I left my husband of 5 years, there is a 32 year difference between us. I left and moved in with my grandfather. I left him because he raped me twice and when I went to talk to him about it he told me that it was my fault among other things. I could not take it anymore. My uncle had his kids with him and we all spent alot of time together over the summer. He learned what was going on an became an emotional shoulder for me. He is out of work until his back surgery so now he stays at my house during the day to watch my children and sometimes sleeps on my couch because I have to get up for work early. My husband filed for divorce first and is putting down that I have committed adultry with my uncle. He says it will go in court because there is no actual blood kin there. He is trying to take my son away from me and me have only supervised visits. I have not had sex with any one. What are the chances that he will win. Also should I try to get everything i can since he is doing this?
2006-10-08 14:38:34 · 13 answers · asked by fearliving2006 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Men use children to hurt women during divorce. You need to do everything you can to protect yourself and your child. To start write down everything you can remember about your husband and your marriage. It will help you keep your thoughts clear. Get a good lawyer and try to always be the rational advocate for your child. Don't be bullied by your husbands threats. He knows how to hurt you and he is doing it. Tell your lawyer everything.
2006-10-09 01:07:56 · answer #1 · answered by working mother 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, You need to get a lawyer and explain everything to them! They will be able to tell you all the laws for your state! Secondly, I really don't think you have anything to worry about! If he can't prove it some how it's very unlikely that he can get the child! It's a reason for a divorce not for taking custody from another parent! Stay calm and talk to a lawyer as soon as possible. Most lawyer have free consultation and free advice. You should definitely check into it ... especially if YOU want custody of your child! Good luck!
2006-10-08 14:44:05 · answer #2 · answered by cutie447_99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He cant take your child from you because of adultery. He can only take the child away if you abuse the child, or have sex with someone in front of the child.
Get a good lawyer. Dont discuss anything with your husband. Only discuss your child with him. If he brings up anything else...tell him to talk to your lawyer.
Your lawyer will try to get as much as he can from your husband. You wont get it all. But he will use things as a bargain chip. Write down everything that you and him owned, house, cars, boats and even furniture. Make sure you have how much he makes. Write down how many times he calls and wants to talk to your child. Write down all arguments. Write down all visitations. In other words, write down everything. Even if you dont think its important.
Good luck.
2006-10-08 15:17:53 · answer #3 · answered by Kathy S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you go too far in trying to get everything from him, it will just come off as a selfish motive. What you really need to do is think of your child and what's the best for him. If you genuinely care for your son, that's all you'd be concerned about. Not materialistic and monetary items. In most cases a genuine concern for your son will show to a judge and a favor will be ruled your way. Good luck.
2006-10-08 14:41:46 · answer #4 · answered by Mish B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to make sure you have a very good lawyer. Committing adultry is not considered bad parenting so he should not be able to use that against you whether it happened or not. Don't listen to what he says will happen, just tell your lawyer everything he says and listen to what your lawyer predicts.
2006-10-08 14:48:21 · answer #5 · answered by Gypsy Girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you didn't do anything, then you really shouldn't be worried. But you are definitely going to have to hire a lawyer. It will be one word against the other. You have your uncle who can speak on your behalf for himself. Your best bet is to hire a good lawyer, because he'll probably try to prove that you are a bad mother.
2006-10-08 15:16:57 · answer #6 · answered by Rica 82 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he puts it down he is the one that has to prove it and that is going to be hard to do. No matter what the relation is between you and your uncle will not matter. He has to prove you an unfit mother so watch your p's and q's and yes get all that you can. Just try not to put your son in the middle.
2006-10-08 14:42:58 · answer #7 · answered by Karen S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will be impossible for him to prove, and if it does go to court who keeps the kids will be more likely to hinge on who can better provide for them. As long as he doesn't have anything else to go on, you should be okay.
If there's anything you can do to prove he would be unfit, do so. And especially since he sounds like such a great guy, I would say yes go ahead and try to bleed him for as much as you can....and I rarely give out that advice.
Good luck and I'm sorry.
2006-10-08 14:42:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In custody hearings I've never heard of a judge basing their decision on which spouse allegedly commited adultery if the judge gives him custody based on adultery this will be a first your stbex is just blowing smoke out of his a ss.
2006-10-08 15:21:15 · answer #9 · answered by CaliMa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need a good lawyer. With that lawyer, you should go for it... take everything you are entitled to and if you can get more, go for it!
2006-10-08 14:41:36 · answer #10 · answered by fullofsugaw 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋