I am deployed with the Army to the middle east right now. I have been gone almost a year and a half. I met this amazing woman 6 months before I left. I asked her to marry me a few days before I went over seas.
I am totally sure that she is the one.We have discused getting married in March (my idea) yet she has suggested that we get married right away. I am tempted to do it! I love her more than anything in this world, yet I still want to wait two or three months after I get back from Overseas.
Do I give in to temptation and get hitched in a court house a few days after I get back? Or stick to my guns and hold out till march to have a small ceremony in March with friends and familly?
Its that whole, why wait/ dont rush argument
thanks everybody
2006-10-08 13:20:18 · 18 answers · asked by aerisw 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Definately wait!!! I know you know that she's the one, but you need to be doubly, triply and quadrouply sure. This is for the rest of your lives. Things do 'escalate' sometimes, especially when you are somewhere like Iraq. The pressure you're under there is intense, and this can sometimes affect your emotions. Plus as she is 'the one', then you're only gonna get married once, you want all your family to be there. Wait until March and Good Luck.
2006-10-08 13:25:00 · answer #1 · answered by Bodieann 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think waiting a few months holds the best benefits in this case, but you have to think most about what you and your bride to be want.
Have you tried reminding her that if you get married straight off the plane there isn't a lot of time to plan together or for family and friends to join you on your day?
Also, maybe something to think about...why does she want to rush into it? Is there something she's not telling you?
Good luck and have fun whatever you two decide!
2006-10-08 20:24:12 · answer #2 · answered by Mrs. D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I admire you for your courage and for taking a stand for freedom.
I think you may want to take things slowly and go for the March date. I have heard from other soldiers that they went through an adjustment period when they returned from Iraq. It would not be good to get married too fast in case you also feel a little trouble fitting into society again.
You know that you love her, and that she loves you. You don't need a marriage license to prove that. Go ahead with the March date. Have a wonderful wedding with friends and family involved. You will be very happy later in life, and will be bragging for years to come about how wonderful the spring wedding was.
2006-10-08 20:27:46 · answer #3 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should probably wait. You've only been with her for 6 months before you deployed. Why not wait a few more months after you return from overseas. If she loves you she will wait. Doesn't she want a wedding with friends and family. Don't rush into a marriage a few days after you have returned from being away from her for a year. Make sure she is the one.
Best Wishes! Thanks for protecting our freedom!
2006-10-08 20:35:34 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My son-in-law bless his heart wanted to see my daughter walk down the aisle in a white wedding gown. Now, what Mother could resist that. My daughter wanted to elope, justice of peace, just get it over with, just like your girl. I am trying to think of the arguements he used with my little girl to have a proper wedding.
You want family and friends there to share your happy day. That you want to see her walking down the aisle(that's a heart stopper)
That you want to celebrate the fact she's willing to put up with you for the rest of her life. If she's nervous about being put on the spotlight, then assure it will be a very small intimate wedding. Just family and a few friends. That she doesn't have to have hundreds of quests, but that it's your wedding too, and you would love to share it with everyone.
Money could be an issue, because most of the time, the bride's family picks up the tab for the wedding and reception. She may be embarrassed that her family can't afford thrills and ribbons. So, why not mention "Honey, since the wedding is my idea, I am going to pay for it" "I can't afford a big formal wedding, but I have been looking on the web, and I think we could do a nice simple wedding with a couple of hundred dollars, so I will pick up the tab"
Figure out how much you can afford to spend...to be realistic if you could have $500 to a $1,000, that would be perfect. If you can afford more that's great, but remember you want to take her on some kind of a honeymoon. There's you another arguement for the putting it off...you need time to recoup..and you do want to take her somewhere for a couple of days, and you wouldn't be able to till March...That's a good one.
If you give into temptation, I am afraid you are going to regret it, you seem like a very sentamental your man, and your wishes are just as important as hers. Remember, I just paid out the butt for a wedding for my son-in-law. lol My daughter said she's glad she had the wedding after all, to be surround around her family and friends promising herself to her love. I hope you win! She's a very very lucky young woman to find such a loving husband, she better treasure you!
God bless us all.......
ps..thank you for keeping us safe!
2006-10-08 20:38:04 · answer #5 · answered by totallylost 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You met only 6 months before you left. You should definitely wait a little before getting married. Try living together first to see that you're still compatible. And find out why she wants to rush the nuptials.
2006-10-08 20:31:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wait. If she really loves you, she will accept it. If she starts making a fuss and saying silly thiings (like threatening to break it off), then she is more interested in getting married than in you!
You DO need to emphasise to her that you love her very much, and that you're not putting it off because you have any doubts - it's just that you want to show her off to your family and friends, looking radiant in a beautiful dress, rather than having a "quickie" ceremony in the courthouse. You want her to have a day to remember.
I think that'll convince her!
2006-10-08 20:54:19 · answer #7 · answered by Kylie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say wait awhile. Both of you will have changed when you get back. Things may not be the same. Or things may be better. Trust me I spent my year over there also. Good luck over there and Thank you.
2006-10-08 20:27:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think whether you wait or not is the issue. The issue is if you shouldn't wait a little bit so that both are over the homecoming before marriage.
2006-10-08 20:24:07 · answer #9 · answered by Russ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my daughter married a boy in the marines. he asked her right before he left for japan. they waited 6months after he came back and now they have been married for 5yrs and have 3 kids. they both say they were happy they waited.
2006-10-08 20:43:25 · answer #10 · answered by Nancy C 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋