here's mine:
Shooting yourself in the foot is actually a lot more fun than it sounds.
Shooting yourself in the foot is actually a lot less fun than nearly anything else.
Never turn your back on a charging turtle.
Projectile vomiting rarely gets you a return invitation anywhere.
Never get in a spitting contest with a llama.
I've noticed that everyone who is for abortion has already been born. (Ronald Reagan)
If you wear a silly hat, everyone knows who you are.
No one likes a smartass.
Especially another smartass.
Once is chance, twice is a coincidence, three times is an enemy action.
Never throw toilet paper on a bear.
Calling your mother and pretending to be an encyclopedia salesman doesn't go over too well.
He who laughs last should do so from a safe distance.
Never ever go first.
Never take yourself too seriously, and mock those who do.
2006-10-08 13:33:25 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
No one on Yahoo answers has witty sayings.
Here are some of my dad's:
-When you couldn't find something he sent you to get (like a hammer):
"Jesus Christ! I could have $hit a hammer by now."
-If he thought someone was stupid:
"He doesn't know if he is afoot or horseback." or "He couldn't pour the piss from a boot if the directions were on the heel."
-If he didn't like someone:
"I wouldn't piss down his throat if his guts were on fire."
-If one of us (his family) said we wished something were different:
"Wish in one end of a horn and $hit in the other. See which end fills up."
2006-10-08 13:35:02 · answer #1 · answered by imnogeniusbutt 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
How about a limerick,
There once was a girl from Norway
who hung from her heals in a doorway.
She said to her beau, hey come here Joe,
I think I found one more way..
2006-10-08 13:43:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
'The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.'
Ronald Reagan
40th president of US (1911 - 2004)
2006-10-08 13:41:03 · answer #3 · answered by Katie Short, Atheati Princess 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I tried to join the Non-Conformist Club, but I just couldn't seem to fit in.
2006-10-08 13:53:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
2006-10-08 13:43:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember the person you dis today maybe your boss tomorrow.
2006-10-08 13:38:00 · answer #6 · answered by KERMIT M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when the world says give up, god whispers try one more time, cuz when ur down to nothing god is up to something
i made that up.
2006-10-08 13:42:09 · answer #7 · answered by cojosLT23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is not challenged is not changed.
2006-10-08 13:36:48 · answer #8 · answered by Bikerbutt 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my dad always says, "you think you're hot snot, but you're just cold boogers."
: ) LOL
2006-10-08 13:36:04 · answer #9 · answered by bookwurmgurl 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I have some.
2006-10-08 13:38:53 · answer #10 · answered by Gladice 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋