Is this an Old Wives' Tale?

Question

My mother has a newspaper delivered everyday. When she's finished with it she tears it up into little pieces and scatters them in the garden. I'm not convinced that this is very eco-friendly, but when I ask her to stop she says it's the only way to discourage the elephants from walking through the garden on their way to the fridge they want to climb into.

Now, I can't really argue with her because I've never seen an elephant in either the garden or the fridge or even any evidence like droppings or footprints in the butter.

But why does it work?

Puleeeeeeeeeez Norman - Get a life. Of course it's utter rubbish. What do you do on Sundays? Go to Church? what's the difference between my delusion and yours?

(anyone got a helpful hint for keeping Norman out of my garden?)

Answer 1

Your Mother was absolutely correct about placing shreds of paper all around the house. Tell her that Zahbudar has written to you and knows about this custom also.

Elephants, you see, are very, very heavy creatures. Because of that they have to be extra, extra sensitive about little things that might make them fall and injure themselves. Wet shreds of paper absorb moisture and decay over time. Soggy decaying paper is mushy and slippery. Elephants will surely resist walking on anything wet and squishy except fresh mud which they relish for mud baths, etc. But, mud has an entirely different smell from that of decaying paper. So, elephants can tell the difference right away.

I am sure that you have heard about elephants being extra smart also, with long memories. When ever an elephant sees torn newspaper, it thinks that some big animal must have come this way and been very mad to tear all this material up like this. And, in a like manner to the information given above, the elephants will desire to avoid a direct confrontation with a great big angry animal. So, they will turn back from a line of shredded newspaper bits.

Old Pashtu Proverb:
(roughly translated into English)

Draw ye a line
Of newspaper bits like so
To stop charging elephants
And make them turn and go.

Most finest regards,
Zahbudar
3rd Poobah of Mentawie

Answer 2

Stop putting torn up newspaper in your garden, the Elephants will return and Norman will be trampled under foot.
By the way Norm, if this is utter rubbish, why did you bother to post an answer? Was it because you got tired of looking for your sense of humour?

Answer 3

being short sighted, elephants find it very difficult to read the small letters, especially when they have to look for pieces of an article all over your garden. being very smart and with excellent memories, the avoid the frustration by staying away from your garden, so far that they are all in Africa and South East Asia.
that's why your mother's recipe is so effective.
Mind you, if she did the same with used toilet paper a lot of other creatures would avoid your garden.

Answer 4

Elephants are very wise as they grow very old. All the B.S. that goes into the newspapers is so harsh it hurts to even walk on it or the papers has so much crap in them they don't like walking in sh-t

Answer 5

It could work because elephants are highly intelligent animals. When they realise that you Mum has torn the news paper into tiny bits and the pieces are too small to use as toilet paper they will go elsewhere. QED

Answer 6

I don't know about the elephant repellant nature of newspaper, but I can tell you that it's pretty good for keeping down weeds, and for retaining moisture in the ground.

I like your mom... she sounds fun!

Answer 7

Elephants actually hate the smell of the old newspapers,especially when they're wet.Which is why in Africa where there's no rain they don't bother doing it.

Answer 8

Well, it may stop the elephants but everyone knows that soggy newspaper is the favourite food of werewolves...

Answer 9

Make a big sign that says no Normans allowed,tress passers will be shot

Answer 10

It's a bit of fancy and where would we be without it? When I was a girl, I asked my mother how she and my dad met. She told me he'd helicoptered down into our driveway..... don't even get me started on the inconsistencies this would raise. My kids claim I lie to them all the time, but they love it and I think their imagination and sense of humor will serve them very well, thanks.