Most of my life, I've had crushes on women, 98% of my fantasies are about women with women, I love Xena and read lesbian fan fiction, the whole shebang. Until now I never fully explored what that meant, and have only ever had relationships with men. I'm in the process of ending a 7 year relationship w/a man, and have no desire to be with a man again.
I met a woman at work that is openly lesbian and I can't stop thinking about her. She's in a relationship, and I respect that, but I love talking to her and am more turned on than I've ever been when I'm near her. One day her breasts brushed against me and I was so aroused I couldn't concentrate the rest of the day. We have a lot in common and she spends a whole lot of time coming to my cubicle to just sit, talk & laugh. I can't tell if she likes me or not, and I don't want to ask because she's in a relationship and we work together, and also, this is new territory to me. Am I a lesbian? And what should I do about my feelings for her?
2006-10-08 09:58:32 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Also, do you think she can tell that I like her, and that I might be a lesbian? She knows about my relationship with the man that I'm ending, but she also knows that I like a lot of things that are (from what she's said) popular in the lesbian community, and that I've got a crush on Xena. We'll sit and talk about Xena, and The L Word, and things like that. I have other lesbian and bi girl friends, and I've never felt this way about any of them. A lot of the things she says and the frequency of her visits would seem like flirting if a man said or did them, but this is so new to me I can't be sure. Thanks so much for your advice.
2006-10-08 10:28:56 · update #1
Wow, I would definitely say there is not much ambiguity about you.
* She might be in an open relationship, she might just sincerely like your company, hard to say. But as for you,
* If you don't at least try a lesbian relationship, you are crazy.
If you trust her, go to lunch with her and ask her if she knows any single women. If she asks what type, say "Well, someone like you would be nice". It will be flattering, keep it light. She will either help you find someone, or she may surprise you.
2006-10-08 10:01:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If she is in a relationship respect it. She may enjoy your company and just appreciate not being judged. It does not mean she is interested. Just ask. Frequently heterosexual men and women are friends w/o any thing else so there is no reason to think it would be any different among the gay community. Good luck.
2006-10-08 10:05:26 · answer #2 · answered by pearl7462 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably!
Still, it is not necessary to label yourself! I am not sure why people are sooooo fixated on what to call themselves. You are a person who is attracted to women and obviously in the past to men, and when it comes down to it we're all HUMAN and the outer package isn't *that* important.
As for the co-worker: respect her relationship by doing nothing about your feelings for her. You are probably somewhat wrapped up in the excitement of the possibility of "what if" with this woman.
Realize there are plenty of other women out there who might "flip your switch" and allow you to explore your curiosities. If something is " meant to happen" with this other woman, it will, even if it's a year or two down the road, but if you go messing with an established relationship, you are just asking for trouble and drama.
2006-10-08 10:05:54 · answer #3 · answered by fierce*flawless 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like it could be a couple of things. If you're as close as it seems, go ahead and tell her you like women. It sounds like she already knows and is waiting for you to say so. Also, don't get involved with someone that's in a relationship. Very bad idea. Oh, and by most people's definitions, swearing off men and wanting to sleep with women kinda means that you're a dyke. Welcome to the club.
2006-10-08 16:43:07 · answer #4 · answered by carora13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you really have the hots for her.Girl she is coming to you talking to you-you say she's in a relationship,wonder what her girl would think? Maybe she wouldn't even think anything,but the thing is she's coming to talk to you so she likes you, My current g/f was married and would come to me at work and talk to me-she had no clue about me just knew she had a crush on me and i enjoyed her company.Then one day she came in with a note and gave it to me-next thing i knew she was telling her husband she didn't love him anymore and they were together for 13 years,we have been together for almost 4 years now. What i'm trying to tell you is you never know,so don't just think cause' she's in a relationship that you don't have a chance-Good luck!!!!!
2006-10-08 10:25:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i also like a girl at work and im not sure if im a lez or if im bi. i've known her for a while, but im not as close as you, i wish i could talk to her. if you like someone you should maintain a friendship and if u see an oppertunity down the line, then go after it. i wish i could just develope a good relationship with her, then i could see if its more than a crush... good luck to you... if you wanna chat sometime.. here's my email sav3me@yahoo.com. i'd love to talk to someone about it, esp since im so confused and havent really told anyone about this. i also watch the l word and south of nowhere... you should check out south of nowhere... its a good show about how a girl tries to figure out her sexuality.
i hope to hear form you.
2006-10-09 18:03:05 · answer #6 · answered by sav3me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't tell her that you like her. Respect her relationship.
She may be a good friend as you process what you are feeling inside, as you come out.
2006-10-10 17:53:38 · answer #7 · answered by knightofsappho 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are a lesbian.
Ask her in a general way how she feels about same sex relationships, and let her answer be your guide.
2006-10-08 10:02:19 · answer #8 · answered by Gaspode 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
is she from lesbia??? i think i am a lesbian as well because i love women as well
2006-10-08 10:10:54 · answer #9 · answered by quasar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋