Do married men ever leave their wives for their girlfriends? Can he be in love with both? He says he is??

Question

He was not married when we met. We were just "buddies" before that. We had great chemistry. This was probably supposed to be a 1 nighter and now it's a 3yr thing.
He does not talk bad or complain about his wife. We just have a crazy attraction for each other. I said I'm staying out of this, and call me if/when it's final.

Answer 1

I was in an affair with a man for almost 6 years (we are the same age). There were always reasons why he couldn't leave. Some valid, many not. I gave up a marriage, financial security, everything for him, and he gave up nothing. I finally got the courage, self respect and a new found love of life to break it off. I started dating and having the time of my life. I realized that I let him rob me of 6 years - I let a liar, thief and cheat take so much from me, my children, and family. It doesn't matter how much he says he loves you, because if he did, he would not put his family and you through the tragedy of an affair.

Answer 2

The answer has been the same to this question for the last 50yrs. And WHY would you indulge a selfish man in the cheating on his wife,regardless of how he says she is? I don't want to judge you, I don't know you, however, do you actually think any good would ever come out of a negative situation like this? Men as asses because we allow them to be, we even help them along. You know he's not leaving her. And if by some slim chance he did, he would do the same to you. Never be anyone sloppy seconds! Your actions may suck but you're probably a good person who deserves better than you're getting.

Answer 3

Very infrequently. But even when they do, what will you have? Either a guilty, confused man who will be feeling very poorly about the fact that he left his wife for another woman. Or a man who cheated on her, and will most certainly cheat on you.

You got together with him when he was at a very low point in his life. What makes you think that your relationship can last into health?

There are very, very few instances when I'd spend time with a married man. Men who have marital trouble need to be told by single women to make an adult decision about how to handle it, and be sent back to do just that. Think also about what you're doing to his wife. Is this the sort of person you want to be? Chances are he's told you she's a bad wife... how do you know that's true?

I'm not saying it's absolutely never ethical to have a married man for a boyfriend, just almost absolutely never.

Answer 4

Hey sweetie, there was something about her that made him walk down that isle without taking you under consideration. That alone says a lot. To answer your question, yes, there have been men who left the wife for the girlfriend. Would you be able to trust him if was your man? No ,I don't think so. You know that he is capable of cheating because you were once helping him do it. This relationship is toxic. I am not judging you but y'all were doing this before he got married so he may see you as party girl and wife as good. You are better and you deserve a man who can take you out in public. Kind of hard for a married man to take you out to wine and dine you.

Answer 5

Yes, married men leave their wives and children for girlfriends all the time. And sometimes they actually go through with the divorce. But here's the rub: the girlfriend will now spend the next "X" number of months/years wondering who he's cheating on HER with. Typically, a man who will step out on his wife...will step out on any one.

And yes, I believe that a man can love both...the degrees of that love are different however.

Answer 6

Rarely- generally the reason they have a girlfriend, and lets be honest here, is because they are sick or the "hurry get it over with" sex. The reason we don't leave, is because the courts system awards women everything- even women who were losers before marriage become winners. So us guys, go home to our miserable wives who do nothing but complain- and try to make us miserable. What is with girls anyway?

Answer 7

Some do, most don't. While they may leave their wives or their wives leave them they don't often end up with the woman they cheated on their marriage with. The usually wind up dumping her because the figure she was the reason they're marriage broke up. Yes he can be "in love" with both of you but he probably doesn't actually love either one of you. If he did he wouldn't disrespect BOTH of you the way he is. He would be divorced and free to see anyone...so you're basically ALLOWING him to disrespect you...hope it feels good.

Answer 8

Men only leave their wives to spend time with their girlfriends. Then they go back home to their wives. I don't believe that he can be in love with both of you. He is in love with his wife and probably in lust or in love with he excitement of having another woman. I suggest that you move on. Don't waste anymore time with a man who can't be faithful to his wife. If he did to her, he will do it you. How do you now that there isn't another woman other than his wife....

Answer 9

yes this could happen. not very common but it happened in my family. everyone was devastated. my aunt dint even see it coming. he left her and 2 kids for some ugly indian skank. Funny enough Im kind of in this situation now. except he says he does NOT love his wife, and they dont live together. i wonder if hell choose me.

dont get your hopes up though. Im not. When you get married you dont want someone to ruin your marriage right? He can only cheat if the woman hes persuing allows it.

What if you wind up together and he does it to you?

Karma is a beyatch. Im praying it doesnt bite me in my ***. You should do the same.

Answer 10

Why would you want a married man in the first place?If he did leave his wife,how long do you think it will last before he replaces you?