my husband and i are having alot of problems, lazy wont work doesnt help out etc. well he doesnt cheat and he isnt mean or abusive well on the flip side my sisters husband is abusive and he cheats and presently doesnt care who knows that he cheats. she works two jobs and has 3 kids he babysits when she works at night because she knows no one there where they live. she wants to move out and get her own place but she wants me to move there and live with her. I dont know if i should stay here and give my husband a month to get his act together because i do still love him or if i should move there with her, I am also not sure if she wants me there as her sitter for the kids or to live together and raise our kids together. i might need a change but will she be on the go all he time while im home with the kids i dont know what to do give me some advice please.
2006-10-08 10:56:07 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Marriage or any relationship where you live with your significant other should be 50/50... In society in the OLD days it was the man who was the bread winner.. Now it takes the man & the woman to both be the bread winners. Unfortunately with your husband not working, that does not help you or him.. Someone has to pay the bills. I would tell him that he has X amount of time to get a job & to start helping support the family & if he doesn't you are gone. If he does not want to help the family survive, you may be better off going to live with your sister. Sounds like both of you have had your fair share of tough times. The two of you maybe able to split 50/50 when it comes to household bills.. and you will find that you each will be further ahead. However one of your concerns is , will your sister want u as a sitter for the kids and will she be on the go all the time. I would certainly pose those questions to her, before you make a choice. Then from that point each of you should lay down some ground rules for one another. What each of you expect, etc. Good Luck to you & your sister!
2006-10-08 11:06:44 · answer #1 · answered by Kammaka2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I want you to know that its a great thing you found a good man who doesnt cheat, doesnt hit, doesnt emotionally or mentally hurt you....unlike your poor sister, you turned out lucky...As far as him being lazy....all guys are lazy, BUT there is a drawing line that you need to make sure he understands. him not working, IS a serious issue...idk how long its been that way, but if its been months, then you REALLY need to sit him down and talk and give him a choice. tell him you love him...tell him hes the only one for you and you cant see your life without him....BUT also, tell him, that you need him to meet you half way in this relationship...that you feel hurt deep down that the man your so in love with, doenst feel the need to help his wife financially....you have to really play this out very seriously and hit him in the heart well...you dont want to make him angry, the best way to get thru to someone is to let your guard down and speak your heart out...if you want to cry, then cry in front of him....hold him...make it somewhat dramtic...why? not to be a drama queen, but bc guys need a knock on the head before they wake up sometimes...and this is how you test his love...if he feels moved, affected in some way, and shows the willingness to change for the better, than you know not only does he really love you, but that times will be rough, since ppl dont change over nite...but you have a life long guarnentee that this man will be there for you, for life...life is hard, and diffcult and rough...and if you can hold on to the man who will help you thru all the ups and downs and roadblocks life has to throw at you, then keep him....HOWEVER, to look at this both ways, if after your whole sincere dramtic crying scene, he seems that he was unaffected or even bothered, then thats when you have to sit back and check yourself and your relationship. As far as your sister goes, you should always be there for her, even if her intentions are to help raise her kids...but you need to be upfront with her and tell her that your there when she needs you, but you too have a family and husband and your own relationship issues you need to take care of... use each other as backbones....in life, men and money are the two things that can come and go....but family is always there, no matter how bad things get between 2 sisters at times....she is always always always there in the end.
I hope this helps somewhat! good luck!
2006-10-08 11:07:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him to get a job or else , but i guess you have already done that. because the anger would surley explode out of me , if i were in that situation. i would give him just so long to get a job or tell him your plans. he will see there will be no one there to support his lazy tale , he might get up and do something! talk stuff over with your sister first , you may get stuck into another situation that is even worse...at least ya don't have to chase the kid you are with right now!
2006-10-08 11:34:56 · answer #3 · answered by kierstead 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should try and talk to your husband, and tell him If he does not get his act together you are going to leave. See if he want to go to counseling. to save the marriage.
Now as far as your sister is concern, that is not going to work, One kitchen is not big enough for two cooks, remember that! That is a disaster waiting to happen.
2006-10-08 11:16:25 · answer #4 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
often, in case you're keen to circulate away out of your companion, you at the instant are not that into the dating. I had to contemplate whether i ought to stand shifting to the South formerly I agreed to marry my companion. He has no plans of shifting right now, in spite of the fact that this is a threat on account that he replaced into displaced by making use of Katrina and a million/2 his kin are nevertheless there (the different a million/2 are right here). My sister ended a marriage using fact mutually as she replaced into keen to bear l. a. for him, he replaced into unwilling to circulate away whilst her well-being deteriorated as a effect of the stress of that city. this is unlike he had relatives there or something. It replaced into all approximately him. ultimately, i might prefer to function that some human beings only are not transplantable using fact of homesickness. can not do too lots approximately them.
2016-10-19 01:12:42 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well try talking it out... Then give it a few weeks like 2 then if that doesnt work suggest councling to him and if he says no then tell him you are leaving him. If he agrees see how that works out if it doesnt then leave if it does then GREAT
2006-10-08 10:59:21 · answer #6 · answered by jharris8506 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you should tell her to report her husband. Then with that taken care of, you need to decide what you want to do with your life.
2006-10-08 11:11:38 · answer #7 · answered by Gloria B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well...If you love your husband and wants to be with him still you should stay with him.But, That just want i would do.Just do want you want to.Hope the best for you.
2006-10-08 11:00:42 · answer #8 · answered by teleeca r 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋