please help, am chief morner, lots of agro in family, and
I certainly will never see any of thehangers on again, some one
out there , gotta give me a start , pse ?
2006-10-08 09:39:06 · 30 answers · asked by landgirl60 4 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
Similar circumstances last year...My stepfather died and his family treated my mother as if she was something they scrapped of their shoes. Just try to be dignified and calm and treat them with respect, treat them how you would like to be treated and if they don't respond well or cannot be civilised at least you know you didn't let your friend down and you can at least walk away the better person. Good luck and I am very sorry for your loss.
2006-10-08 09:48:54 · answer #1 · answered by charlotte e 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A funeral should be a time when people come together to mourn the person who has passed, regardless of how well they get along. My grandfather passed away awhile ago and I witnessed something very tragic. My Aunt and Uncle have some kind of a grudge against my Mom and Dad. I wont explain the whole story, because it's not really necessary. I expected them to be civil at my grandfather's funeral, but they gave us the cold shoulder, and my Aunt wouldn't even say hello to my Mom. I think this is terrible, I dont care what happened between them or whose fault it was. You're at a funeral to pay your respects to someone, and being rude to his family would not be respecting him. I know it can be hard, but try to put aside your differences, just for the day.
2006-10-08 18:01:59 · answer #2 · answered by deepwaters05 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I take it that the guy died -if that is the case then by all means go to his funeral and grieve for him! It is sad but true that families can be so cold sometimes and this is so very wrong! After the funeral don't be around them again take him flowers when you want to or visit his grave! One person in a family can start a bunch of trouble keeping the whole family in an uproar! This comes from them just having a cold heart. It is like some people keep their heart in a block of ice! Never be that way yourself! Some just like to see who they can Manipulate-at other peoples expense!
2006-10-08 16:55:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Am I right in presuming the agro is with you? If so..Hopefully if the family have any respect,they will realise that it is totally unapropriate for any underlying issues to be brought up during or after the service.If they do not understand this,then politely tell them so.You could also say that you could arrange to meet them on another occasion to try and sort things out.For yourself,try to block out any negative feelings you have towards the family, and concentrate on good feelings of your friend,remember him well and give him your own personal send off in your mind.This is of course sadly why you will be there in the first place.Strength and courage to you.Goodluck.
2006-10-08 16:52:25 · answer #4 · answered by yupthatsright! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't mean disrespect here, but many have said you are going for him. I am not sure why - but I think you would be going so that YOU could say good bye to your dear friend - so that you can deal with your grief and for closure.
You may not like his family - but understand that they are grieving, too and that issue alone is worthy of your respect. After the funeral, you don't need to pursue the relationship - if you don't want to or have anything in common with them.
I am sorry for your loss.
2006-10-08 16:51:47 · answer #5 · answered by Kare♥Bear 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in the same boat, go, pay your respects to the one you love (that's why you're there!!), and leave. Hold your tongue if someone tries to start something while you're there, but make it quick. Are you his wife? That makes it hard to be brief, but the main point is, DON'T SAY ANYTHING TO MAKE HIS FUNERAL A BAD SCENE!! If you love him, you owe him that much. Sorry for your loss, and good luck at the funeral.
2006-10-08 16:46:37 · answer #6 · answered by sunny_day1958 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of all the places, a funeral would be the worst to pursue a grudge against somebody. Just pretend that you are completely OK with them and hope they have a shred of decency and leave it at that.
2006-10-08 16:42:40 · answer #7 · answered by adambomb286 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funerals are for the living, that is, those who remain.
You are going for his sake, no one elses.
So imagine every one you meet is him
Be selective in your hearing if necessary
Generally speaking most funerals do go off OK
and you don't have to stay behind after do you?
Maybe go somewhere special to you and continue your rememberence there
2006-10-08 16:55:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are doing it for closure between you and him, not his family.
I don't know what chief mourner is, but if you have to make a speech, it is about him, the good he did, and how you enjoyed him. Forget for at least one that day that the rest of his family are schmucks.
2006-10-08 16:42:36 · answer #9 · answered by captn_carrot 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate my husbands family too but you gotta stick it up and even at times its damn ok to disagree with them but just avoid them! and stick with your man the day will go by and you will be outta there before you know it, My condolences.Good Luck
2006-10-08 16:43:01 · answer #10 · answered by sogullablegurly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋