I understand the meaning of giving the bride away but I am 37 and have been a single parent my whole life and it's always been me and my kiddo. He's now 19 almost 20 and on his own and I am getting married for the first time (small wedding 40 people at a B&B). My dad and I aren't all that close (he's my step dad who raised me well) we get along fine and see eachother once in awhile. He's never been all that into christmas, birthdays, or weddings but I feel like it isn't right not to have him walk me down the aisle. My family views him as a selfish man and my mother would be terribly upset if I chose anyone other than my son. Truth is I am 37 I don't NEED to be given away and I want my son to be part of the wedding in some way. Even though my family seems pretty angry at my dad I want him there and I think it would be nice to be traditional. I also don't want to ruin the wedding over it. And of course I want to include my son somewhere. Otherwise the wedding plans are fantastic!
2006-10-08 15:36:31 · 24 answers · asked by sara n 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes i think that would be fitting having ur son walk u down the Isle.. its a sign of his approval to your marriage to his to be step father..
Remember this, Its your wedding.. its your day.. u plan it anyway u want, u invite anyone u want, and if anyone has a problem with that, then they dont need to come, because your day is to be a happy one.. and if they cant be grown up enough to share in your happiness for one day, then they dont need to be there.. So u do what makes you happy...
P.S. Congrats! i hope you have a very long and happy marriage..
2006-10-08 15:43:06 · answer #1 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Sounds absolutely beautiful. But he is not really "giving you away" but rather walking you down the aisle. Perhaps you could ask the minister to skip the line, "Who presents this woman" because, well, you're an adult woman with a son, and nobody is GIVING you to your new husband. But having your son walk you down the aisle? Something that you, your son, and all of your guests will never forget, and I'm sure will make for a very touching moment, AND! will make your son feel as though he is an integral part in the wedding...
2016-03-18 06:40:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do your dad and son get along well??? if they do my suggestion is that each walk you . One on each arm. If you feel that strongly i think you should let both of them and you have to remember this is your wedding and not everyone else's and you should do what makes you happy. The other thing you might can do is let your son walk you part of the way and then your dad can walk up and walk you the rest of the way... There are ways to make this work for you. This is your day!!!! I really think it would be nice to have your son walk you down the isle but having your dad there is a must. If he is not confortable at weddings maybe you should ask him how he would feel about walking you so you can be sure what he wants..
2006-10-08 15:42:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My son gave me away my wedding day. My father is also living and we are not close either. When I opened the door to come out, my son handed me a rose and he looked so handsome that it was almost hard for me to concentrate on anything else for a few minutes. He looked so grown in his tux he was 17,he is now 20. When people look at my wedding pictures,even friends of my friends, not one of them has questioned why my son walked me down, and they are the most beautiful pictures, and I always feel so proud when I look at them! Congratulations, and remember, this is your day, you decide, no matter what!
2006-10-08 15:50:18 · answer #4 · answered by melanie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're right - you don't need to be given away. However, asking your son to escort you down the aisle is very sweet. I cannot imagine a Dad who would be offended by this choice. But, if you think he'll get hurt feelings then save a dance for your Dad and let him know about the choice you made and why.
2006-10-11 08:55:56 · answer #5 · answered by weddingqueen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mom met the man of her dreams and is so in love. When they merry my brother will be the one to give her away and none of us could be happier. Go for it your son is the one who "owns" your hart so to have him give you away is absolutely a good idea.
I also think your dad should be there and maybe even apart of it by making a speech at the reception. It's your wedding and if you want him to be apart than they will just have to like it or lump it. Congrats and Luck to you!
2006-10-08 16:03:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you do it !!!! it sounds great to me... *sigh*, i think it sounds just the perfect thing... letting him give you away.... my husband was best man at both my sons wedding and the brothers stood too..... family is family is family....... weddings are the greatest and most blessed start to just that....... FAMILY !!!! dont have anyone give you away if it will create a BIG problem... have your son escort you 1/2 way, a show of acceptance on his side, that he agrees and blesses this union... he could be waiting for you 1/2 way up the isle or about 4 foot from the groom, and just take your hand, kiss you and give your hand to groom... that simple.... IF you feel both, step father and son need to be involved, they could BOTH escort you, or change places 1/2 way or both just wait for you right before the groom and both just kinda hand your hand over to grooms... my brother married a woman who did this... her son and father BOTH walked her down the isle... it was very touching !!! so there, I have given you a few ideas... think about each one and then do what YOU want... it is YOUR DAY !!! God bless
2006-10-08 15:53:30 · answer #7 · answered by Annie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your question was a little confusing... if dealing with a father and step-father I suggest this, Your step-father raised you and deserves respect for his role in your life, Your birth father is obviously still a part of your life and also deserves to be treated with respect. The only way to show them both respect and not make either feel "slighted" is to ask your son (this should be acceptable to both fathers). It also allows you to include your son and to allow your son to show his acceptance of your new marriage.
Now the hard part.... how to include the fathers....
Allow them both to make a speech at the reception! :) Your birth father can talk about his memories of your birth and early years and your step dad can pick up with some memories of the times he had with you from the point he and your mother married. This should allow all to be included and not have any "favorites" or competitions.
Melanie is right.... your photos with your son will be proof enough why you chose him... no explainations needed.
If however you meant that your step-father IS the man you consider to be your father and everyone is for some reason mad at HIM.... I suggest having him AND your son walk you down the aisle, one for each arm. Whether the rest of your family is upset with him or not they should have enough respect for you to be civil to him. PERIOD! Dont let anyone talk you out of having whomever you wish walk you down the aisle. Its your day, and your choice.
2006-10-08 16:25:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one. If you can, I suggest the first thing should be to discuss it with your Dad.
My partner wasn't asked to walk his daughter down the aisle. He's been divorced from his first wife for 17 years and hasn't had the opportunity to see much of his daughter, but all the same he was absolutely devastated not to be asked.
Your Dad is in a slightly different situation, as he is not your natural father. So he may not care so much, but don't assume.
2006-10-08 15:48:38 · answer #9 · answered by Kylie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is YOUR day. Not you family's day. My son gave me away and he was 6. My dad was there and he was fine with it. My son still talks about it 7 years later. Do what is in your heart and screw everybody else. Good Luck.
2006-10-09 01:21:49 · answer #10 · answered by ashashbaby 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋