Found soul mate but we live 1000 miles apart. How can we work this out?

Question

He was the first guy I ever kissed 29 years ago. We are both going through a divorce. I recieved a email from him 4.5 monthes ago and we have been emailing and talking on the phone a lot. We know everything about each other. We meet at the half way point and send time together. We both know that we are soul mates. But he has his own business in the very small town that we grew up in but it doesn't have good schools. I have small children and my ex husband will fight to keep them in the state. So my question is how do we make this work. How can we be together and grow old together. We both ache to be with each other. I have to do what is right for my children and he feels that he can't leave or sale the business because it was his dad's. Please, I welcome any ideas. We truly love each other with all of our hearts. So this has to work. It just has to. We don't want to live without each other. Ideas please. Thanks

Answer 1

I spent a lot of time overseas years ago with the Navy. Ships are made to be at sea and men (people) have to man those ships. I was and am still married and I know how hard it can be to be separated from a loved one for a period of time. The one thing that kept us going was the idea that nothing we were doing was permanant. There was always hope for the future and a life together in time.

You didn't mention where you lived and where he lives. Is it possible that you can buy a home near the halfway point between you? It may be a bit of a commute, but it also may be worth it in order to be together. I believe compromise is always a good policy, either with your spouse or anyone we have relationships with, like our kids.

I read your question and it dawned on me that even though you say you are soulmates you both (he and you) are steadfast that where you each live is the best scenario. You want your kids to go to a particular school district and he wants to live in the town where his father started a business, which he is responsible for. Seems to me you each have created your own obstacles and I submit to you that you are creating those obstacles because you might be afraid of something. You both are recently divorced or divorcing, so its possible your conscious mind wants someone to hold onto, but your subconscious mind is afraid to get back into a long-term relationship or marriage setting.

I suppose in a way you both need to decide what is more important, a fathers business, a school district or living together as soulmates.

I don't suggest that his fathers business or your want to have a good education for your children aren't important considerations, I just think that love will find a way, if it is true love. There may be, for instance, a school district near him or closer to him you havene't researched that has close to the same academic excellance you have in the current school district. As well, he may be able to hire a manager of sorts to run his business, at least part time, so he can spend more time with you.

So, I think you both need to look inside and really be honest with yourselves, consider compromising, consider alternative solutions and if you love each other, you will both find a way!

Answer 2

i was in the exact same situation about 5 years ago. It was both wonderful and exhilarating, and sad and frustrating. It didn't work out. It just couldn't. Neither one of us could ask the other to do the thing we knew wasn't right to do. This is what is called being an adult...lol.... and it hurts sometimes. as i see it, you can continue doing what youre doing until one or the other of you cracks..or a situation changes...or you find out that maybe he isn't the best one for you. I did it for 3 years over 999.6 miles. But it took a toll and i think that time might have been better spent keeping my focus on other things. A few years later i met someone and i am happy and i hope the guy i used to see is, too. that's love for ya! sometimes ya gotta give it up to get it.

Answer 3

He may be your soul mate, but you don't have to hook up with him...He will always be there for you and you for him. What are you doing looking for others to victimize, you are still married. My guess is that you just have a need to be needed. And you will be amazed what you can live without, Focus on what the divorce is doing to your young children,,,not your "soul mate" Get a job and you will find that there are many different types of aches and they all hurt...Grow up.

Answer 4

Until you can compromise on how you can live closer to one another you are going to have to keep doing what you are doing. Eventually when two people who in your case are SOULMATES, which is a big deal, will come together/ Keep your Faith in the Love you have for each other, always be honest with each other and talk about it. Once you quite talking about how important it is to be together then it stops being important. Reasurrance is a power thing. If you Love one another in the I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you way , It will work out. If you can't wait to spend another day apart, it will work out. COMPROMISE!!!! Pray about it....

Answer 5

while i develop right into a baby, i assumed as a baby and believed that there develop right into a soul mate for each individual. i'm on husband #3, so i've got given up the soul mate dream. i'm an eclectic quixotic Gemini, and the 1st of the air signs and indications is effective...and mutable.

Answer 6

I found my soul mate, and he lived in Romania, and I in oklahoma, so what did I do? I flew here two years ago, married him, and have been living in Ro for the past three years.... I'll do anything for love

Answer 7

One possibility maybe that, if his business can make enough money for you and your kids, then maybe you can try to home school the kids.
This way, he can keep his business, and you know that your kids will get the right education :)

Answer 8

One of you will have to make the sacrifice and relocate. Unless you want to wait until your children are in college, to be together.

Answer 9

how sweet and heartwarming, seriously I am not being a smart *** when I say that. my suggest is let your kids live with their father and you go with you soul mate
good luck

Answer 10

I don't think so.