I need help with all of my problems! PLEASE HELP! DESPERATE!!!?

Question

How can I deal with my dad being a cheater, mom having sex with people i dont know, dad hurting step-brothers, step-mother hating me, grandmother being so nosy, uncle annoying me, having your former best friend "love" and stalk you, having three guns in the house, parents being divorced, not knowing two of my sisters, my dad telling me he wants another divorce having already two former wives (one being my mom), dad owning lots of porn in a children enviroment, and my mom being very strict and pressurizing me, and both of my parents thinking i am phsychotic because of my artwork? Please help me with at least one of my problems. oh and by the way, yes, i am ALMOST a teenager, but i am pretty smart and i know all about sex and bad words, so feel comfortable to talk about those. PLEASE HELP! TOO UNCOMFORTABLE TO TALK TO MY PEERS! DON'T LEAVE ME OUT IN THE DARK TO BE FILLED WITH PROBLEMS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!

By the way I love my parents and I will killing them inside if I leave, and I will kill me inside too.

Answer 1

Nothing you can do about your fathers or mothers situations, they are adults and responsible for their own actions. Grandmothers are naturally notoriously nosy so nothing to be done about that. Hurting the step brothers, call family and children services they are obligated to investigate any accusation of abuse.( regardless of who reports it) Stalker let the police handle that, most states now have stalking laws. 3 guns in the house as long as they are owned by an adult who has a permit, and are safely locked away is not against the law.Nothing you can do about the parents divorcing their decision not yours. Dad having former wives His problem not yours. As long as Dad doesnt let the children in the enviroment view the porn HE owns then he has every right to own it. Moms are strict because it is a very dnagerous and cruel world out there and she is probably trying to protect you from it. As for your artwork that is a personal expression of what you are feeling if they cant see it for what it is then stop sharing it with them. Your biggest problem from what I can read is that you are worrying about things that you have NO control over( divorce, sex with strangers, step mom hating,) No amount of complaining i going to change any of this. YOu need to focus on what makes you happy and let them worry about their own lives.

Answer 2

Being a pre-teen here is probably the biggest problem as youre not old enough to get out of there, which would have been your best bet. I doubt seriousily that your parents would get you professionalhelp especially when it involves them. Running away is not a viable option here and would only bring the roof down on you. If you get to, if you havent already, the point of enough is enough, and cant take it anymore, then contact a child abuse hotline, explain your situation and tell them that you cant take it anymore and have no where to turn and need help desperately before something happens. I know this isnt exactly the way you want to go, but as a minor there isnt a whole lot of options here but something has to be done to remove you from that environment and your smart enough to realize that is your best option. I just wish I had a better answer for you but its really hard to help you without alot of more details on your family. Sorry and good luck. If I can be of more help legally please email me and Ill get back to you asap

Answer 3

Whether you realize it or not, your mother being strict is probably why you're this okay. At least she has standards for you.

I say you start talking to nosy grandmother. Nosy can be a form of concern. Then I say you focus on your 'psychotic' artwork as a means self-expression. And just know that you make choices in your life, and your family isn't anything you can choose. Hang in there, people have lived through worse, I know it sounds like I don't care -- I really do.

People will tell you to report them for some of the behavior, but you could end up in foster care, which is often worse.

Answer 4

Dear Azelea,

Lots of good answers here; talk to a school counselor and see if you can get some kind of help walking through your crazy maze of a life. It's true that you cannot solve your parents problems, and it just could be that your nosy grandmother is concerned! (I'm a grandmother and very concerned about my grandkids). CrtJester's suggestion about faith & religion is also valid. During some of my darkest times it seemed as if the minister was my only friend.

You are brave to be crying out for help - seek it out sweetie & it will help you get your life in order, even if you are surrounded by chaos.

Answer 5

It sounds like you live in a dysfunctional household. With all the chaos around you, you will either take life by the horns and make positive choices for yourself or make bad decisions from following the bad leadership around you. You need a positive role model in your life; someone you can respect and look up to who can advise you on how to handle these issues. You will find advice on this website, but not direction. I encourage you to find a church with a good youth group where you can find that positive influence and develop positive relationships. I came from a broken home and came to faith on my own at an early age. My family had no faith and I will be honest with you: I probably would have made bad choices without my faith. My parents didn't instill me with anything to restrain me from being stupid. They didn't give me any kind of "inner compas" by which to make wise choices, but my faith did give me that and kept me from getting hooked on drugs, getting a girl pregnant, committing crimes or something else stupid that would wreck my life. You have to make sure you don't make the same kinds of choices those around you are making and you need an "anchor." Something to teach you what's right and how to walk the straight and narrow. It can save your life.

Answer 6

Azalea, take a sigh of relief that you are learning from these people what 'not to do.' I learned that from family members but I still had to learn what was 'right' for me. That takes some living to do. If you make mistakes forgive yourself in the future hon. In the mean time just be patient, take it a day at a time. You're not far from being independent. Be at peace with yourself. I am proud for you!

Answer 7

Ok first, You have to take a deep breath. you got a lot going on. Your parents are obviously busy with their lives, but it sounds like your Mom is trying to lead you the right way.
DO THIS: tell your mom you need to talk to her.
tell her exactly what you said, print this out. tell her you need someone to confide in, if it isn't gonna be her, ask her if you can see a doctor, even your family doctor can help. even a school counselor. it will be hard at first to ask for help, but I promise it will help you. If you don't find anyone e-mail me, I will always listen. I will offer the best advice I can. [e-mail]

Answer 8

Hon, your situation sounds just the same way I grew up. I'm 49 now and when I look back u should call welfare and get a great foster home or adoption or the crap will continue down thru generations as it has with u, hon u could end up being sexually abused and no one deserves that. Your smart if u want to graduate and go to college get help now!

Answer 9

I would find a good youth group program, maybe a church, or a club, sports or some activity that helps you get out of that environment, and get's your mind of of things. Stay in good environmets as much as you can, get out of thye house as often as possible,find a good church, get some good solid freinds who don't get into trouble, and who have a succesfull mindset, and surround yourself with possitive people. you will became like the people and the the environment you spend the most time in, so make sure it's a good apmosphere. Find Good clean frinds, it's hard, but they are out there.

Answer 10

I see years and years of therapy in your future, the only thing I can tell you that may help is surround yourself with friends that can be a support system for you, and be true to yourself, eventually you will get out of the jacked up enviroment that you are in. just hang on it will get better one day, cant promise when but one day you will see the end of the tunnel