its nowhere near finished and you've probably no idea whats it's talking about because its written about a specific person and a specific situation but what the hell... whaddya think?
i felt inspired
to write a tradgedy
no need to claw for fiction
i look at life around me
and i see
the broken bones of broken souls
and it pains me to see
the withering decay in your eye
and i hope
as shadows fall they fall through you
cos you've come too far now
to falter at the finish line
this sacred pain
that you hold dear
does not define you
cos you're a bigger person
than we all ever knew
and if it takes a hundred years
for you to feel
then thats ok
it's your life anyway
we're only here - both sides of me
to offer you the subtle touch of empathy
2006-10-08 03:08:19 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
if you paticularly want to see the finished article for some reason then click on my pic and its under the headline "the bunny gets it.....again..poor guy" or something :)
2006-10-08 04:28:41 · update #1
I like it! It's very emotionally powerful.
2006-10-08 03:16:41 · answer #1 · answered by songbird 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont prefer to jot down something for you...yet i like what you have so muc that i presumed identity write an answer besides. Thenotes and exceptionally the identify are wonderful. heres a tip for writing a music: write a refrain first, ending it with "deadly attraction" attempt finding some words that rhyme with attraction, it makes it much extra perfect. this is yet another suggestion: do not rigidity suggestions to return. think of roughly issues for the time of the day, or on each and every occasion, play around with some words, yet dont rigidity any suggestions. then, (for me its frequently interior the evening) you get an thought attack, and you write it down, and you get the mosta mazing issues written. good success.
2016-11-27 00:38:42 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey . . . I think it's great to make it into a song. I was like singing it while reading through the lines. It also has a poetic touch. Good luck and I hope you turn it into a great song or poem !
2006-10-08 03:32:59 · answer #3 · answered by DAX 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that if you begin your poem from, "I hope as shadows fall...", you have made a complete and beautiful statement.
Keep on writing!!!! you certainly know how to express feelings.
2006-10-08 03:20:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i like it, but it's got a few words that are too fancy for it to be a song. way to go.
2006-10-08 03:39:53 · answer #5 · answered by me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really like it way to go!
2006-10-08 03:16:43 · answer #6 · answered by Hopelessly Devoted 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋