My bf and i are think about having sex..how bad will it hurt...?

Question

we have been talkin about it. but he says its different for guys then it is for girls. Does that mean it doesnt hurt them? How bad does it hurt for girls. Does it really help if u use tampons? And how bad will i bleed..please help me understand this.. :-/

Answer 1

Sorry but as much as I am sure you will ignore any advise you are given in this respect - you are not ready for sex by a long shot – the questions you are asking are basic things about your body, his body and sex that you need to know before even considering having sex.

Asking other people online will not give you the answer no matter how well-informed their response might be, these are things you need to learn and know for yourself. If you do not know these things not only will it be painful you are also putting yourself at risk from sex not just in terms of unwanted pregnancy and STD's but also emotionally and on the level of your well-being – not just yours but that of your partner, future partners, your partners future partners and so on.

Tampons have nothing to do with sex, they are inserted into the vagina to absorb menstrual flow, they are harmful to the vagina, where as sex does not have to include penetration into the vagina, nor should it be bad for vaginal health. It can hurt girls and women to have sex - a lot of people will say that sex the first time will hurt, but for the most part it is myth.

It is amazing the number of girls and women who will perpetuate this myth, but in all fairness it is no surprise as so many people are ignorant about sex and the female body, and there are still a lot of taboos surrounding female sexuality and the female body that probably started off the ideas on anything to do with the genitals hurting – menstruation, child-birth, sex, none of these things need to be painful but people constantly tell girls and women that they are supposed to be painful. People simply refuse to learn, or because they believe it will or should hurt they will think nothing of it if it does, some will even carry on having sex just to let their partners enjoy sex.

Girls and women have the ability to stop sex if it hurts, try again later, demand other forms of sex prior to penetration and have every right to enjoyable sex – pain is your bodies way of telling you that something is wrong, sex should be pleasurable.

Sex the first time can hurt normally due to a few common reasons;

-Hymen breaking – this can be painful, but it is just as likely to be pleasurable or have no feeling at all, some girls can bleed a lot where as some girls may not bleed at all. A lot of girls hymens are broken before penetrative sex so this is not an issue for them, but everyone is different.

-Not being emotionally ready – a lot of girls and women convince themselves they are ready for sex when really they are not, they either feel pressured by friends or their partners, if not ready they will not enjoy sex and it will make sex difficult. If a girl believes sex will be painful it will be painful because they will tense up making it hard for the vagina to stretch as it should.

-Not being physically ready – only 30% of women orgasm from penetrative penis to vaginal sex, women's bodies simply are not made to be stimulated by penetration alone so need sex before penetration (i.e. foreplay) in order to make sure the vagina is lubricated enough, elongated enough, flexible enough and to make sure the clitoris is stimulated enough - ideally a woman should orgasm prior to having penetrative sex.

To have sex you need to be educated, know that safe sex is not just about using a condom or knowing where to get emergency contraception. Wait till the right time and have sex with someone you love and trust, where there is mutual respect and you are both old enough legally, physically, sexually and mentally to have sex. If it is with someone who you can trust and who can turn you on and accepts that you need pleasure too then there is no reason for pain past medical or psychological problems – some girls and women however are simply not ready to accept this fact.

Have a look at some of these sites;

http://www.scarleteen.com - particularly this article; http://www.scarleteen.com/sexuality/owtowow.html
http://www.positive.org
http://www.teenwire.com
http://www.sxetc.org
http://www.brook.org.uk
http://www.youarepriceless.org
http://www.teenpregnancy.org
http://www.youngwomenshealth.org

Answer 2

DONT DO IT
BECAUSE FROM THE SOUND OF IT
IFHAVE THESE KIND OF QUESTIONS U ARE NOT READY TO HAVE SEX
THIS IS YOUR VIRGINITY NOT SOME BOOTY CHARITY CASE WHERE U WANNA DO IT TO SEE HOW IT FEELS
IT IS SO SPECIAL AND IF U ARE ABOUT TO DO IT ANYWAY
MAKE SURE U LOVE HIM OR HAVE SOME KIND OF COMMITMENT
I MEAN BOTH WILL BE GOOD BECAUSE THIS IS KIND OF PLAYING WITH YOUR LIFE
U CAN GET PREGNANT WHICH ALL IN IT SELF IS A WHOLE LOT OF WORK
BUT AN STD CAN KILL U
ITS NOT SO SAFE TO BE HAVING SEX RIGHT NOW
JUST WAIT IF U CAN
AS FAR AS THE PAIN IT MAY HURT ITS DIFFERENT FOR EVERYONE I MEAN IT MAY BE UNBARABLE TO U BUT FOR SOMEONE ELSE THEY MAY HAVE NOT FELT A THING U KNOW
SO LET THIS BE YOUR EXPERIENCE DONT EXSPECT IT TO BE LIKE EVERYONE ELSES
GO TO A CLINIC AND U TWO GET TESTED FIRST
DISCUSS THE RISK AND THE CHANCES U ARE TAKING
AS FAR A WHAT IF A BABY COMES UP
MAKE SURE HE HAS A JOB FIRST
ATLEAST 2000$ IN THE BANK BEFORE U LAY DOWN
AND IF THAT SOUNDS IMPOSSIBLE FOR U TWO
YA'LL ARE NOT READY TO HAVE SEX
THIS IS A LIFE LONG RISK NOT A ONE NIGHT
A BABY IF A LIFETIME DUTY ANDA STD CAN TAKE YOURS FROM U
SO I HOPE U THINK ABOUT IT A LITTLE MORE THAN WHETER IT'LL HURT OR NOT
WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GET TESTED
GET BIRTH CONTROL
TALK ABOUT ALL THE RISK AND CHANCES U ARE TAKING
AND USE A CONDOM EVERYTIME ALL THE TIME

GOOD LUCK AND THINK BEFORE UACT NOT AFTER!!
THIS IS YOUR LIFE DONT LAY IT DOWN FOR 3-5 HOURS OF SWEAT AND ORGASM
( HUG FOR ENCOURAGEMENT)
U CAN EMAIL ME AT [e-mail] IF U NEED MORE WORDS.
BYE

Answer 3

Hello there and HOPE I AM NOT TOOOOOOO LATE IN YOUR DECISION OF THE SEXUAL KIND. PLEASE DON'T GET TALKED INTO DOING WHAT YOU KNOW IS WRONG . WHEN ITS' OVER WITH THE BOYFRIEND IS THE ONE THAT BREAKS THE GIRLS HEART BY NOT CALLING ANYMORE AND NOT COMING AROUND TO SEE YOU ANYMORE . GUYS WANT A GOOD GIRLTHEY WANT ONETHAT THEY CAN AND OR DO TAKE HOME TO INTRODUCE TO MOMMA AND FAMILY AND SOME DAY MARRY THEY FIGURE IF YOU GONNA MESS AROUND WITH HIM NOW , THERE'S NO TELLING YOU WILL MESS AROUND WITH LATER OR EVEN WHO YOU ALREADY HAVE AND THE NAME CALLING AND THEY ARE BAD ONES THAT HES FRIENDS WILL CALL YOU AND THAT WON'T STOP EITHER ESPECIALLY IF YOU GO TO THE SAME SCHOOL. I HAVE SEEN TOO MANY GIRLS ON HERE AND READ YAHOO ANSWERS OF BEING DUMPED AND OR BEING CALLED NAMES AFTERWARDS AND TO BE HONEST WITH YOU THOSE FEW MINUTES OF SEX ISN'T WORTH THE NAMES THEY WILL BE CALLING YOUUUUUUUUUU NO, NO NOT AT ALL.PLEASE THINK BEFORE YOU ACT CAUSE ONCE YOU DONE THE DEED THERE'S NO GOING BACK. NO TURNING THE CLOCK BACK OR ANYTHING ELSE FOR THAT MATTER. I SAY WAIT PLEASE WAIT. IT WILL BE WORTH IT . DON'T WORRY ABOUT HOW BAD IT WILL HURT YOU OR HIM NOT NOW ANYWAYS. THAT SHOULD BE THE LEAST OF YOUR WORRIES NOW. THINK ABOUT SCHOOL AND GRADUATION AND THEN LATER ON A GOOD HUSBAND THAT YOU KNOW WILL BE AROUND AFTERWARDS TOO. OK. HOPE YOU WILL THINK ABOUT THIS LOTS AND LOTS.

Answer 4

it ought to be any form of issues, some serious, some much less serious. it ought to be a gas or bathing room subject concerns, such as you suggested. may be a situation along with his gallbladder. He would have an intestinal parasite or some kind of an infection. He would have appendicitis. it ought to be kidney issues. there is in basic terms no way which you will wager at some thing like this. If his discomfort is severe and would not pass away with everyday measures like going to the bathing room, taking aspirin, and so on., then he would desire to pass to the ER and get appeared at.

Answer 5

It will hurt for about the whole first time you do it...it hurts the guy as well as the gurl, b/c the guys "thing" gets squeezed into a tiny little hole.....Don't have sex until your married tho, b/c your virginity is sumthin so special that its not sumthing to play around with...If you guys plan on gettin married, or you have a commitment to stay together for the rest of your life, then its all you on that one....ALWAYZ WEAR A CONDOM..!!...b/c you can get pregnant..also make sure he doesnt have any STD'S...!!...Good Luck To You...Oh yea...Don't Get Caught..!!

Answer 6

I don't think you're ready for sex yet. You guys need to wait longer. When you get older, the longer you wait, the happier you'll be. There's no rush to need to have sex. Sex is different for girls than guys. Sex does hurt girls (it does not hurt guys), and girls do bleed a little. Take your time and wait longer. But when you do have sex make sure he wears a condom (even if you're both virgins), you need to be safe, and it's not time to have a baby.

Answer 7

As Far as i know it doesnt hurt guys, as for you it might for a bit but if you continue you might get used to it and you'll be okay, its just a piece of skin inside you that gets torn and you bleed a lil bit but not a lot, I guess the use of tampons might for the feeling of it but i would'nt put my monety on it.. Anyways use protection n' im sure you'll be okay,,

Answer 8

no it doesn't hurt for guys, and it's different for every woman on how much you bleed! if you want to have sex for the first time, I'd suggest loosing yourself up so it doesn't hurt as bad.

Answer 9

If you are going to have sex make sure you take into consideration all the things that could go wrong, you could get pregnant, your boyfriend may have already had sex with someone else and may have lied to you and has a disease. Wait until you are sure!

Answer 10

Every girl is an individual, what they feel the first time they have intercourse is just as different. If you don't understand sex then you are far too immature to have sex.