Why???????

Question

Why do adults think of me as a CHILD????? I am 13 years old and I am SICK of it! They think of me as a "child" and make me play with kids practically half my age...AND THEY THINK I LIKE IT! It is getting on my nerves! My parents won't talk around me because they think I am too "immature" to be hearing things that they talk about! It is stuff like who is doing what kind of drugs or what teenager is pregnant or who just posted #### on their myspace! It is getting on my freakin' nerves! I can't stand them! They treat me like I am six! Do you still classify 13 as that?

I never said I wanted to grow up! I am just sick and tired of my parents treating me like I am six! What do I do about it? I've tried to tell them that they treat me like I am a little kid...BUT THEY DON'T LISTEN! I just want to runaway...I don't want to be on Earth anymore....but I don't know why....please don't say I need help, though! What do I do?I feel trapped!

Look....I KNOW THEY HAVE PRIVATE THINGS TO TALK ABOUT! I know that...but half the things they talk about are not private! It is things that they don't want me to hear! I get sick of it. Sometimes I feel as if I just want to scream, but I can't because I am trapped in my own life.

Answer 1

I'm really sorry you're going through this. I know you've gotten some really stupid answers, and I hope this answer will at least be thoughtful, even if it's not what you want to hear.

Thirteen is still a "child." You're growing up, no doubt, but yes, as a mom I can tell you that 13 is still quite young.

However, I think your parents are missing a great opportunity to talk to you about things like drugs and the dangers of things like Myspace. Rather than treating you like you're too young to hear it, it's my opinion that they should be sitting you down and saying, "X down the street is pregnant at 15. Let's talk about what kind of problems that's going to create for her and if you have questions let us be here for you to ask."

Have a little compassion for your parents. You guys grow up so quickly on us that we turn around and you've gone from a baby that we're nursing to a kid off to their first day of school. I can only imagine what planning your child's first teenage birthday party must be like. It's so hard for us to keep up with how you're changing - it's quite frightening for us sometimes, too.

I would suggest that you write your mother a letter. Take very very good care to spell check it, use proper punctuation and keep heavy emotions out of it. Tell her that you love her and your dad, but you think it's time to talk about some concerns you have. Give her a few times that are good for you - maybe over dinner one night.

Then express calmly the concerns you have. Give some points up to them, like, "Mom, Dad, I know I'm still young. I'm not trying to prove to you that I'm a grownup, but there are some things that I think we need to talk about. I know "J" down the street is pregnant. It's uncomfortable for me that we refuse to talk about it. It's important. I know about drugs, but I don't know about them from you - I want *you* to talk to me about these things."

The more mature you show your parents to be during this time the more readily they'll treat you as such.

Being 13 means that much of the time your emotions are out of control. Hormones are absolutely crazy and you're somewhere between a child and a young woman. If you can keep everything 'in check' on a regular basis, admit when you're wrong, volunteer to do things without being asked to - all those things are signs of maturity. Your parents will be hard-pressed to view you as a child if they see these things.

I wish you the best.

Answer 2

The best thing about life is parents who actually give a damn about their kids you should be glad I think a child or teenager should be pure until they are old enough to get a job and actually make it on their own dont be upset for you are their baby and believe me now im a parent I can see where they are coming from try to understand you have plenty of time in your life to hear negativity be glad they are sheltering you from the bull now my mom didn't and i wished she did maybe I wouldnt have gotten pregnant at 16 if she gave a damn about what she subjected me to that caused me to grow up way too soon stay and act your age for it only last a hot minute then your out doing the job thing and that is not fun enjoy it while you can

Answer 3

When I was 14 I felt the same way. You need someone who is older who will listen to you as a rational person. Your frustration comes from not being listened to, but if you think about it are you acting rationaly? Could someone really talk to you without you turning your shoulder in a huff. You are obvioulsy intelegent, you wouldn't be feeling this way if you weren't. So prove it. Prove how very smart you are by listening to your parents, no matter how angery it makes you. Yes, you'll realize that they are behaving in ways that you don't agree with. Look at what upsets you the most about your parents and their behavior and first forgive them for being less than perfect. Now, admit that you have flaws too. Now find an adult to talk to about all this who will listen to you. Because your parents aren't listening, it must be someone else that you trust and it must be someone who is older and has lived through tough times. It may be easy to find a friend your own age, but you'll just be getting sympathy and not an objective viewpoint.

There are big life lessons in the rift between you and your parents. Don't make it worse. I was lucky, I survived my experiences and have forgiven my parents for not listening. They didn't know how to express themselves in a way for me to comprehend their concerns. At the time, I couldn't articulate the hell I was going through. It's not always easy for parents to make the transition from you being a child and you as rational human. You need to find a rational adult who has an open ear, sincere love and some well thought out advice that might include some suggestions that you may not want to hear. No, you are not six, but you probably have yet to try to sleep in a freezing van (as I recall it was below zero that whole week) while hungry having no hope of finding food in the morning. If you aren't a little more grateful for your warm bed, clean clothes and meals right now, I'll know you weren't listening either.

Answer 4

You are at a point where you are not a child, but you are not an adult...it's a very frustrating time.
Just as you want your parents to understand you, try to understand them a little. Maybe when they ask you to play with little ones it's because they are asking as a favor from you...
Or maybe when they talk to each other, it's private...they are a couple and have things they want to talk about in front of NO ONE else, not just you!
If you talk to them about some of the things that bother you, CALMLY and LOGICALLY they will listen. They won't listen if you yell, get hysterical and freak out.
Bottom line, they love you...they will do what they can to help you be happy, but your happiness is in your hands!!
Good luck!

Answer 5

Hun,first calm yourself down.Secondly,parents are often this way.I will tell you why,because they are afraid you are growing up too fast.They dont want you to rush being an adult.You are young,you may not be a child.That is what makes teenage years so rough.You are not a child,and you are not yet an adult.You have to embrace it,and see this situation from their point of view.Maybe they feel that certain things are inappropriate for you to hear,they are trying to protect you.Do not get mad at them over that.I understand that you do not want to "play" with children half your age,but maybe they see you as a little "immature"(sorry,lack of a better word).I understand that you want to be included and you feel grown up,but you arent.I know that is probably the last thing you wanted to hear,but you arent.You should enjoy each and every year of your childhood and teenage years,they do not come back once they are gone so please,embrace them while you can.If it really upsets you,maybe speak to your parents about it.Tell them how you feel,they are not going to know until you do.Now,by doing that i do not mean going and yelling and screaming at your parents.I mean,sit them down and talk like mature adults,if you act mature and prove to them you are mature and responsible i am sure they will start to give a little slack,you just have to prove to them you are mature.Good luck hun,and please enjoy your teen years and dont worry about everything.

Answer 6

you are a young adult. you need to explain to your parents that you are not a child anymore. they need to explain to you about the new world you are growing up in. they need to sit down and talk to you. I had the same problem. When I was 13. I can say you are kind of young to be dating, but now a days kids younger than you are dating and having sex. which is sad, but still let them know you do not plan to do anything like that until you are old enough to take care of your responsibilities. good luck

Answer 7

When your 13 whether you like it or not you are still a child. I know its very tough but if your tired of being treated like your 6 then talk to your parents. Say that you don't like the way things are right now and see if things can change a little bit.

Answer 8

OMG I totally feel you on this, even though I'm 10 years older than you. Although I have something that might help you out.

Calmly explain to your parents that you feel that you want to have a *little* bit more responsibility to show them that you are capable of handling adult-like situations, and calmly explain to them that you are not wanting to be treated like a child, but not like an adult either.

13 years old is inbetween child and adult...

Answer 9

You are a child. You are not an adult until you are 18. Sorry, but at 13 your are still a baby. It sounds like your parents are trying to protect you. You just have to deal with it. We all did! You are too young to date or do anything else for that matter.

Answer 10

The fact that you think running away would solve a problem only proves that you are NOT ready for more adult situations. What do you think it will accomplish not a thing. You want to be treated differently act better! Your answers back just prove that you are not mature enough.