Frank was grabbed roughly by the throat. "You," he hissed. "YOU HAVE RUINED MY LIFE!" frank was thrown into the walland gasped as the man kicked him in the side. "Whast the mattah? Givin up?" Frank just gasped angirly.
2006-10-08 12:49:56 · 7 answers · asked by dOnNa 1 in Education & Reference ➔ Words & Wordplay
"You!" he hissed. "You've ruined my life!" These are the words Frank heard as he was unceremoniously grabbed by the throat, thrown into the wall and kicked in the side. "What's the matta? Givin' up?" asked the voice. Frank gasped for breath angrily, before answering.
2006-10-08 12:54:51 · answer #1 · answered by Sels 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Hi Unless, what about: Frank was thrown in the walland,he was grabbed roughly by the throat.YOU,he hissed."YOU HAVE RUINED MY LIFE"! Gasping as the man kicked him in the side.Whats the matter? Givin up! Frank just gasped angirly.
Clowmy
2006-10-08 13:08:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest changing the voice from passive to active, giving the passage far greater impact. If you haven't identified the individual grabbing Frank by the throat, then you can't mention the name, so you'll have to call him something like "the stranger." Also, don't use all uppercase. Your use of an exclamation point is sufficient. And it's not clear who is saying what. Is all this dialog from Frank?
Try something like this:
The stranger grabbed Frank by the throat.
"You," Frank hissed. "You have ruined my life!"
Keeping his hold tight on his neck, the stranger threw Frank against the wall. Frank slid downward as the man kicked him in the side.
"What's the mattah? Givin' up?" growled Frank??
Frank just gasped, clutching his burning throat.
2006-10-08 13:28:24 · answer #3 · answered by Fall Down Laughing 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Frank was grabbed roughly by the throat. "You", the man hissed, "YOU HAVE RUINED MY LIFE"! Frank grunted as the man kicked him in his gut (ribs). He threw Frank into the wall asking, "Wassa matta? Ya givin' up"? Frank, gasping for breath, just glared angrily at the man...
2006-10-08 13:04:10 · answer #4 · answered by Deborah K 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would have thought frank would have grunted being kicked in the side.
2006-10-08 12:54:08 · answer #5 · answered by Constitution 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
The one Sels did is the best way to say it.
2006-10-08 13:01:09 · answer #6 · answered by zarbhebz_1012@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Good Luck!
2006-10-08 12:52:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋