I just need a second wind
To start a new Life
And begin again
But this excess baggage
Keeps holding me back
Keeping me off track
But not for long
I feel a new attitude
Comin on
Breaking free
To rise to the top
Not letting any outside influences
Or negative distortions hold me back anymore!
I’m going to unfold
Explore
Set goals
Adore
MYSELF
Be free
Free of the negativity that breaks you apart
No! I’m making a new start
Looking for love of ME
Satisfied as to who I am
To soar above the foolishness
To stop…
And allow the happiness
Yes, I just need a second wind
To start a new life and begin again
To be ME
To be FREE
To have PEACE…mmm, mmm, mmm
To be a strong black woman of understanding
Nurturing and full of pride
Steadily holding inner strength
To ride the wave of life
Full of strife and antiquities of sorrow
No longer will I let that hold me down
I’m picking myself up off the ground
And live
LIVE
LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!!!
Ahhhhhhhhhh!
Now I have my second wind
I have began to live again
To be ME
To be FREE and in PEACE…
2006-10-08 11:13:34 · 10 answers · asked by queendom 1 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
I just loved it! I am a little older than you are, I can tell, if that means anything. Keep writing, as i have read nothing lately as up-lifting and inspirational and refreshing as that is, good luck in your endeavors, and may God bless, as Red Skelton used to say at the close of his TV shows.
2006-10-08 11:30:07 · answer #1 · answered by hillbilly 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the style shifts a great deal between stanzas, which can sometimes work to your advantage. Since your speaker is starting out rundown, you might want to show the process of getting a second wind and becoming inspired again. Use the words to show your readers what is going on, as opposed to telling us directly what you want us. Show over tell is one of the most powerful devices you can employ as a poet. Experiment with this piece, and believe that you have ever reason to be proud of it no matter what you do. As for making a living at poetry, even the greatest poets find it difficult, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't go for it!
2006-10-08 18:20:35 · answer #2 · answered by jennybeanses 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a good thing going, Just needs a little editing. Very Inspirational and can be applied to anyone with the substitution of certain words.
2006-10-08 18:21:52 · answer #3 · answered by JistheRealDeal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your poem is eloquent, beautiful and full of thought from the heart. It reflects true talent and I hope you nurture that talent and continue to write, It touched me, and inspired me to give thought to my own life. Bravo!
2006-10-08 18:21:14 · answer #4 · answered by deedleydee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey it's really good you might have a chance but like my professor always says " You can never be satisfied until your work is the best it can be" meaning never give up on your dreams and keep adding to your poem and making changes until you're sure it's your personality and your work of art.
great job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-10-08 18:59:51 · answer #5 · answered by Candy girl_11 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very sing songy....I think it would make a really nice inspirational song with a bit of editing.
Whitney would knock it off the charts. ;)
2006-10-08 18:26:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it is a great poem! But in my opinion, some parts just don't really flow. If you worked on those parts, I think it would be awesome!
2006-10-08 18:18:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it and I know it was real from your heart ,because that how I write them .I can only write at certain times .good luck
2006-10-08 18:18:08 · answer #8 · answered by Holly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Check out the website Poetry.com and have a blast. I like your style....
2006-10-08 18:17:06 · answer #9 · answered by Barbiq 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
its cute. but i think it needs a little bit of work. but keep working on it and dont give up. good luck.
2006-10-08 18:16:18 · answer #10 · answered by ♥Amanda Way♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋