Is it proper to have a funeral for a 5 month old fetus?

Question

My daughter has just been told that her 5 month old fetus will not survive out of the womb at full term. One of her hormones is out of wack. The hospital will be doing an amniosentisis to find out exactly why this happened. She was given two options: to go full lterm because of your religion or induce labor in the hospital now to terminate pregnancy.

Answer 1

World health organisation diagnoses "Viability" as over 20 weeks and thus the child must be buried or cremated.... This is regulation in Australia and as a practicing midwife we have to register all births over 20 weeks and and 800gms

As to whether you choose a funeral service or a private service this is your daughters choice.... Discuss it with her and allow her to decide

We had a private funeral for our daughter just direct family only and kept the ashes in a beautiful little silver box it helped initiate closure for myself and my hubby, as well as acknowledgement that a precious life had arrived and left this world.

Answer 2

That is so terrible to hear. In my beliefs as a christian I believe she should go full term. I do not agree with just giving up on the pregnancy just because somebody says the baby will not survive. People are proven wrong all the time. I do not know what religion you are but I am a christian and I know the power of the Lord and anything is possible. Just pray about it and see what happens. I am so sorry to hear what your family is going through your daughter must be very upset. If the baby does not survive (God Forbid) yes I think it is completely fine to have a regular funeral after all that baby is a little person. You and your family will be in my prayers. God Bless and Good Luck.

Answer 3

Wow, if the baby was not living wouldn't she lose it spontaneously. Is there not a heartbeat? One of the babies hormones? All sounds unbelievable. She can carry the baby to full term, is it growing, how do they absolutely know it will not live outside the womb. How is the baby developing on ultrasound? Has she gotten a second opinion. I would answer all of these before I made any decision. This is only my thought. Yes, you could have a funeral. Call a funeral home and get their advice and they should be able to tell you how they normally handle these things. So sorry....

Answer 4

It's perfectly fine. Each family is different and copes in their own way, and having a funeral would be a beautiful way to remember this little life that was so important to everyone. It also acknowledges that your family is experiencing a loss and even though you've never gotten to know the baby, it's a devastating thing to have happen. I read a story once by a woman who had to continue with the pregnancy even though her baby was already dead, they never gave her an option, and it was really difficult. The baby was no longer growing and developing but she had to carry him until her body was ready. The lady who wrote the story chose to hold her baby and even take pictures of him. Whatever decision your daughter makes, she should be allowed to hold the baby if she so chooses, as long as they prepare her for what he will look like. They can even get a print of his tiny feet so she can have that as a keepsake. As far as inducing labor now, she should definitely wait until nature takes it's course as long as the baby is still alive. If she doesn't then she might be haunted by the "what-ifs" and always wonder if she did the right thing. And you never know if the diagnosis right now is even correct or might reverse itself. She doesn't even have to undergo the amniocentesis if she doesn't want to, that itself can induce labor.

Answer 5

I would hope that she would check with other doctors because I would hate to think that the baby could survive. Anyhow, YES...do have a funeral. My cousin and her husband just lost their first baby when they were 23 weeks pregnant. They did have a funeral although it was a closed casket. It was a time of healing for them. The family had a chance to let them know that they were/are loved and cared for and that even though we were never able to see or hold the baby that he was still part of the family. If she does lose the baby there are many nice pieces of jewelry that can be purchased on line to be given to the mother as a memorial of the child. We purchased a beautiful diamond necklace for my cousin. Something simple that will be close to her heart just as her angel son will be. I will keep your family in my prayers and hope that the doctors are wrong. Blessings.

Answer 6

I'm really sorry that your family is going through this. It must be so painful! I think it's good to be led by your daughter, the baby's father and the family about whether or not you hold a funeral. For many families this is a very important part of the grieving process and helps with closure, and is absolutely proper. I recently attended a funeral for a baby that was stillborn at 23 weeks.

Answer 7

I really think this is a personal choice. Some women just want to consider the whole thing a miscarriage and leave it at that, where others feel they need the closure of a funeral.

I have found that the funeral is less common but women end up wishing later on that they had done one.

Good luck and God bless. This is a very difficult thing and your daughter is really going to need a lot of support for her loss.

Answer 8

i would definitely carry full term. doctors arent always right. they are the most ill-informed group of educated people on the planet probably. they play God all the time and have no clue to His plans. If it's His will for the baby not to make, you'll know you gave it every chance. I am so sorry though, this must be the most difficult thing to face in the world. as far as the funeral, i think it's appropriate if your daughter is emotionally up for it. if that's something she wants, then i would definitely honor her wishes. it's very proper for a mother to do whatever she deems appropriate with her child.

Answer 9

First, I am so sorry that your daughter is going through this, as well as your family. It is a difficult choice to make. I truly hope she is getting 2nd and 3rd opinions!!!
Second, yes, the baby should have a funeral if that is your daughter's wish. If the baby does not survive, then you all deserve to say good-bye in the way your daughter decides.
I am so sad for you.

Answer 10

I would carry the baby to term and if the baby dies before that Definitely have a funeral. It is so important to say goodbye to the baby and create memories. My baby died before he was born at 39 weeks. It is the law anyway from I think about 20 weeks to have a funeral but to help with the grieving it's important for all of you. I wish you well.