me and my kids dad don't have any established visitation. he has made no attempt to see them in the last two yrs, now he since they take child support out of his check he wants to see them. he lives four hrs away. and he gets up and moves whenever he feels like it so i don't want to send them that far away from me. i don't get all the child support i'm supposed to get so i can't afford to take them to see him. do i even have to let him see them? i am now married to a great guy that the kids love and call him dad becouse he's the only dad they have known. he is the one who has been supporting them.
2006-10-08 03:50:37 · 18 answers · asked by mommy_dearest 2 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
Unless he has visitation rights set up you would not be breaking any contracts with the courts. If he is serious enough about seeing his kids and wanting to be a dad he would spend the money on court and set up visitation rights. I do feel a father should help out with the child. If the parents are divorced or seperated I do feel child support should come into play if the father is not helping willingly.
If he is not serious about establishing a relationship with the kids then I think you should offer him to sign them over and drop child support. He would probably agree if he doesnt care about them. Just allow him to try if he really wants to try. At least give him that once... sometimes people make mistakes.. but.. if hes not willing to try then go for it all.
I wish you all the best. I know it will be a hard road to go through and can be stressful. Good luck to you all.
And to the user Mendi8... You are a moron! I hope you dont have children and I hope you never will if you talk like that.
(Dont confuse them?????) What kind of answer is that to a father and a step father.... I hope you are young and did not understand the question...
2006-10-08 03:59:29 · answer #1 · answered by Keith Perry 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I thought some of the other answers on this question were INSANE, just so you know. Visitation has NOTHING to do with paying child support. He is NOT paying to see the kids. That's ridiculous and borderline offensive. However, having said that, I imagine your kids' dad could successfully sue for visitation unless there is something seriously wrong with him (like he's a convicted rapist). The family court judge will help sort out if he gets some visitation, and determine who has to drive where and how often. Yes, it sucks that this dead beat is going to be in your life, but it is possible he will ultimately benefit your children's life, in ways you don't yet realize. I doubt it will really affect your kids' relationship with their "dad" if he has been a great guy to them. Don't worry about that. There is never too much love for kids.
The bottom line is that family courts are using the standard of what is in the best interest for the kids, so if there is nothing too dreadfully wrong with this guy, they very well might give him some visitation. Don't let these other people tell you it is about the money - because it is not.
2006-10-08 12:25:10 · answer #2 · answered by swirlygirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Goodness, in just been two years and your kids are calling somebody else dad. That is fast.
Your ex, has every legal right to see your kids. Your referring to the number of times he moves, and money issues, etc. But do you have a concern about the well being of your children in his custody? That really is the big question.
Basically, visitation has nothing to do with child support. If you want to settle custody and visitation disputes take it to the courts. You must file for full custody of your children if that is what you want. Then you both can go before a judge in argue reasoning, and visitation issues. Because honestly when it comes to issues like this its 3 stories and only one is the truth.
2006-10-08 11:28:06 · answer #3 · answered by eyeamatrip 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Visitation is usually established when the child support is established. If it wasn't, he can go to court and get visitation rights, and there won't be anything you can do about it. It won't be up to you to "let him" have visitation if he has a court order. Unless you want to violate the court order. He is their father, and he has rights as far as the court grants them. What you can do is try to regulate the visitation as to where, when and for how long, especially since he lives so far away. The child's best interest will always be taken into consideration.
2006-10-08 11:02:13 · answer #4 · answered by Bad Kitty! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You must allow him visitation if he is paying for the privledge. I have no clue what your relationship is or was like, but before you try to make him pay emotionally as well as financially please remember that your children are caught in the middle of a battle that they DO NOT NEED TO BE PUT IN! They are kids and in their understanding of the world they often feel they are the cause of your grief. Think about them and not yourself. Also have they been given the right to see their Grandparents on the father's side. Divorce rarely included people who have come to love children who can at any moment be jerked away from them. More and more Grandparents are filing with the court to restore their visitation rights. Don't use the children as a weapon!
2006-10-08 11:06:16 · answer #5 · answered by humanrayc 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would drive 1000 miles a week to see my kids and pay whatever it takes, if he isn't willing to then you should listen to caly925 and drop the child support and have the new guy adopt them. it will be better for the kids in the long run.
2006-10-08 11:01:47 · answer #6 · answered by Texan Pete 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you dont have to let him see you kids he has to have a court order so if you dont want the kids to see their dad you dont have to. sounds like he wont have the money any time soon either since he moves so much plus he doesnt even send all the money hes supposed to anyway
2006-10-08 10:57:50 · answer #7 · answered by Kelly D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, by law you have to let him see them, and you both would have to at least drive half way to meet and give him the kids and so on. all you need to do is contact a agency that deals with child support laws and visitation laws. and no, he dont by law, have to see his kids at all, you cannot force visitation, only child support.
2006-10-08 10:55:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Always do what is best for the kids. The best thing is to contact an attorney who specialises in family law in your state. Unless he signs over parental rights he does by law have right to see them.
2006-10-08 10:59:31 · answer #9 · answered by parrothead2371 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes if you accept his support for them, you are legally bound to let him see them. Now because you dont have a establish visitation and you have custody, you have the upper hand. You dont have to take them to him, if he wants to see them he will travel to whereever they are. Dont let him bluff you. His support is unwilling sounds like and if he pushes it in court he will probably lose.
2006-10-08 10:54:17 · answer #10 · answered by roamin70 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋