Men only: How have you been affected by having been...?

Question

molested as a minor by an adult or older teen male. How has the experience impacted your adult life or has it? If you've come to terms with it, how did you successfully do so? Was the perp known to you or was he a stranger. No names, please.

Answer 1

at the age of 12 i was molested as i walked home from school. we lived in a country town of about 500 people. as i walked home, i had to cross a bridge. at the end of the bridge a man jumped out, grabbed me and threw me down the embankment. he came down and told me to take off all my clothing. i was in shock so i just stood there. i think he felt i was defying him. he came toward me so i started to run. i didn't get too far, when he knocked me to the ground, tore my clothing off, and told me to s--k his c--k.
i had no idea what that meant so he took his penis and put it to my lips. i can still remember it. it was uncut,and huge in size.
eventually, when i wouldn't open my mouth, he masturbated himself and ejaculated on my face. i thought he was finished, but, in retrospect, it had only begun. he turned me over and started to tongue my a/h. i didn't know why. then he took his c--k and literally raped me by forcing it into my butt. he pounded and pounded away. the pain was excrutiaitng. when he finished, he left and took my clothing with him. i was bleeding quite heavily, but managed to bring myself to the nearest neighbor's house. the rest is history.
the culprit was apprehended and pled guilty. he was sentenced to 2 years probation. mentally i wanted him locked away because i feared he'd return and molest me again.
this happened in 1955. for years i was frightened to walk anywhere alone. my parents didn't take me for professional help. in those days, you say a psychiatrist only if you were cuckoo.
to this day, 51 years later, i still have dream episodes where i relive this molestation. each time it hurts as much as it did back in 55. i truly hate this man and feel he has robbed me of a peaceful life.
in 1997 i went through a 9 month bout of severe depression and anxiety. when i eventually saw a psychiatrist for the first time i was suicidal and literally losing my mind. all i wanted to do was curl up in the fetal position and seclude myself from everyone. that's the only way i felt safe.
my sessions with the psychiatrist were almost totally related to the molestation. he tried to show me the importance of letting it go. easier said than done. i still have not reached a point of forgive and forget. this bastard will never know the havoc he has created in my life. i hate him for what he did to me and will probably go to my death with disdain in my heart.
for years i didn't want to have children with my wife. my big fear was that they, too, might be molested and have to life a life i was forced to endure. we did have 3 children. i devoted my life, while they were growing up, to making sure they were safe. it was exhausting, but well worth the effort knowing they were unharmed and have reached adulthood unscarred.

Answer 2

Kids are usually molested by someone they know—often family members. The impact ranges from next to nothing to severe symptomatology requiring psychotherapy depending on age, circumstances, amount of violence and personality type of victim among other things. Was it kept a secret? Was there family support? Was there family condemnation or denial?

I'm referring to continuous memories of abuse not uncovered memories which is a different kettle of fish.

Answer 3

definite, yet you recognize the certainty, i think of it seems numerous the time. generally the deceased is seen first and then definite, their survivors who're needless to say no longer in easy terms females. you do no longer know why human beings say issues. it may desire to be time table loaded or it may desire to be a parent of speach. it is likewise the certainty, inspite of the incontrovertible fact that lacking the point out of adult men in easy terms on your occasion. i do no longer see that occurring everywhere. ok, whilst a dispute occurs, yet another theory is don't have self belief each and every thing you study as a shelter on your very own sanity, are you able to and do you have self belief all certainty is blanketed leaving gender out? If adult ladies and men are programmed to think of, hi, all I could desire to is lie and that i've got have been given power over a guy or a females, how's approximately power over yet another individual who they do no longer seem to be treating as individual already - to that end cancels out power and awareness. adult men could desire to steer this in the different direction----------->don't get the incorrect effect and notice this as a sexist commentary. i'm a woman, definite. wo*guy* evaluate the third-celebration source. reliable question DBJ

Answer 4

I saw a therpist about this and came to terns with it. I don't think my molested had anything do to with my being gay but I fought it for years. I am at peace with myself over it.