Long story short- I am a ftm transsexual, I told my dad, he just thinks I am a lesbian for some reason, and I cannot seem to get it though his head I am not, even though I am only attracted to guys, which he does not believe...
2006-10-08 07:21:54 · 19 answers · asked by James 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I would suggest contacting PFLAG for some literature, they should have information/literature on the difference between transsexual and homosexual for your father.
If you're comfortable, you might want to sit him down and explain in very basic sentences that gender is who you are as a person, but orientation is who you are attracted to. A person can be of any gender, their basic mental state is male, female or neither... this may or may not coordinate with their physical body.
A person can also be attracted to the same gender or the opposite gender, or both, or neither... but who they are sexually attracted to has nothing to do with what gender they feel they are.
Maybe find an explaination of this online, print it out, and give it to him to read?
2006-10-08 07:27:10 · answer #1 · answered by Kiari 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
So you want to become a gay man? And he thinks you are a lesbian? Even though you don't fancy women?
The chances are your dad is, I'm sorry to say, stupid.
However, I think you should be able to find some literature on the matter for him to read.
I do undestand why he finds it hard. You are, at the moment, effectively straight, which, in many people's eyes, is ideal.
However, I think, with time, he will get it. First thing to focus on is explaining that you don't feel right in your body as a female. Go to lots of therapy to convince him, and the nhs, that you are right about your decision.
The fact that you will then be trying to date men will be another hurdle. As a straight man, he can't understand why you would want to date a man.
Perhaps you should play down the fact that you are going to be a gay man until he is used to you being male at all. There is no reason for him to know really until you have a bf who you want to introduce to your family. He might not object too much by then, as he probably always imagined having a son-in-law anyway...
I can't claim to know what it is like to feel like you are the wrong sex, but I'm sure you know yourself. Good luck!
2006-10-09 04:05:27 · answer #2 · answered by helen g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it is very difficult to get through to older people t the best of times.
It is like trying to get them to understand the difference between six and half a dozen isn't it.
Clearly you are not a lesbian but a woman who wants to become a Homosexual, you absolutely sure you understand the difference between reality and fantasy,
Have you thought this through, there can be few blokes who fancy a woman who wants to roger their backside, why not just accept that sex aint all its cracked up to be and join the WI or a Choir or take up trainspotting, although why they always organise railtours to places with red light areas possibly suggests the hobby aint as boring as might be imagined
2006-10-08 15:01:21 · answer #3 · answered by "Call me Dave" 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
say to him a lesbian is the same as being gay. they both find they are sexually attracted to the same gender. but a transsexual is a person who has obviously change there gender by surgery. they do this because mentally they feel that they are naturally a woman inside a mans body or a man in a woman's body. they have to feel whats right for them, so in cases they have sex change. or they are just mentally confused. Conclusion. being gay/lesbian is not a choice, and being a transsexual is a choice. stick that in his pipe and smoke it. lol
2006-10-08 07:31:06 · answer #4 · answered by Joseph H 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If he thinks your a lesbian, why doesn't he believe your attracted to girls(Or is it he hopes your bi and like some girls too?)
Personally, being a multi-open sexual person, I know that calling myself bi, pre-opt mtf, or anything like this, is like calling my dinner delicious before I taste it. making that decision is your own, and I applaud you for living your life your way.
If you need your father to understand, write him everything your confused about in yourself. Dont expect his answers, just let him know you want him to know. As a father myself, I might not be happy with everything my children choose, but I'd rather hear about every terrible experience he went through, then know he gave up on me.
which reminds me, I eally should let my dad know my latest err's.. hugz
2006-10-08 07:30:13 · answer #5 · answered by Shelli_k18 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Parents don't understand any thing about the children's sexualities even if it is explained in black and white, i ware a tie from time to time and now my mom swares I'm a lesbian. It's just best to get over it and go about your buisness.
2006-10-08 07:26:19 · answer #6 · answered by sucrosan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Explain to him the difference between sexual orientation and gender identity. I struggle with similar stuff when I tell people that I'm MTF and lesbian.
2006-10-08 16:57:23 · answer #7 · answered by carora13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's going to need to accept it in bite sized chunks. Don't worry that he's not getting it. He's old and has a fixed view of the world.
Once he accepts your gender change, then you can work on explaining the rest of it. Trying to understand it all at once is probably overloading him.
2006-10-08 08:08:34 · answer #8 · answered by it 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
transexuality and Lesbian are two different things. The person who has changed his/her sex by operation like male become female or vice versa is called transexual. On the other hand the female who practice sex with female is called Lesbian. The male who practice sex with male is called Gay.
2006-10-08 17:37:38 · answer #9 · answered by digendra 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't get you...so you're a FtM Transsexual ttracted to men...what does that have to do with lesbianism, you don't like girls?!
To me you're straight. a woman loving men. You just prefer to be a man. and thatfor "snip snap" your body and make it artificially male.
2006-10-09 06:19:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋