When do/did your priorities in life change?

Question

I'm 21, about to move in to my own place for the first time. I'm in a long term relationship, in face we are engaged.

I was thinking the other day how if I suddendly died I'd lament the fact I was never able to say goodbye to Mum and Dad...my fiancee was secondary to them. However when I asked some friends, they were the other way around- they thought of boy/girlfriend, wife/husband first, then the parents. These people were all aged 18 to 50, some still living at home, others long ago moved out.

So I was wondering when this change in the 'closeness' of loved ones comes about, if at all in some people. Losing mum and or dad at this stage in my life, I think, would affect me much more than my fiancee- sounds harsh but it's true.

So what's your opinion? Cheers!

Answer 1

I think it just were your priorities lie, I would think of my daughter, then husband, then parents.

Answer 2

I think at this stage in your life your priorities are normal and understandable.

You're still very young and you're connection with your parents are still close at hand. They were your caregivers just 2-3 years ago.

Also the love you have for a wife, the love your have for your parents, and the love you will have for your children will not be the same....they are all different kinds of love.

Answer 3

At some stage, and I guess it is different with most people, as with your friends, changes take place in our relationships with parents and wife/girlfriend. I was very close to my mother and my wife. I am Irish, living in London. I always told my wife that I was going home to Ireland and when I would get back to London. Within days of my mother's funeral, that all changed without me realising it. It was my wife that pointed it out to me, that since mom's death, I now say I am going over to Ireland and will be back home on a certain date.......... Strange but true, my 'home' is now with my wife, whereas before, subconsciously it was where mom was..................

Answer 4

i'm so sorry you're in this subject. one component you will learn sweetie, is that no person could administration the thoughts human beings make....whether we could prefer to. Adults could make some tremendously undesirable judgements & it feels like your mom is taken into consideration one of those human beings. some human beings improve out of their stupid techniques and others basically proceed them perpetually. i'm hoping the lesson you will take from all it truly is to make solid selection. you may no longer choose who you're relatives is yet you may learn from their stupid errors and pass directly to have a extra suitable existence. For appropriate now, i could basically stick with your dad, help look out on your youthful siblings, and be desperate to be a extra suitable guy or woman than your mom. in case you do no longer prefer to be around this "hillbilly" guy, tell your mom and dad. perhaps there is something your dad can do to get a prefer to declare you do no longer could be around him ever.

Answer 5

mine changed 10 yrs ago when I realised I would not have my parents forever so I put them first and took early retirement to care for them and must say really enjoyed having extra time with them, now only have the one but i've no regrets, you only have one mum and dad so love them as you have the rest of your life in front of you.

Answer 6

The day my 1st child was born was the first time . It , like everything else changes in respect to life circumstances .

Answer 7

I think your priorities change when you find someone that you love more than you love yourself.

Answer 8

children - my parents and husband a joint 2nd- but then there are my sisters and my niece and nephew!!- oh god look what you've started - i'll never sleep now!!!