i need help?

Question

i love my baby to bits but i dont feel i can cope with him he is 9 months and such a handfull i dont know what to do with him i am close to tears a lot of the time when i am left alone i have been to the doctors and they dont seem to think i have post natel depression what should i do

adoption is not an answer i love my baby o bits

Answer 1

You must keep asking for professional help from your doctor or clinic. A nurse might be more sympathetic than the doctor. All of us who've struggled with young babies know how you feel and sympathise. Meanwhile, make sure you have a break now and again by asking friends, relatives, and neighbours to babysit - or if you can afford it, use a nanny or a creche. Get in touch with other young mums and swap stories! See if your local church or leisure centre has a young mums' group. Try to remember, too, that babies and toddlers go through phases, and whatever difficult behaviour he is showing at the moment won't last. good luck! P.S. I've just looked thru the other answers and there are some really stupid ones - all given low ratings - please ignore them!

Answer 2

First of all, I would definitely seek a second or third Dr.'s opinion! Also you may try some support groups in your area, check with your county offices for resources or check on line. Parenting classes may also help. Do you come from a large family or maybe you are an only child or just one or two siblings? Sometimes mothers from small families or those that are the only child have a hard time knowing how to handle parenthood. Just try to relax and take things one day, one thing at a time. Don't overwhelm yourself. I really believe if you can just relax and develop the attitude of "what is, is" and learn to let your enjoyment of your child overcome your worries and stresses things may go easier. Being a parent is a 24-7 job for the next 18years at least! Of course, you are going to worry and be stressed over making the right decisions but if you remember that your child and his welfare is your main concern it will come easier. However, by all means try to work out some time with a relative or friend to watch your child---say an hour or two each week to give you time for just you. To pamper yourself, take a nap, read a book or whatever gives you pleasure. I strongly urge you though to seek other opinions concerning the post natal depression because there are all kinds of symptoms and behaviors associated with it and maybe your Doctor just isn't up to date regarding the issue!

Answer 3

It doesn't matter what ages your child is, this can happen to anyone at any time. Try and plan your days so that you always have a trip out once a day, even if its to get a pint of milk. Find some mother and baby groups, there is no limit as to how many you go to. If you know your going to be on your own then invite a friend round for coffee. Sometimes even having an hour away from your child makes all the difference. I go swimming once a week whilst my mum looks after my daughter and its great.I come back relaxed, have spent time with my mum(they are great listeners too) and I rush back to see my daughter. Everyone needs a friend and help at some time, your not alone.
Goodluckxxxxxxxxxxx

Answer 4

Go back to the doctors but speak to a different doctor this time. Try to join a mother & toddler group, take the baby swimming, go to the park, walks - anything to get you out of the house and keep busy. Maybe a member of your family or a friend could take the baby for a little while to give you a break. And finally - some people dont realise how hard it can be with a young child but remember it will get better.

Answer 5

I don't know how old you are but am assuming that you are quite young. I had my first child at the ripe old age of 33 and it was still a very difficult transition, so you are not alone. You obviously love your baby and want to be a good mother but are overwhelmed. You need to try to get some help so that you can be energized when you are with the baby. Ask a friend, family member or a teenage girl whom you trust to give you a break once in a while. Take a bubble bath, drink some tea, read a magazine and try to forget your responsibilities even for a little while. I know this is easier said than done, but you need to be healthy and happy yourself before you can care for your little one. Good luck.

Answer 6

You are not the only one to have felt like this. Parenting can sometimes be overwhelming. First, I would go to a different doctor and get a second opinion. Post Partum depression can happen anytime within the first year.
Second, try to get a routine down with your baby. Doing the same things at the same time everyday seems to help you feel more in control of things. It doesn't have to be a strict schedule, but some kind of outline. Active kids really do well with that.
Or maybe try to go out of the house with him on days that are nice. Going to the park, the mall, a friends house, or just a walk around the block always helped when my kids were babies. (plus the fresh air seems to help them sleep better that evening).
Also, try to get as much sleep at night as you can. If he is your only child, then lay down and rest when he naps. Sometimes being tired makes everything seem overwhelming.
But, be sure to go back to the doctor.
I promise it will get better as he gets older! Good luck to you!

Answer 7

I would have to disagree with your doctor. PND effects people in different ways. From one extreme to the other. My baby was also about 9 months old when I was diagnosed with it. The bond with the baby wasn't the problem, it was with everyone else. I felt sad, trapped not wanting to go out but at the same time wanted freedom to do whatever I wanted. Is hard to put into words. I was always maternal and wanted a baby so much so it hit me hard that I suddenly wanted to turn back the clock. But I never regretted it at the same time. Talk to your friends and family and your partner. It helps to talk and also try to get some counselling. Having to care for a baby is tough work, physically and emotionally. Maybe consider having your baby minded for a day or two. Get some time on your own to find yourself again. I hope everything starts to get better for you. Good luck

Answer 8

Definitely get a second opinion this sounds like classic post natal depression don't let the doctors fob you off with saying its just the baby blues this could be very serious and remember your not alone feeling this way many women all over the world suffer with this at some point.

Answer 9

It sounds like you do have post-natel depression, i have 7 children and this happened to me on my 2nd, i didnt recieve help untill my baby was 11 months old and it took a year for me to fully recover, get as much help as you can, do people offer to take him off your hands for a while (NAN AUNTS ETC)
if so, let them, as when he returns you will of missed him and then enjoy having him back, get him in to a routine at bedtime so you get time just for your self to relax and wind down, most of all see another docter, demand a second opion.
You will get through this, it will not last forever and it will make you stronger, good luck.

Answer 10

sometimes life gets too much and you get to feel you cant cope its very demanding being a mum and emotionally it can take its toll on you do you have a partner or family to help you if not i would suggest changing doctors and going for a second op pinon you could be run down and that is why you feel maybe you cant cope i have 2 children who are older and some days they have me in tears and i feel i cant cope also try talking to other parents about this or join a group I'm sure your not the only person in the world that feels like this and maybe talking to another parent will help you take care