If you have been really happy and fulfulled for over 10 years, marriage or otherwise, please explain to me how is your partner supposed to feel when you lust for other women. It is something that we should toughen up to and just accept, or is there such as thing as true love?
2006-10-08 14:05:37 · 10 answers · asked by Serendipity 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am actually in great shape and take great care of myself. I put on make up, but look fine without it. I have a wonderfully rock hard body. But the men I go out with lust for other women and I want to know it thta is a an acceptable thing. I don't want to hear that I am not looking good enuf and taking care of myself, cuz I am or that I should not take it personally. Is is something that men in a happy relationhsip do?
2006-10-08 14:19:50 · update #1
It is okay to be attracted to other women. It is not okay to do anything about it. And, yes, there is such a thing as true love.
2006-10-08 17:03:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not know about if you should just toughen up! But, can you sit there and tell everyone out here that you have never lusted after someone else while you where in a fulfilling relationship? That is Sin and we all have sin but, there is a difference in lusting and cheating or acting on the lust.
My Wife and I have been married for 22 yrs and have 4 children together and when a pretty lady walks by yes I look. Just like she does when a handsome guy walks by. Now does that mean that we get all worked up about it no because, we both know at the end of the day we will be in each other arms and not someone else.
So if that is the kind of lust you are talking about then I would say yes you do need to toughen up or grow up. Because it is nature that all of us look and when we look it can become lust.
One thing to remember when you do get married always date each other just like you did before you got married and talk about thing more in depth. marriage is not a 50, 50 thing you have to put a 110% and the other has to put 110% if you think its not so try going to work with only 50% and see how long you last.
2006-10-08 21:33:01 · answer #2 · answered by wagg62003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to point this out but your question sounds really prickly. You seem to be accusing happily married men of ten years of lusting after other women. Not all men lust after other women. Some are actually very happy with the one they have and although their hormones might rage when they see a woman they find beautiful, not all of them go home and pack their bags and run off. We are all human and even we women can have a temperature spike when a good looking man enters the room.
It sounds like you are just hurt that you have not found a stable relationship yet. If you stay prickly though it might be hard to find one, particularly if you are going to act insecure and believe that all men are out to get you.
Relax. Do some things that will make you feel good about yourself and give you another focus, then you will be a pleasure to be around and you won't worry so much about men running off and leaving you for another woman.
There are plenty of great guys around..I hope you do find one for yourself.
2006-10-08 21:34:31 · answer #3 · answered by anything_my_child 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
H'm. Difficult to answer. I've been in good relationships, but still have found other women very attractive; and I've known that my girlfriends have felt the same about other men. But, when I have, I never obsessed about it and would try not to comment about it. If asked what I thought, I would be honest that I thought she was attractive, but I would leave it at that and wouldn't elaborate. It is silly to think that a woman's partner will only the woman attractive. Vice versa, too.
That said, if the person were to endlessly lust after another man/woman, it would be annoying and insulting. Moreover, appearances are only that; they do not speak to the character of the person.
As for true love, what do you mean by that? That your man will only find you physically attractive and nobody else? If so, it is a pipe dream.
2006-10-08 21:21:34 · answer #4 · answered by Gin Martini 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been married for 25 years. Your question is confusing. Are you a woman, lusting after another woman? A man? In any case, the issue is lust, out of wedlock, yes? The sex of the person for whom you lust is not important.
I agreed and promised when I was married that I would remain faithful until death. I took that oath seriously, and because I married a person with whom I was a friend as well as a lover, when the lust left our marriage, as it always does, we were left with our deep friendship, with the occasional lustful event to just make it all that much better. In truth sex becomes a secondary, or even less, issue in a long lasting marriage. It becomes a matter of loyalty, camaraderie, and understanding. I lust as any man does, I see a fabulous beauty, enjoy imagining all the nasty stuff I could do with her, have a great time in my head, but my bond with my wife trumps all else. I do not want to be lost and alone, trying to find another match as good as what I have. That is life, if you are determined to honor your vows and honor the history you have with your spouse. My advice? Honor your marriage.
2006-10-08 21:22:18 · answer #5 · answered by David S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
David S hit it on the head but I would like to add one thing...if the guys you are dating can't sit at a table in a restaurant and carry on a conversation with you without his eyes wandering to other women....he's a jerk
2006-10-08 21:27:45 · answer #6 · answered by johnnydean86 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think we should stop making excuse for men! They are selfish, and out of control. If he loves you, married you. YOU should be enough. If youre not he needs to step up and be honest, and let you go to be with someone who deserves you. You dont have to put up with this. I dont know if you are religious, but in the Bible. If hes committed adultery in his mind. Hes done it his heart. He might as well have done it with his body. Its the same thing. You deserve better!
2006-10-08 21:12:16 · answer #7 · answered by Tian 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
ARe you fat?
Did you chop off your beautiful hair?
Do you wear sweats all day?
Do you ever put on makeup?
Do you keep your hands and feet in good shape?
If you answered yes to any of these, what do you expect him to do?
2006-10-08 21:11:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
she will be devastated...obviously what you call a happy and fulfilled marriage went wrong somewhere down the line....
2006-10-08 21:11:33 · answer #9 · answered by ♥♥♥GODDESS♥♥♥ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if u take it in the butt an swallow he should never leave you,but if u don't that's why
2006-10-08 21:09:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋