I'm getting married in two months and i think i can be a good husband but about the part me being a father can anyone give some ideas how to be good father without ever getting mad at my children or without any punishements; i want to see them grow up to be responsible citizens. And when husband and wife are both doctors is it okay to go ahead to start a family or wait for some time to get used to a married life routine. I don't want my wife to be in any sort of problem or stressed out.
2006-10-08 16:27:23 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just remember (this is what I do) when I am concerned about everyone else's happiness and needs I am more happy. Hopefully your wife-to-be will do the same thing. Everything seems to flow more easily when my husband and I do this. He is a med student and we have a 3 month old. I say kids can come at any time. We were married for two years b4 we had our son. Once you see your little baby you will want to do anything for their happiness... I don't think you'll have a prob. Just love them and keep them humble.
2006-10-08 16:40:46 · answer #1 · answered by Emily H 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't start a family immediately. You do need to get used to a married life routine for a year or two.
You can't possibly be a good father "without ever getting mad at your children or without any punishments". Children are like any young animal: they need to learn what is right and wrong. If they are rewarded for something, then they learn it is right. If they are punished for something, then they learn it is wrong. Children who are never punished, grow up thinking they can do anything without suffering any consequences for their actions. As adults, they will go through some very painful experiences before they learn otherwise. So you need to be sure you teach them!
The reward can be as small as a gold star; the punishment can be as small as a light smack on the hand or losing some privilege.
2006-10-08 23:36:30 · answer #2 · answered by Kylie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a good father considering the people around me. I have a daughter who is doing her 10th. Since 6th std she has never cleared her papers completely but in the final she writes well and gets through. I have not hit her for the sake of studies. I love the discipline in children. First of all you have to call your children not by the orginal name but by the nick name. Never ever look into their eyes when you want them to do some work but look straight into their eyes when you feel they are telling lies. No child can stand the stare.It is always to get into family at the earliest. Since we are not Gods to predict that the children will always be having good health and when they grow you might be old and not able to tolerate their small mischiefs and lose your temper which comes freely when you get older because you know you cannot do anything
2006-10-09 01:08:49 · answer #3 · answered by lkslalit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it doesn't matter if your a Dr. or a garbage man Take it from me getting married and having kids is fine until you realize that you did not have that time together you really needed alone, the time when you can just pick up and go for a few hours or the weekend. My husband and i never had that and things are really rocky right now with no hope of getting better and its not the kids fault but there was just so much we did not get to do that we really needed to.
Hope this helps. Congrats and good luck,
2006-10-09 00:24:56 · answer #4 · answered by babyrose26_2001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, do not start a family right away. You need time to adjust to married life. And your child does not deserve to be put in day care for hours on end because your jobs as doctors are very demanding. Wait until one of you can go to part time, so your child will get all the love and attention it needs. As a father, that's what you need to know, give your child love, attention and tender punishment. They need to know right from wrong, so just steer them in the right direction.
2006-10-09 00:30:14 · answer #5 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) Take the lead. It's not politically-correct, but it's what everyone (biologically) expects and it's necessary. A ship with no captain founders. A ship with two captains (to quote a chinese proverb) climbs mountain.
2) How to be a good dad: Play with your kids. Don't be afraid to spank them (when young) as punishment... but never do it out of anger or when you are angry. Cool down and then administer discipline. When they are old enough to understand other forms of discipline, employ them. The best is probably pulling weeds. Give them a cardboard box, tell them to pull weeds until it's full. Gives them lots of time to think about what they did wrong.
3) Does your wife feel the same about you? That you should not be stressed out? You are the pillar of the family - but you shouldn't bear all the weight - especially the weight of whether or not she is stressed out. BTW, she will have lots of complaints for you. Don't try to solve her problems. In most cases, she doesn't care about the solutions - she just wants you to listen.
2006-10-08 23:53:56 · answer #6 · answered by A_Patriot 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just coming out here and telling us that you want to be a good husband and an examplary father indicates that you are a good individual. I don't think you will have any probs being a good dad or husband...just chill and be the way you are.
2006-10-09 00:35:59 · answer #7 · answered by ♥♥♥GODDESS♥♥♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The book " baby and childcare" by Banjamin spock will help you in enjoyable parenting without any stress. The magazine "Nirogdham" in hindi will also help you out. Yoga and meditation practising will help you in relaxed parenthood. Children need at least one hour in a day (father's company). Wife is person to give you moral support in your all persuits. Read a lot (both of you.). Practice music also regularly.Happy parenting and happy life!
2006-10-08 23:56:58 · answer #8 · answered by neela m 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Id wait a while and as far as discipling your children,it all depends on the child, when the child is old enough,give them chors to do,to teach them responsiblity,and when that time comes,don't let it be a brat so people hate to see you coming for a visit different punishments for different kids.To be a good husband is tough.A lot of women want someone they can trust,be honest,trustworthy,loving,compassionate and you both need to be able to lean on one another
2006-10-08 23:42:53 · answer #9 · answered by preast 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is 'fine art'. In fact, you shall have to strike a balance between what you think is 'good' and what your spouse or children perceieve is 'good' for them. It is unfortunate that we sometimes try to lead our wives & more particularly the children in our own ways without ever giving them any freedom or flexibility. Of course, we do that with a sense of our responsibility for them.
The best way to do so is to let them grow nwturally and help them in growing that way.
2006-10-09 01:34:12 · answer #10 · answered by sharma.kulbhushan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋