My husband is deployed right now and i have done something bad... we have been married for over 2 years and in that time we have had a gr8 marriage... he left just after we had our first baby... and he has been gone for 4 months...i have been having an affiar with a guy from work for the last month or so... and i have fallen in love with him... i have no intention of getting divorce or even telling my husband... and now i am worried of him finding out because i think i am pregnant.. please dont critisize me.. i know what i did was wrong but i need help preferably from people who have been in my shoe's or at least close to it... thanx!
2006-10-08 08:28:37 · 18 answers · asked by 01GR81 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First, find out for sure whether or not you are pregnant. Go right now and buy an EPT and find out. If you are, then at some point , you're going to have to tell your husband. If you are, or you're not, end this affair immediately....or you will be. You will have to tell your husband what you've done at some point, but while he's deployed in a war zone is hard for him to bear. The important thing is to determine pregnancy now, end the affair either way, and raise the child you now have. We've all done things we're not proud of, but what you do from here on out will determine what kind of person you are. Best of luck to you!
2006-10-08 08:43:32 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I AM TOTALLY CONFUSED!!
You have a great marriage? You want to stay with your husband? You dont want a divorce? You dont want to be honest with your husband? Dont you know that MARRIAGE is a relationship between 2 people, but you make it seem all about you. Will your hubby believe that he got you pregnant via Email? I know people make mistakes but come on now, you've been screwing this guy for over a month!! What takes the cake though is when you said " and i have fallen in love with him" Well if you love the wife stealer, why not go with him? You both kinda deserve each other. As for your " I could be pregnant?" By the time you find out if you really are pregnant, your baby will have a heartbeat. Spinal column developing at 43 days. A brain. Are you willing to actually kill your unborn baby just to hide your cheating ways? I advise you to come clean with your husband, (it can feel really great to be honest) and he may be willing to work on repairing the marriage. If not, you still have the guy on the side that you are in love with, right? If you do decide to tell your husband, at least wait until he comes home on leave. He could possibly get himself hurt over seas if he found out the news while there. Be true to yourself and your husband. He deserves the truth. Good luck!!
2006-10-08 16:27:34 · answer #2 · answered by luisa_duran2000 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My husband is not in the military but in prison and i know exactly what u r going through, see he has been gone for 2yrs and i started to get lonely and starting doing things i was not suppose to anyway, as far as u being preggers, well thats kinda of hard becuz u either tell your husband and hopefully he'll understand or dont have the baby at all and never tell your husband, i know u love your husband but crap happens sometimes and we are only human! i suggest to take it up with the Lord and ask for forgiveness and hopefully u r not pregnant and STOP! seeing that guy and every thing will work out...God Bless You and Good Luck
2006-10-08 16:26:53 · answer #3 · answered by Ari 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, I am not criticizing you, because you are human. But I do want to tell you this. When you married your husband it was for better or worse & til death do you part. It did not say only for the better and cheat when he has to go and fight for his Country and be apart! You should Love, Honor, Respect, and be Devoted to your husband, not screw around on him when he is out there fighting for Our County. I do agree with shiffercs. Instead of you being selfish and only thinking of your sexual needs and being totally unfaithful to your husband while he is overseas, you should have been thinking of the Respect, and Devotion Love & Trust, that your husband has for you, and you should have had the exact same feelings for him too. Now that you got yourself into this matter, you should let your husband, and the baby's father know the truth! And what ever happens,happens! The only person that you can blame is yourself,& yourself alone!!!!!!
2006-10-08 16:49:25 · answer #4 · answered by bigred 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all make decisions not fully thinking them through and then WHAM! reality smacks the hell out of you ---- that's where you are. If you had an affair because you are lonely and truly love your husband, pray for forgiveness, terminate the pregnancy, pray for more forgiveness and recomittment yourself to your marriage 120%. If you had the affair because you are no longer in love with your husband (regardless of whether you are in love with the man that you had the affair with or not), pray for forgiveness, terminate the pregnancy, pray for more forgiveness and walk away from the marriage. Ask yourself what you really want, then ask yourself what you really need. If you can't find most of what we need and most of what you want in the person that you are sharing our life with ----- you'll never know real happiness feels like on the inside. Everyone of us deserves happiness. However, we don't have the right to make other people unhappy in the process. Best to you!
2006-10-08 16:11:47 · answer #5 · answered by LOLA 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband's in the military as well and that's as close to being in your shoes as I'm going to get and I just don't understand the mentality of some military wives such as yourself, who has to always find a fill in everytime their husbands are away...fighting for their country. And as a military wife I am ashamed for u for being so weak. And how can u even call this little fling "love" when u know for a fact that u are only having this affair because u are so lonely?
U made your bed, u sleep on it. Tell your husband the truth and hopefully he can still find it in himself to forgive u, though I wouldn't blame him if he didn't.
2006-10-08 15:50:05 · answer #6 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so not judging you. But, I have been the one cheated on and I found out in a horrible way.
First off don't freak out until you know for sure if you are pregnant or not. Secondly, if you are in love w/ this other guy maybe you should rethink your marriage.....and lastly, no matter how difficult... honesty is the best policy. Can you live w/ the guilt of not telling him if you stay together? I know i couldn't live w/ guilt. Best of luck to you!
2006-10-08 15:44:19 · answer #7 · answered by Princess T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you think you can do?? I mean seriously, if you are pregnant, then he will know it sooner or later. Look, your husband is fighting a war and to support you, and all you care about is spreading your legs to some guy at work. Now you are asking users online for advices?? Sorry lady, no offense to you but you gotta tell him the truth.
2006-10-08 16:07:56 · answer #8 · answered by Webballs 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're a terrible woman and what's worse - you're just not in the mood to feel any shame about it. You have a family that needs you and you let them down. All for some office wonderboy!
Your husband is doing the most noble thing imaginable and you did the most dispicable thing ever.
2006-10-08 15:55:34 · answer #9 · answered by Vicki B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should break it off with this guy first and then when your husband comes home from where he is cause the pain from your affair would mess up his mind and get him shot or maybe killed. This way you have plenty of time to think out what your going to say or choose when when he does come home.
2006-10-08 15:55:19 · answer #10 · answered by John H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋