Ok I have a boyfriend.And he gets mad at me when I talk to my ex's.he talks to his ex every night. He just got out of a 8 year relationship and then we started dating. we have been together for 6 months. He says they are just trying to still be friends. Which I can respect.I have to hear him say I love you on the phone to her everynight.if I don't lke it then there is I am overeacting. If I even bump into a guy something is wrong with me and then he threatens to beat the guys ***. And tells me that I wanted him to touch me. Well I just called the house because I am on my lunch break and he tells me that his ex is at the house right now. She just showed up and I started to get mad he says I am just jealous and it is like no but if you get mad at me for talking to my ex cuz I have to for work once a month something is wrong with meand then you are at home with your ex and I am over reacting. It goes alot deeper he is mently abusive.I want to leave then I have no job.No ride.No home.help
2006-10-08 11:14:08 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I have a job full time but he is my only ride to work you see. I am only 18 he is 24. I was living with my mom, but then she moved back to oklahoma we haven't been out here this long before I started dating him like a week. I didin't know anyone. the only people I know are his friends. I live 45 min away from my work I have no car. He drives me everyday. With out my mom I have no house I don't know anyone who would let me stay cuz they are all his friends. My family lives in oklahoma. I would move back but I can't seem to get the money to get out of the state. And if we break up there goes my ride and there goes my job.I am already poor. sometimes I go days without eating because I can't aford food and he feeds me. I just put myself into a situation to be dependent on someone and I have never been that way and now I don't know what to do
2006-10-08 11:37:59 · update #1
i don't care what you have to do you need to get out cause verbal is just the beginning trust me i know and when someone overreacts about things you do its because they are doing those things
2006-10-08 11:28:17 · answer #1 · answered by D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm pretty sure he is aware that if you leave you have no job, no car and no home so he's using all this to his advantage. He's thinking "yeah, I can do what I want because she can't leave me. Huh, she don't have no place else to go." This is very bad for you. You have every right to be upset and yes, it is time for you to leave him because obviously the door is not swinging both ways in this relationship. You mean to tell me there is absolutely no one you can stay with until you get back on your feet? No friends, no family, neighbors or other ex's? Nobody??? I would first try to find some living arrangements. If you have a job, can't you afford a place of your own? If not, still find some other living arrangements. If you lose your job, just look for another one. You can't allow yourself to be walked all over and be taken advantage of. He knows you can't leave, so prove to him that you CAN!!! Find somewhere else to stay, and then LEAVE HIM! A relationship like this will never work.
2006-10-08 18:27:23 · answer #2 · answered by melcar12345 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Well I think you both should stop talking to your ex's since it causes so much drama. Also, I don't trust the fact that his ex is at the house when you're not home. It doesn't sound right at all. He really could be cheating on you. Why does he say "I love you" to her if they're not together anymore? He sounds like a total hypocritical asshole! He over reacts with you but gets mad when you get upset at him when he's doing something really wrong? This is very heart breaking to tell you this, but you have to leave. This relationship is very unhealthy and is only giving you stress. Believe me, I've been there. My ex was the same way with this ***** at work. It was hard, but I had to go.
2006-10-08 18:26:04 · answer #3 · answered by mystique 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like double standards here. Hes trying to work out things with his ex but still wants you around just in case it doesnt. You are being used by him for his purposes. You may really need to go out and get a full life, job, residence, friends, etc, whatever but you definitely need to get away from him and the sooner the better. Find a friend that will let you stay with her til you get on your feet and agree to helpwith expenses. Realize that this is only temporary on your way to a better life so it wont seem so hard right now. He will probably threaten you which is normal in this case, but dont be afraid to call the police or even get a restraining order against him for your safety. Good luck
2006-10-08 18:25:53 · answer #4 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl, this guy is a jealous, controlling jerk & a total loser. You're better off without him. Even if you have to live with a friend or relative for awhile, get out of that situation ASAP. If the physical abuse hasn't started yet, it probably will before long. So your sanity & personal safety depend on it.
One final note: In the future, take care that you don't fall for the same kind of guy all over again.
2006-10-08 18:41:04 · answer #5 · answered by WillyC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You made it before with out him, and you can make it now. You have to leave, because it is going to get worst. Tell him to go back to his ex, since they have to be on the phone all the time, just stay together. This relationship will never work. Don't get involved so quick, you have got to know a person first, how else are you going to know them!
2006-10-08 18:27:44 · answer #6 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out. Get out now. What is wrong with you? Aren't you worth respect. He can "Talk" to his ex? You can't even bump into someone? He is a manipulator, and abusive. You are a person, not a thing. He is a controller. If this was happening to your best friend or a sister, you'd tell them the same. Save yourself. You are worth more than this. Get out, get some counseling. Contact your local domestic violence outreach. make a safety plan and get out. File for a restraining order. Good luck.
2006-10-08 18:21:33 · answer #7 · answered by pitmanette 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is he your boss? Why would you not have a job if you broke up with him? You already recognize that he is mentally abusive ... hence the word ABUSIVE! Just to name a few others ... CONTROLLING, INSECURE, DISRESPECTFUL and VIOLENT! As far as the "no home" part ... I'm curious to know where you were living before (6months is not that long ago!)... you might want to consider going back. And I'm not sure what region you live in but I would seriously consider carpooling with a coworker or taking a taxi to work. It's just not worth it!!! SAVE YOURSELF!
2006-10-08 18:28:57 · answer #8 · answered by dgads39 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, i didn't even finish reading that but i'll say this...leave him now. For a guy to still be saying 'i love you' to his ex but to try and control you from talking to any other guy is just crazy. You're only headed for serious trouble if you stay with him. He's obviously a control freak. You need to find yourself a man that can be with you and only with you and love you and only you.
2006-10-08 18:17:11 · answer #9 · answered by colleenjohn_vano 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i hate to be so blunt but you are in a horrible situation and need to get out of it as fast as you can. you are even admitting it is deeper than mental abuse. this man is controlling and could be dangerous. besides the obvious fact that he is still seriously involved with his ex girlfriend. there are alot of people in this world and life is very short, do not waiste one more minute of your life.
2006-10-08 18:20:03 · answer #10 · answered by askme24 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get out.
Get a job, get paid, get a place and take a bus/train, walk, ride a bike, ask a co-worker.
Stay with a compassionate friend who wouldn't want you to stay with that kind of guy.
2006-10-08 18:16:41 · answer #11 · answered by steelypen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋