what you can do if you are married and you love someone Else?

Answer 1

learn to love the one you are with... did you forget the vow you made on your wedding day, or were you just bullshiting?

Answer 2

One time I would have said what most people are saying but people are not perfect we are human and make mistakes so who are we to judge are there things that any of you have done that you regret. I believe that you should sit her down and honestly express how you feel. She will respect you more for telling her the truth then to lie and keep it a secret because you will be living a lie and it will eat you up inside.There has to be something going on with you and your wife that is causing you to feel this way and caused you to continue to the point of loving someone else. If she wants to forgive you ,tell her what is wrong and what she could do{if she is willing to try and change and wants the mairrage), give it the some more time before you leave_you owe her that much and if you still decide to leave make it as painless as possible bc she will be hurting and may do and say things that will make you want to run to the arms of the one you love but from here on out (remember you hurt her ) and try to wait until your divorce is final while repent ing (ask forgiveness) for the adultery you committed. Sometimes people grow apart and we cannot help how we feel, and it happens when we least expect it and although we know we should not go the route bc it is wrong, severe circumstances in a mairrage can make one weak, depressed and vulnerable and thats when someone you work with or know or meet just happens to befriend you. You know it is wrong to have a friend of the opposite sex at that time in a mairrage, but when you are in a depressed state, people tend to notice and show concern and suddenly that person becomes the person that you wish your spouse was, who listens, no arguing or fighting, who makes you laugh or smile and show genuine care_everyone longs for that even if you don't plan on anything happening and see it as a temporary escape from your home reality_and before you know it, you are too deep to turn back and fall in love. Personally, as a wife, I would not want to stay with someone who did not love me, bc if they love someone else, I would always wonder if they are thinking about that person and that would not be fair to me if he did not have the one of the main ingredients in the mairrage to make it work. If you have children no matter what put their concerns and feelings first initially. if she loves you she will not take time away from your children and open her heart to love them and put their well being first because they will need time to adjust. Dont bad mouth their mom and be respectful to mom in front of the children. Read what I wrote about what I thought love should be and if you agree, base your decision on your heart. You can still love your children and be there for them. Time heals all wounds and she may find someone who really does love her.

Answer 3

You already went way to far in this affair you are having. You had to marry your wife for certain reasons you need to remember those times. It might be to late now what is done is done. You need to evaluate your life and see what is more important. You should tell your wife about what you are feeling she has every right to know that you are being unfaithful. If you want this marriage to work you should go to marriage cancelling. Everyone always thinks the grass is greener on the other side. You might just be disappointed if you were to choose your lover and move out with her instead. You might be making the biggest mistake of your life.

Answer 4

!!!!!!! Bottom line: No matter what you do, do NOT lie, even by omission. If you feel bad enough about something that you want to lie about it, you need to take some time to consider WHY. If you can be honest with all those involved, you'll know you;re doing the right thing. !!!!!!

Its OK to love many people without being sexually involved with them.
The question is, Do you love your spouse as well? If you do not love your spouse, you need to think about breaking it off, as you'll eventually both end up miserable.

If you do love your spouse, remember this person promised their life to you. If they have held good with that promise, you owe it to them to be deserving of that loyalty.

Everyone who's been married strays in one way or another, you need to think ahead, assume your spouse will find out about it if you spend time with this other person and what the repurcussions of that will likely be. Regardless of whether you are forgiven, the damage will likely be irreparable if you are dishonest.

Now consider the other person: Are you doing right by them? Are you clear on the part they want you to play in their life?

Answer 5

You can ponder the eternal question of whether to stand by your wedding vows knowing that you will make yourself unhappy, make your wife unhappy, make your children unhappy and unstable, f*ck up your job, alienate your friends, hate yourself and end up resenting your wife, or whether to abandon someone you promised your life to without having the guts to put the other person out of your mind and put things right in your relationship.

You can ponder this question for a while, then go insane. It's a problem without a solution. An unanswerable question.

Go and listen carefully to the lyrics to "Too Much Love Will Kill You" by Brian May/Queen. It won't help, but you'll know you're not the only person in that situation.

Answer 6

Grass seems greener on the other side of the fence ................. water ur grass or jump the fence . jumping the fence could cost u dearly . maybe try taking some real times away from the person u think u love and seeing what u still have in ur marriage but u can not focus on a marriage as long as u have another in ur face trust me i tried this and it doesn't work. always looks better till u jump the fence. then u may look back with regrets . in my case i do not but i also am not with the person i was loving at that time he was transitional and he gave me a ultimatum and it did not work in his favor . i have since moved on and do not look back. But my ex cheated on me so my case is a lil different then urs too . Good luck . Happiness is much better in the long run .

Answer 7

First of all you never should have gotten yourself in this kind of situation in the first place. You knew you were married before you did whatever is you did. Go to this other woman and let her know that you have a vow that you made to your wife and you can not continue on in this deceitful relationship, Try to make things work out with your wife, although it may seem the grass is greener on the other side,trust me it isn't. Go to counseling be honest to your wife let her know that you have been up to no good and that you apologize. What if you find out that your wife has been dating some big hunk of a man and he is putting the smack down on her something serious how would you feel? SHAME ON YOU!

Answer 8

Didn't you know this before you married the other person.You need to let go of those feeling for someone else.Let the reason why you married your wife in the first place come to mind.

Answer 9

Stick with your marriage. You made a vow. Now honor it or end up in divorce court like 50% of married couples.

Let's stop the madness people! When are we going to take marriage seriously?

Answer 10

Don't live a lie. Not only will it hurt you but it will hurt your wife. Be honest with your wife and set her free. She will be devastated at first and probably for a while, but in the long run she at least has the chance to find someone who really loves her. Don't waste her whole life.

Answer 11

its natural to "love" someone from your past like a "1st love" type of thing..but if this love for the other person is overriding the love you share for your wife, then you need to sit down and think about who really makes you happy...Your married for a reason, and there has to be alot of love there..but its not fair for either of you if its not 100% from each of you. Think about it, and talk to your spouse if you feel you need to seperate.