I cant stand the guy with a passion but dont get me wrong,I love the baby because she is innocent in all this.My feelings stem from her relationship with him.He was her first for everything and I mean everything were together for 8 years and after she got pregnant the guy started treating her really bad which is why she is not with him.He took her virginity.Didnt take care of her protecting himself and got her pregnant.Changed her body then called her names for gaining wieght.He dont deserve a child with her.We are still fresh as a couple and I love my girl very much but sometimes I feel like her history with him is just to much for me and it kills me that even though he treated her bad shes says that she cares for him because hes her kids dad.I respect that the guys always gonna be there.This is another reason why I think some guys dont want to get involved with a girl with a kid not just because he dont want to deal with the kid.How can I deal with this.Thanks.
2006-10-08 11:04:02 · 9 answers · asked by rock_roll_musicman 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You are right. Her history with him is too much for you to handle. You need to find a woman who doesn't have an ex or a child as baggage for you to have to be concerned about.
2006-10-08 11:12:14 · answer #1 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's natural to feel some anger for an individual who mistreated the person you care for... but right now it appears that your girlfriend is trying to move on with her life inspite of the differences she had with her former boyfriend. She's with you now and it's important to realize, as you have, that the child of that union is the important one and will need all the love and care both of you can possibly give.
Your girlfriend also needs you to show her another way... and the best way to resolve your anger is to bring happiness into the lives of those you love. You cannot change what has happened and the one you're angry with shouldn't control what you really have to give to this new relationship. There is no competition... it sounds as though you're a positive influence for this girl and her child. Be supportive.
2006-10-08 11:22:00 · answer #2 · answered by pane2nou 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about stop trying to control something you have no control over.
Your right if he is a man he will be there forever for the child.And there's nothing you can do about that.So get over it ,and stop worring about what happened in there relationship.Before it starts interfering with yours.
You don't know all of what has happened in that relationship.Alls you know is one side.What she's told you,not his side.
It takes two people to break up a relationship.
If you can't handle the fact he and will be around,you need to get out why you can.Before you start turning your anger towards her and that child.It takes a very mature individual to be in a relationship like yours.
Are you that person?
Good luck to you
2006-10-08 11:20:32 · answer #3 · answered by seandebra17 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can have anger, but, BUTT out. He is the child's father, and anything to do with her is HER and HIS dealings. You can support her, be there for her and the child, but no matter how much you hate it or him, HE is the daddy. If he is the jerk you say, and your not adding to it, he will move on soon anyways.
You have got to remember this though, making a kid don't make you a dad, you have to earn it. So start earning it with this child by showing your a man and not a boy and respect that he is her father. Good luck, it is hard to raise someone Else's kid, I am a single father and I know how hard it is to find a lady to accept mine.
2006-10-08 11:14:49 · answer #4 · answered by Common Sense 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First and foremost, you'll be able to deal with it if you truly love her and her child. Remember, the child's feelings for her parents are most important. As long as you show respect toward the child's father, the child and mother will always respect you! It's hard at first, but will get easier as time goes on. I hope you give her all the compliments and love she can handle. Once someone has ripped down your self esteem, it's hard to get back and she'll show you the same love and respect. Always remember, her child will always have love for her father and you should never, ever, ever bad mouth him, at least not in front of her. I wish you the best, it is hard. Just depends on how much love you have in you heart!!!
2006-10-08 11:11:38 · answer #5 · answered by Vi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
heavily. you desire expert help. contemporary your self at any Emergency branch- sober- tell them approximately your stable, continual, violent recommendations of homicide and suicide. in case you have any suggestions of the style you will possibly kill your self or Dad's lady buddy you ought to exhibit those recommendations, whether they look imprecise to you. additionally you ought to describe the style you have been making use of alcohol to numb your anger, unsuccessfully. Do all that, definitely, and it would get you right into a psychiatric scientific institution for a pair of week, perhaps extra. Insist on a discharge plan to comprise helpful outpatient scientific care; which might comprise weekly guy or woman sessions with a therapist.
2016-10-19 01:12:47 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you wnt to have any kind of relationship with this girl you need to get over it! What she had with him is the past, you are her present, and hopefully her future!!
What he WAS to her, is just that WAS! Get it?
My husband took on me, my two son's, an ignorant ex and his crazy wife! But all that mattered was me and the boy's, it was a rocky road, but we survived and have been married almost 20 years! He raised my son's like they were his own and no onw could be any prouder of their kid's than he is of the boys!
I guess what I am trying to say is that, you will have to deal with him, because the baby is his, but for her sake you just have to suck it up sometimes! In the long run, the baby will be the one that will suffer, if you can't get past, the past!
Just be the bigger man, and enjoy the two girls! (mom and baby)
You will be alot happier in the long run!
2006-10-08 11:24:25 · answer #7 · answered by suequek 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest, you need to probably find another girlfriend. In all honesty, you cannot accept this girl's past and the fact that this guy is going to be involved in her life forever. If she still "cares" for him then there is a chance they will eventually "find" one another all over again when they both grow up. Nope, your relationship with her is doomed, pal.
2006-10-08 11:14:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
first of all take a deep breath , talk to your girl friend tell her how you feel tell her what's bothering you and maybe you two can resolve this together you won't know till you try
2006-10-08 11:19:07 · answer #9 · answered by cassie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋