A family member and close friend of mine married the wrong man (he cheated before and after marriage and is an all around jerk). She had a child too soon (because he was the wrong man to marry, much less have a child with him). Now I know she is miserable (she wears her wedding ring sometimes) and has been married for almost 6 years. I know she's with him for the money. Neither of them are rich but with combined income she can afford a lifestyle that would certainly change if she left. My mother says I am not a good friend since I never told her how I felt. I don't like to offer unsolicited advice because women rarely take that advice and will hold your concern for their well being against you. Is it wrong to not say anything? I am happily married and I wouldn't want her to think I am just trying to break her marriage up.
2006-10-08 08:00:45 · 5 answers · asked by GreenEyedSista 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
if this is a very good friend of yours, sit her down and have a nice open conversation about it...she will tell you how she feels about the situation, and depending on what she says this will determine how much you can go off on her worthless husband...
2006-10-08 08:06:37 · answer #1 · answered by eazylee711 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel as you do in that ppl don't like unasked for opinions because that is what advice is based on - our opinions... I think you are being a good friend to stand by her even in her misery... lots of folks forsake even family members when they do not behave as they expect them to... what might help this woman is a bit of psychological guidance to help determine why she is content with being miserable but that too is an opinion and hard to share... I have come to accept that some folks are content to lie in even a short-sheeted bed as long as they have a bed, yanno? Bottom line, it's not wrong not to tell because it's your opinion that it's a mistake... and even if it IS a mistake, it's hers and hers alone to realize and correct
2006-10-08 15:11:46 · answer #2 · answered by dornalune 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not wrong for keeping your opinion to yourself. It would only end your so-called friendship. In due time, her misery will be a choice for her to decide (whether continue living on a champagne diet or a beer budget).
2006-10-08 15:15:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really don't think you saying anything would have changed anything. All you would have been doing is giving her your opinion, and that may have offended her & made her mad at you. She knows the situation she is in, if she wants out she can leave. Please don't feel that you have any responsibility there at all.
2006-10-08 15:08:18 · answer #4 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is MORE aware of her situation then you are, and apparently, for whatever reason, is content to stay in it. So, to answer your question, yes, it would be wrong to tell her....she already knows!
2006-10-08 15:08:31 · answer #5 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋