How do you know if the anger in a marriage has gone too far?

Question

I have been married to my husband for almost 11 years and in that time he has gotten progressively worse when it comes to his angery outbursts. Its hard to deal with now that we've brought our three year old daughter into the picture. He works many hours and he only gets one day a week off *Sunday* and it seems that for all the time we spend apart, the one day we get together we should be getting a long and being happy but we typically end up fighting or he's angry about something. I have left him once over the situation and asked him to seek counseling or even to talk to someone close but he refused. He got on meds and that seemed to help but now he's going back to his old ways again. When do you finally say, enough is a enough and throw in the towel? I am starting to question whether I even love him anymore and if I want to deal with this either. What do you think?

Answer 1

I think you should take action before it is too late.
It sounds like your husband is working too much. If he is under a lot of stress at work he will be hard pressed to find energy and patience for you and the child. Perhaps a change in vocation is what your family needs.
If talking with your husband doesn't help try writing him a letter. If that fails then you may need to move out, but with the hope of coming to an agreement with him in the future and saving your family. For your little girl's sake if for no one elses. She deserves a mommy and a daddy.
Sometimes it takes leaving him for a man to see just how serious you are, but try other methods first as leaving will be traumatic for the entire family.
It is too much if they become verbally or physical, or emotionally abusive. You need to learn about these forms of abuse and how to protect yourself and your daughter from them, and even how to avoid dishing them out yourself. So I suggest seek help for you. Sometimes all you can do is learn better coping skills and educate yourself. Self help usually radiates out and helps others as well. Your daughter and eventually even your husband would benefit from you seeking help for yourself first.

I wish you peace and blessings in whatever you decide to do.

Answer 2

My husband is the same way. He has frequent angry outbursts. It's like he's angry at the world. I suggested counseling but he refuses to seek help. Over the years it has gotten worse. So I've decided to leave. Life is too short to live this way. Good luck to you.

Answer 3

i'ld say leave before it escalate into violence ( which it usally does ) , and leave quickly
hopefully he does not own any firearms
you've seen the news
one day a guy loses it and shoot's everyone, children included
it happen where i used to live i nthe next city over
a guy had been arguing with his wife, from all accounts from the neighbors it was getting worse, they had been married about 12 years, she was going ot file for divorce
then one night after work, he shot his wife in the head, his son in the head, his daughter in the chest, and then himself in the head ( they always kill themselves in the end ), noly the duaghter survived and she was adopted by her grandparents and live 2 street overs from where i lived. she was too young ot know what has happened and one day the sad reality of it all will be told to her.

Answer 4

well you married better or for worse maybe he needs some stronger melds i know I'm on meds and if i don't have mine i cant handle stress and i have to have them upped cause you're body gets immuned to them after a while maybe this is what hes going thru

Answer 5

I he is abusive leave now. otherwise couples counseling should help even is you go by yourself. Check to see it he is still taking his meds

Answer 6

I have a husband who works seven days a week third shift so I know how you feel......maybe you need to tell your husband how you feel