How do you gain more Confidence?

Question

When life has not been very good, it really knocks your confidence, and i just have no idea how to be happy, it's got to start i think with being more confident, i am working full time, got my own place, and own car, people say the right woman will come alone one day, i am beging to wonder, i know it's not my looks, been told,

Answer 1

Hi Staff,

You're absolutely right. Life - especially when something negative impacts you - can knock down your self-confidence. Take comfort in knowing that it happens to ALL of us :).

It sounds like you have a lot of positives going for you in your life yet the one thing that you're kind of narrowing in on is "the right woman". My philosophy has always been (and I've been married now for 16 years to the same man) that there is no one "right person". There are probably many right people and it's just a question of opportunity.

What are you doing to get yourself out in social situations to meet women? I would recommend things like joining a team of some sorts (bowling, softball, chess league, etc..) - something that interests you.

Also, (and I don't know how to accurately verbalize this), when you're not "looking", that's when opportunities seem to come a person's way. In other words, put yourself in situations to meet people (and women ;) ) but don't do something thinking that it will all lead up to meeting the "right woman". Be casual - don't look at things as all black or white.

Trust me - you'll find someone that makes your heart flutter and vice versa :).

Answer 2

When life has not been very good you loose your confidence because you think that you have lost. The easiest way to start gaining confidence is a good workout, when your body feels confortable, you get confortable with your mental staff. If you make up a list of your losses in life it might take a while but I guess if you do the same with your achievements and success and other things that you take for granted, you might discover that you have more than you think. I am not saying you should sit on your a*ss thinking of how great you are but thinking of what is good is your life is what makes one feel good. Seeing those who loved you and appreciated you is not a bad idea either. You may have a talent that you have forgotten or dont' know about. You may have somethign that you would like to do iin your life, a holiday somewhere exotic, or something that you've been thinking of doing but never got to, now it maybe the time. are you happy with your job or would you consider a move or a complete change? the right woman might or might not land in your lap, you sometimes have to go looking for things to find them.
Bad experiences are a way of getting an experience, there will be at least one thing that you will find useful in your future, and then believe you or not, you'll be happy you have the knowledge.
And one more thing. The grass is always greener on the other side of the hill.

Answer 3

Life is what it is. You have to make the best of it. Being happy starts with liking yourself and being happy with yourself. If you can't do that then your not going to be happy with anything else that goes on in life.
Looks don't have much to do with it when you don't have self confidence. If you are not confident with yourself then how do you expect others to find you confident?
Go out have fun be yourself and see what it brings you.
Don't wonder when and if that right person will come along, just realize that maybe right now in life its not the time for that person to find you.
You would be surprised that if you aren't looking is when someone perfect comes along. Let them find you!
I wish you luck. Its a long road in life, but it does get better....

Answer 4

I am 43 and still waiting for the right man to come along. I have found happiness in the things I do. I coach Special Olympics and that gives me a great deal of confidence and inspiration. I volunteer with my church youth group. They appreciate all that I do for them and give compliments freely. I keep a list on my refrigerator of activities I love to do and do well. I try to participate in one of these activities daily. That builds a positive self-esteem and keeps me happy. You're already off to a great start. You just need to find a reason to believe in yourself and be happy with who you are. You can also change the aspects of your life that don't make you happy.

Answer 5

1 way is to not to care so much about what other people think. then, focus on what makes u happy and do. part of my problem was always caring what others thought. more than 1 time I've been shot down or told i should or shouldn't do this or that and it always made me second guess myself which made me think my ideas were stupid or something or there was no way i get ever do this or that. another good way is to start working out and get in shape. nothing makes your confidence more powerful than a good body. you'll then feel good about yourself most of the time. hpoe this helps it did me.

Answer 6

A great book to read is the classic self help book "Feeling Good" by David D. Burns, M.D or his other one 10 days to self esteem. Basically, you are as happy and confident as you choose to be. Another good one is "Im ok, you're ok" Many times your negative beliefs about yourself are pure illusions. Make a list of what you have accomplished, of what you are grateful for. Make a list of goals for yourself. Take some steps and truthfully recognize your abilities and strengths.

Answer 7

Be social and friendly to all. I suggest everyone to have self respect. you have to find happiness and like find happiness in helping helpless people. This is an example. Getting a Job and get someone, it does not mean that this is not how your life ends. Contentment is death and then you'll find no happiness. At every problem you'll find a new success with a little happiness.

Answer 8

Just imagine that you could flip a switch and you could become confident whenever you needed to be?

What would your life be like?

What would you be able to accomplish?

All these thoughts are associated with true heart of mind and your determination to execute them and enforce it.

Answer 9

May be you are too shy to talk with ladies about luv.IF you cant do it yourself,tell your friend aboout it and show him the the girl that you luv that you want to marry,tell him to aid you.Or talk to the lady by yourself.To get confidence wach this movie titled YELLOW CARD, at www.mainframe.com.when you finish whatching it you will get the confidence to speck to ladies about luv.

Answer 10

When you walk always walk as if you are 10 feet tall, positive thinking is best. try it you will thank me one day, good luck