doing. well sort of. lol so please stay kool and continue to live your beautiful life enjoyong things u love to do and participate in everything from dancing to sipping hot cocco in starbucks watching everyone run from the rain. hahahaha ok ill admit i do that. only because we all have to laugh otherwise well just continue to cry and i ran out of kleenex. be well god bless and watch a cartoon

Answer 7

I am very sorry that this has happends to you, but Im sure you've heard that before. Moving past that and similar pain is never easy and Im sorry to say you will probably never forget. However you can move on and live life to the fullest trying always to maintain a positive mental attitude. Also if you feel you could handle facing them it might be a good idea to NON-violently confront your abusers and attackers. Please feel free to email me and I hope my advice helps...I now how hard it is to move past abuse, especially when its sexual.

Answer 8

Sometimes bad things happen to good people. They do not sound like good people. You should not let them have power over your future. A support group would be better than a therapist, because they have been through it.

Answer 9

Well, you are just going to have to get over it or be a crazy woman when you grow up. There is nothing you can do to change the past. You can change the future. If you choose not to be a victim anymore you will move on. It isn't going to happen again. Have you filed charges against your cousin?

Answer 10

wow scary.... just shows you how harsh life can be...

well the answer sounds easy but really hard....

dont. look. back.

just move on with your life, and if you catch your self thinking about it, just go do something that will keep your mind off it. and you will never be able to completely forget it, it is a part of who you are. it's harsh for you, but you have to live with it, sadly. but just remember life's too short to live in the past. we have to move on some time in our life.