My friend and i have been best friends since 7th grade and now we are in our mid 20's. Since we have been friends my friend told 4 years ago he was addicted to cocaine and needed help. So he would go to rehab and do good for about 6mos and relapse. This pattern has been going on for the past 4 years. He has been evicted from his apartment before. He has been thrown out several homes because he believes he does not need meetings. He has been homeless and i have gave him money to get back on his feet. I have paid drug dealers off so that they wouldn't harm him or his family. I have let him stay with me for awhile which didnt work because he wanted to do what he wanted do. He has called me in the middle of the night crying saying he relapsed again and needed to be taken to rehab. His family doesnt want to be bothered with him and he says i am all he has. He makes me feel so guilty when i dont want to help him. He is like a brother to me and i love him dearly but i cant take it anymore....
2006-10-08 13:52:32 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Today was the last straw he relapsed again and has gotten thrown out of the 4th recovery home. I told him how pissed i was at him and how i have nothing else to give him. He told me that if i really cared about him like a brother i would give him another chance since he is only human, but i cant bear to go threw this again. He told me he has no where else to go and does not want to be homeless in the westside of chicago. And to give him a 100.00 so he could get a sleeping room for a week. I told him that he needs to be responsible for himself and to be a man. He then told me he doesnt think we should be friends anymore and he hung up on me.
2006-10-08 13:56:04 · update #1
Talk to a drug counselor and perhaps get some of his friends together for an intervention and try to convince him. If he wont, then you should tell him that you dont want to live that kind of lifestyle or be around that kind of person, so until he gets help, stay away. If you convince him that you're serious, it might convince him to kick the habit.
2006-10-08 13:56:35 · answer #1 · answered by insideout72 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend isn't ready to truly deal with his addiction. There's not a whole lot you can do until he completely hits rock bottom and is ready to kick it for good. Cocaine and crack addicts have the hardest time kicking the habit which is why they return to it over and over and over again, no matter how many times they're in rehab and say they'll never touch it again. You just need to continue to love him and be there for him. You continue to be there for him emotionally, not financially. Another option is to get him into a methadone treatment clinic. They have them all over the place. It's also a longer-term treatment than a rehab center. You can find out more info by doing a search for "methadone treatment" or "methadone treatment centers." It's a treatment center for people addicted to narcotics. Methadone is supposed help them get off of it and stay off of it.
If he's pushing you away that's just another sign that he's not ready to "deal." Although he may acknowledge that he has a problem, most likely he doesn't really believe it. He has to believe it to get better. He likes it too much and he's no where near ready to deal with it. Sorry, sweetie, but that's the hard truth. Although I've never had an addiction, I also am dealing with someone who does. It isn't easy, but if you can make it through, you end up wiser and stronger. Good luck and stay strong.
2006-10-08 14:17:41 · answer #2 · answered by Joy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow...you are dealin w/ a lot on your hands. this is a tough one. im only 14 so i dont kno if i can help very much, but my friend has an aunt who is an addict. she's been to rehab, jail, and has tried to go home a couple of times, but ends up running away after stealing money. each time something happens, my friend comes to me to help her out. it's hard b/c most of the time i dont know what to say to let her know that i'm there for her, but somehow, we get thorugh it. most of the time, i pray. now i'm not that big of a religious person. but God has helped me out a lot, and i know that when no one else can help me, He can. He can get you through w/e, if you let Him. hope this helps! <3
2006-10-08 14:02:56 · answer #3 · answered by *mIzz*nIcOlA* 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that when he truly wants help, when he has determined that he will do whatever it takes to get clean and honor your friendship by not using you but doing as you suggest then you'll help him find a rehab program.
Tough love means being firm and demanding behavior changes.
It may take his believing in something bigger than himself. Help him find it. Wishing you the best.
2006-10-08 14:05:48 · answer #4 · answered by Doug H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him the truth. Ask him if he can perhaps help out a bit, try to ask him while he is happy. Be strong. Don't let him see cocaine or any other drug. Try to keep him happy and forget about it all.
2006-10-08 13:57:34 · answer #5 · answered by Spooky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to an Al-Anon meeting. Just try to stay strong and stick to your guns.
2006-10-08 14:05:58 · answer #6 · answered by joulesofaffection 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋