my frnd is worrying me?

Question

in class one day she got annoyed at something and she scatched at her arm with a pen lid until she'd taken off a lot of skin she said it made her feel better and she does it a lot. i got at her for it but she said it was nothing to worry about 'its not like like shes cutting herself with a blade or summit' shes only 14 and in an overbering relationship and has very overbearing parents ive asked her to stop it but she doesnt seem to be listening what should i do?

Answer 1

You need to talk to a teacher who you can trust and they could have a word with her..they could say they saw her doing it they wont say you told on her...she needs professional help and it is too much for you to cope with on your own..just keep being a good friend to her.

Answer 2

It sound like your friend has not developed adequate coping mechanisms, which may be a result of a turbulent home life. People who self harm tend to do so because it is a way of being in control, the pain acts as a distraction from the true problem. I strongly suggest you encourage your friend to seek help, this may be from her parents, or of this is difficult then she could try the school counsellor if you have one. Although your friend is not causing herself any significant damage she is creating a cycle that will be difficult to stop, as this cycle continues it is likely that she WILL begin to use blades. Your friend is fortunate to have a friend like you who looks out for her and is not afraid to challenge her behaviour. This support could make all the difference to your friend, particularly if she has problems at home. However you are only a child yourself and you shouldn't feel as though you are responsible for her behaviour. You can't force her to seek help but there are people out there who can help her and it is important she realises this. The following sites may be of some use:

http://www.selfharm.org.uk/default.aspa

http://www.recoveryourlife.com/

http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Booklets/Understanding/Understanding+self-harm.htm

Answer 3

I just to self harm myself so i know how it felt when the first bit of pain came but like you i had a gr8 frnd if it wasn't for her then i dnt know how far i wld have went its a release from everything shes not accepting the fact she got a prob you going to c someome b4 she goes to far but not her mum if she feels they are 2 overbearing is there you could speak 2 for the both of use as this will b hard for you to cope with as well that wae she n alone her frnd there all the wae good luck

Answer 4

I dont have a lot of experiance with this, but i am trying to see it from your point of view if it was my friend. Firstly, the fact she is doing it in public is better then doing it behind closed doors. There are lots of people who harm themselves, and not all for the sam reason. Is there anyone at ur school, like a nurse or a teacher who u can feel comfortable talking to. This way they could monitor ur friend during school time, and also have a word with parents and find what the cause is, and offer help.

Answer 5

First problem is at 14 isn't a wise decision to be in a relationship that is overbearing. If your friend is hurting herself you should tell someone like a counselor since her parents aren't on her favorite people list. She needs help and if she doesn't get it, it may advance to cutting if it hasn't already. Stick in there and be supportive.

Best Wishes!!

Answer 6

self harm is a psychological occurence that results from some sort of trauma. Sounds like the poor kid's stressed out and is feeling overwhelmed. The best thing you can do is gently address the issue rather than tell her further what else she's doing wrong. She really doesn't need that.

Answer 7

something is making her self harm....talk to her teacher if she has overbearing parents...then the teacher will contact her parents and find out whats happening in her home and tell the teacher what she's doing to her yourself and tell them that it's worrying you..she may have an underlying problem that no one knows about...you don't self harm for no reason...she needs help

Answer 8

you should be worrid about her try talking to her parents and tell them what she is doing or a teacher at school who you no she gets on with see if they could talk to her.
something needs to be done as she is not currently cutting herself but if left she will most probally get worse and will start to use blades.
when she is at home suggest that she squeezes an ice cube as it still gives the pain but does no harm. she is causing herself pain as she believes she deserves it as she has been bad.
MAKE SURE SHE GETS HELP!!!!
good luck

Answer 9

Its called self harming in england? my friend used to do it she had to see a phsyciatrist hope thats spelt right it was because of a situation she was in and she couldnt handel it,, there might be summat going on in the home front or somthing to pianful might of happened to her but she feels she carnt confide in any1 may be her trust as gone because of whats happened to her? try talk to her if you get no joy go to her parents but try be tacktful as some parents dont understand selfharming they think its attention seeking ;) good luck hugs

Answer 10

until she admits she has a problem theres not a lot you can do just be a good friend and be there for her and keep a close eye on her. if it starts to get worse it needs dealing with could you not mention this to one of your parents for advice on how to help her? at the end of the day it could be nothing to worry about