A few months back I had told my husband that I was leaving him for someone that I have loved for a long time. My husband is still planning on the divorce, but I cannot convince him that I do not want it anymore. I want to try again to make this work (my marriage has had more bumps than an old dirt road) and I don't know what to say to him. I know that earning his trust back is going to be a task, but it's one that I'm willing to take. Can someone please provide some suggestions? Counselors and chaplains aren't working...they say that the marriage is over at this point but I don't believe that.
2006-10-08 00:11:43 · 16 answers · asked by Vanessa I 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The marriage isn't over until a judge in a family court says it's over.
But once trust is broken between two people, then getting it back is very difficult.
The only reasonable thing you can do now is forget the past and start behaving towards your husband as a very loyal, devoted, and loving wife would. And don't take 'no' for an answer from him. You are his wife as long as there is no official divorce.
It's hard for any man to resist this kind of loving treatment from a woman. And if you do it long and persistently enough, then eventually he may change his mind and come back to you.
Love creates love. And if you love hard enough, then perhaps you can even bring love back from the dead.
2006-10-08 00:34:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I hate to break it to u but u can do all the convincing u want and if your husband's the type of man that won't take what u did to him lightly, it may be over...as far as he's concerned anyway. Can't say I blame him though. U did break his trust and u can't just expect him to turn his feelings on and off like a light switch...especially after telling him something like this. The choice is his to make now and the only thing u can do is to let him make up his mind.
2006-10-08 07:54:56 · answer #2 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I told my boyfriend of 4 months that I thought someone else was my soulmate. It came close to ruining our relationship because I love him so much and didn't want to leave him, but I needed to be honest. Steve and I had been friends for 6 years and it always seems like the wrong timing for us. I told Grant (the boyfriend) this, and I told him that even though Steve is my soulmate, I would never leave Grant because I love him too much and don't want to hurt him. We broke up and I realised that there would never be trust in the relationship again, but then the next day he came to me and said that all he wanted was for me to tell him that there was no one else that I wanted to be with and that he is the only one for me. I tried to say no, because I knew how hard the relationship would be with him after that, but eventually I just couldn't. Try and be honest with you husband and tell him what is going through your mind. Why you wanted to leave in the first place and what has changed your mind. Beg him if you must. I hope with all my heart that everything works out for you. I am reaching my 7th month with Grant (my longest relationship) and we are perfectly fine now!
2006-10-08 07:24:14 · answer #3 · answered by laislinns 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow... I hate to say this, but sometimes you just have to let it go... even if it takes everything in your power to make you release it. Let him go... and try to pick up the pieces & move on. What happened to the other person that you've loved for so long? Did they reject you or did it just not work out? Why tell your man that you were leaving him, and then expect him to take you back as though you never hurt him like that? I'm not trying to be judgemental... but without knowing those kinds of details, it's really hard to say.
Good luck.
2006-10-08 07:16:44 · answer #4 · answered by Jemmie Vee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why you want him back after telling him you are leaving him for someone? Where is the someone? You must make up your mind who you want and honestly to gain his trust will not be easy. If you really want this marriage back you have to try and work on it.
2006-10-08 07:33:45 · answer #5 · answered by vosy2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is just a suggestion cause i've not been there but try going back to the dating stage with him. A time when both of you were happier to be with one another and see if things get better. That is if he will go out with you.
2006-10-08 07:57:12 · answer #6 · answered by ronnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does the term Denial mean anything to you? You are experiencing Death of your relationship and you are in the 1st stage of the grief process. Even Scarlet O'Hara couldn't get Rhett Butler back when too many things go wrong
2006-10-08 07:27:01 · answer #7 · answered by BrillantBABA 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you chose to leave and now that you have found that the grass is not greener you want back in??? I think it is too late for that let your husband go and find someone that will stick by his side down that dirt road.
2006-10-08 07:20:05 · answer #8 · answered by kelsey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think the marriage may be over, if my partner told me she was leaving me for someone that she has loved for a long time i dont think i would be able to accept that. if she changed her mind i would always be thinking that she couldn't love me as she loves someone else. all the same i hope things work out for you, good luck.
2006-10-08 07:36:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Vanessa! you are sitting on your brains hon, you tell your husband that you are leaving him, then change your mind? where are you! on a little pink cloud? Now he knows why you were leaving him do you really think he'd have you back? tuck your legs in hon because your little pink cloud is going to rain you down to reality!!!!!!
2006-10-08 07:28:03 · answer #10 · answered by wheeliebin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋