Funeral question - I need an opinion: Is this tacky or not?

Question

My husband's grandmother died last night.

Today, as my husband and I were making arrangements to send flowers for the funeral, my mother-in-law called and told us that the poor dead woman's daughters have decided that in lieu of flowers, they just want cash!! Not money to be donated to a worthy cause, but rather just money outright in their pockets (funeral arrangements were pre-made & paid for in advance).

We think this is exceptionally offensive and rather tacky of them (like this is just a way to get money for their "grief"). What's your opinion?

Answer 1

VERY TACKY!!!!!! If they were setting up a charity or something it would be different. But, it sounds like they are just greedy....and it shows a lot about their character - UGLY! I would pay respect to her by giving her flowers or something personal to her, not by giving the daughters money!

Answer 2

I have never heard of anyone just asking for cash at a funeral. I have heard people ask for donations to a certain charity instead of flowers. I would say it is tacky and I would send flowers anyway.

Answer 3

My Goodness! That is so TACKY! In my opinion either send flowers anyway or if your husband's grandmother was a religious women have a mass or service said in her name. You can contact the church and ask that your would like a service or mass dedicated to her. Another option is to still take the money you would spend in flowers and still make a donation to a charity in her name. It is what you think your husband's grandmother would want, not what her daughters want.

Answer 4

I know someone that went to a funeral of a child, where everyone wore something yellow, because it was his favourite colour. I think it's good when everyone doesn't just wear black. I personally would hate to think people were fussing over what to wear at my funeral. Don't turn up in bright pink if everyone else is wearing black, but perhaps suggest to the funeral organisers it would be nice to wear the deceased's favourite colour? It brings a celebration of their life to the day, not just a comiseration about their death. It shows there's thought, & that you care. However, clown outfits, jeans, scruffy clothes are not acceptable. You have to pay a little respect. Also, don't dress down too much, you don't want to offend anyone. In summary, just play the field, see what everyone else is doing, & concentrate on who died & remembering them. That's what the whole service is about, after all.

Answer 5

Wow, that is very tacky. I have never heard of people doing that? Just send the flowers out of respect for your husband's grandmother.

Answer 6

I think it's tacky, too. However, you have a few options: go ahead and send flowers, donate to a charity in the deceased's name, or give a donation to her church. I would prefer the donation method myself. Anyone who finds anything wrong with that is just being selfish and even tackier.

Answer 7

Very tacky, I wouldn`t send a thing.

Answer 8

Ignore them , your right that is extremely tacky!!! I would buy a ridiculous amount of flowers. People are weird when someone dies.
My father-in-law died last Aug and my husbands Grandmother sued us for the last five years worth of things she had bought him ( air conditioner, computer desk, clothes, shower curtain, cleaning supplies ) it all totaled around $ 56,000 no joke! We ended up giving her $40,000. It amazes me how money can "help" with the grief of losing a loved one.

Answer 9

They are doing it these days, a lot of grave sites you can't put the flowers their, so what they are doing is Giving money to the love one favorite charity, or your charity, in memory of your Grand-mom. and you can right it off your taxes. So it is not tacky, it is the in thing!

Answer 10

Very tacky!!! You could just by single red roses to toss in the grave.