My husband and I are getting a divorce. He started a new bank account without telling me and has had his checks deposited to the other account. Should I get a lawyer now or should I hope that this is the ony secretive thing he has done? What would you do?
2006-10-08 08:23:54 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, you SHOULD get a lawyer in the morning! Don't be naive and think that he's going to "do right" by you. Where money and power are concerned, people will do all sorts of ruthless things.Protect yourself!
2006-10-08 08:30:53 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My ex husband did the same thing and for the most part our divorce was amicable. This way he had his account and I kept the other and he just took his name off. I would go a head and get an attorney now though because you have the kids. If he isn't giving you anything towards them then an attorney can help get child support started before you go to court. Just remember when you are going through the divorce that before you do anything ask yourself is it something your kids can be proud of you for or will it be something to hurt them more than they already are. And never no matter what say anything in hearing range of the kids as they will pick up on it and might take it the wrong way.
2006-10-08 09:36:56 · answer #2 · answered by Martha S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most divorces unless it is contested by one party or the other arent ugly. In fact its usually the other way around. Most contested divorces come from a party not wanting the divorce at all, so this party gives the other party wanting the divorce a really hard time concerning everything whether kids are involved or not. Most try to work out the details before going to court to make it easier on all especially the kids. Unless there are charges of child or drug/mental abuse on the mother she is usually awarded custody with support and the house and possibly spousal support. His new bank account will have to be disclosed in divorce court unless he perjures himself which is the worst thing he could do. Honesty is the best thing in a divorce court so if he wants to hide anything finances especially and the judge finds out by you, the judge will just love your husband to death. He will have to fill out a discovery sheet for the court for support amount to be determined.. You dont necessarily need an atty if he has one. Let his atty do all the work at his cost, and all you have to do is show up in court either contesting or agreeing at your exs expense. Just dont sign anything until you fully understand and agree totally with it. Your states legal aid assoc will help you if needbe. Good luck
2006-10-08 10:04:27 · answer #3 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in the process of divorcing as well. So far it's not ugly and I was the one with another bank account although it was not a secret. Thankful for that account now because it's only mine. Anyway, if you are concerned, you probably should get an attorney. I'm ready just to have someone do all paperwork for me. There is so much more involved than I thought. Good luck!
2006-10-08 08:40:29 · answer #4 · answered by magpie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think when kids are involved it will always get ugly. Your going to have to deal with another woman being around your children and possibly him dealing with someone you might date. Having to settle on child support, custody and anything of value that will have to be split. Its such a headache! My husband and i separated for a year, we have one child and tried to have a good
relationship after. We were so miserable dealing with everything we decide to work things out. Your husband is already starting off on the wrong foot by keeping things from you. I wouldn't hire a lawyer yet. But you should talk to him about keeping stuff from you. When i say talk i mean talk, men get offended and angry easily if not approached the right way.
2006-10-08 08:35:41 · answer #5 · answered by Laura J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, biblically divorce is a sin. But honey, God does not wish you to be dull approximately it both. Your husband is detrimental like this. It's no longer riskless for you. Trust me, it's going to get no larger except he will get a few aid, like anger leadership. Even then, that does not paintings at all times. Is your husband a believer additionally? I'd say no, because he is doing this to you and this is not what a Christian guy is taught. I bought out of mine considering the fact that I felt like God was once offering me from this. I made a mistake (married a non believer), considering I would difference him. I positioned God final within the marriage and it failed considering the fact that of me being in manage alternatively of letting God lead me. After I filed for divorce, I learned my husband additionally dedicated adultery, which allow me recognise I was once doing the correct factor. Biblically, it additionally says as soon as I am divorced, I will have to no longer remarry once more. I stayed unmarried for 15 years, prayed approximately it everyday. God despatched to me the person I was once SUPPOSED to marry, a person that God gave His advantages on, a believer, a well guy. This is how it will have to were. Do I consider I am sinning now? No. We are all human, none folks are ultimate. But God forgives you for those who make an apology. So, I want you several advantages. Some well supply of studying, I might learn all of the Psalms and Romans (Chapter thirteen is well). I will say a precise prayer for you. Just recognise so long as you hold to hope and skim the phrase, God might be with you consistently. Even within the hardest of occasions.
2016-08-29 06:01:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a Lawyer! They'll think of things you might be too upset to consider in protecting yourself. It doesn't mean you plan to be a b**ch about things. Everybody gets divorced for different reasons. As long as you don't HATE each other, you should be able to work together in the kids' best interest.
My ex and I still cooperate in matters of our kids. If one of my girls calls me up about something their Mom said "no" to, I back my ex up %100, but also give my own reasons so it's not just "they're mean ol' mom" saying "no". If I say "yes" to something mom has reservations about, then she and I discuss it and reach a compromise.
Bottom line: amicable divorces can be a reality if both of you are committed to the kid's best interest.
2006-10-08 11:09:18 · answer #7 · answered by zavarob 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mostly likely he is getting advice from an outside source, be it lawyer or friend. I would certainly get a lawyer and file FIRST. You get to decide how things will be split or arranged. If he wants to dispute it, he will have to retain a lawyer (at the cost of about $1500-$2000) to dispute those arrangements. File now, but be reasonable or this will drag on and on! Treat him how you would want to be treated. The kids are the ones who suffer the most when grown ups fight
2006-10-08 10:04:53 · answer #8 · answered by Lesleann 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a lawyer, getting his own bank account would come eventually, but he should have told you. So that tells me that he'll play dirty to get what he wants. you have rights too. your lawyer can advise you of them.
2006-10-08 08:29:03 · answer #9 · answered by Nikki B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally would get a lawyer but that doesn;t mean it will get ugly but it is better to protect yourself.
2006-10-08 08:26:11 · answer #10 · answered by R C 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋