My (male) friend and I (fem) went to the pub and had too much to drink. The question we discussed all night was: What is worse, your partner having a one-night stand or him finding a new soul-mait and having feelings for her, even if he never meets her? With that I mean someone to share your intimate feelings and problems with.
In my opinion, it would be much harder to deal with that scenario than to have non-meaningful sex after a drunken night out.
Needless to say, the guy didn't agree. What is your opinion? Do you feel the same or am I just screwed up?
2006-10-08 08:38:51 · 34 answers · asked by Hipira 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
Another reason men & women are so different.
To me when i found out my boyfriend asked another girl out I was more interested to find out if he held her hand than slept with her & now he BEGS me not to sleep with anyone. We're just wired so differently. Him being intimate with (not sexual) someone hurts me more than just sex, he's the opposite.
2006-10-08 08:45:31 · answer #1 · answered by HiKo73 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats kind of a tough one if you really think about it. With the one-night stand, yeah it was meaningless with the other girl, but it shows that obviously something was pretty wrong in the relationship for him to do something like that; how could you do that to someone you love, even if you are drunk? Plus, even after all the hurt and betrayal, you would have to deal with the whole trust issue. Which, if i were the girl cheated on, would take forever and a day to earn my trust back. So the cheating scenario just seems like a HUGE mess, tons and tons of work, lots of frustration, and a feeling of betrayal, hurt, and doubt that may never go away.
Now with the soul-mate thing, yeah it would hurt so insanely bad, but at least there would be some closure. You could be happy the guy found the love of his life and eventually move on. At least you wouldnt have something hanging over your head with this one.
UNLESS he was seeing her behind your back, which in that case, would be much much worse, no contest.
Deception with sex is one thing; deception with love is in a whole other league.
2006-10-08 08:57:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i wouldnt like either,but i agree with you,if my partner began to share his feelings and problems with another woman,then it would upset me,as i would wonder why he feels unable to talk to me.if he had intimate feelings for her then i'd know that he didnt love me 100%,if he had a drunken one night stand,then i suppose thats not as bad,as there are no feelings there,but if your in a relationship,you should never be tempted to stray,just because you've had too much booze,thats just an excuse,its easy to say "i didnt know what i was doing"at the end of the day ,in both situations,he's still betrayed his partner,and personally he'd be dumped in both circumstances.
2006-10-08 10:33:17 · answer #3 · answered by stokies 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I totally agree with you. it would be way harder to deal with your partner falling in love with someone else because you would feel unwanted and unloved, where as a one-night stand is simply a drunken mistake.
2006-10-08 08:55:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A soul mate. The thought of my husband loving someone else more than me would break me apart. There is no emotions or love involve in a one night stand, so I could eventually deal with that. But to know he is sharing a deep level of intimacy with another, I couldn't deal with that.
2006-10-08 08:46:27 · answer #5 · answered by BAnne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that both situations would be hard, but if they found someone they loved more, that would be the hardest. Most people marry without being able to carry on a conversation because the passion is there. Then, later in life, they find someone who they can actually talk to, and that is why most divorces occur. It is sad to think that people just aren't able to communicate and then find their soul-mates elsewhere. Sad, but true. So, yes, I agree with you.
2006-10-08 08:43:13 · answer #6 · answered by lizzey_in_pink 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you, you can kind of understand a one night stand but a new soul mate would be a lot harder to get over.
2006-10-08 08:51:35 · answer #7 · answered by Tara 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you, and I think you will find most of the women will because we generally think with our hearts. The men will probably agree with your male friend...because we all know what rules over their thinking...that one meaningless drunken night in bed will mean more to the men...as they are more concerned about reigning over their woman sexually than they are from the heart. Might care both ways - but whether they are man enough to admit it or not, they are going to be more upset about the one night stand.
2006-10-08 08:51:31 · answer #8 · answered by svmainus 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the thought of either is unbearable, but I have to say him finding a new soulmate is definatly alot worse because I couldn't bear it not being me. However saying that, if he was calous enough to throw away what we have together for a night of meaningless sex then maybe he was not my soulmate in the first place. Now I think about it I just don't know which is worse, i hope I never have to find out.
2006-10-08 08:45:10 · answer #9 · answered by charlotte e 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally agree with you. A one night stand is meaningless and can be forgiven, but if some one you love feels he needs someone other than you he to talk to that can can very painful, and eventually pull the relationship apart.
2006-10-08 08:50:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋