My sister has multiple sclerious, and had a large network of friends. Since she has been diagnosed with the above, her friends seem to have disappeared of the face of the earth. Why is it that us human beings, seem to be frightened of illnessess, that's envitable, that some of us will get sometimes in our lives? Serious reply's only please. Cheers.
2006-10-07 23:03:10 · 14 answers · asked by classychick 2 in Health ➔ General Health Care ➔ Other - General Health Care
My sister has been diagnoised with MS for four years now, and i really cannot see her friends attitudes changing. All she has are her parents and family.Thank you all for all your replies, it's just lovely that their are still some kind and loving people in this world.
2006-10-08 04:07:21 · update #1
My friends daughter has been in hospital for the last seventeen weeks due to her MS. In that time only two of her friends have visited her and her family of course. She is seriously ill at the moment and it is hoped that the new treatment available will be offered to her when she is a bit more stable (she has a very aggresive form of MS) Her other friends say that they dont want to see her while she is ill. I dont understand it either. She needs all her friends around her at the moment. I agree with you that some people find disease frightening but surely they should be supporting their loved ones through a difficult time
2006-10-07 23:09:50 · answer #1 · answered by pebs 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure we can put "serious replys" and "cheers" together on this one. The sad fact is, most "friendships" when you are young are more what older people would call acquaintanceship. An OK guy if you don't expect too much, you know? And those sorts of relationships do not include dealing with the emotional issues of a frightening illness.
Yes, of course they are frightened. And it's not just about being unaware that the condition is not contagious. The EMOTIONAL condition may indeed be contagious. Because when you are dealing with an intense illness in yourself or in your family, suddenly you are much more mature. It grows you up fast, in terms of mental development. Something about the focus does that. Its a focus beyond the latest design in jeans, you know?
Like I say, mere acquaintanceship does not survive that. But the few who do come around to visit, and who are willing to just sit and talk, and deal with the things you need to deal with, those are what an older person calls a friend. And the older you get, the more golden they get.
God bless the child.
2006-10-07 23:16:37 · answer #2 · answered by auntb93again 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My mother has MS too so I know what your family is going through. It's sad that in some cases friends do disappear, I've heard of this happening all too many times. My mum still keeps in touch with friends although it is difficult for her to be social when her fatigue is overwhelming, and she can no longer walk. The only thing that I can suggest is her talking to her friends and being open about the illness, and explain to them how it affects her and that she needs their support. She should stress that this doesn't mean the end of the friendship and she's still the same person who can still go out to dinner or to the theatre or whatever. The MS society can provide support and advice in this area. I think she needs to show that she is not going to let this illness get her down and hopefully her friends will respect this and treat her with love and understanding.
Being seen out and about too can be a big help.
Please send her my best wishes, I genuinely hope that this matter is resolved.
2006-10-07 23:29:17 · answer #3 · answered by Ms. Roxie 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have diseases too, and when some people find out that I use a wheelchair, they completely change their attitude and don't talk to me unless they have to. People aren't scared of diseases exactly, just what they don't know.
Tell your sister if I was her friend, then I'd be there for her, because I've got diseases too and I know how you feel. I'm not scared of getting anything else. I can already die. I'm only 13!!!
Hope this helps you!
Boffdude xxx
(*^_^*)
2006-10-07 23:22:14 · answer #4 · answered by Boffdude 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think that sometimes when someone is really ill, other people who are not family, can sometimes think that they may be intruding. I realise that they may be wrong in not visiting but they may feel that only very close people visit in hospital, maybe if you let them know that she would really appreciate a visit they would love to go?
Sometimes people are very scared of doing the wrong thing, and decide it is best to stay away.
Also they might genuinely feel that your sister may not want people to see her in this state, if she doesn't mind visitors (not all patients DO want to see visitors)why dont you let them all know, and then you will see who her friends are.
Sometimes people just need to be told, you never know they may be sat at home wondering what is the best thing to do.
I wish her well.
2006-10-08 00:16:24 · answer #5 · answered by BRICK 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunates people do not know how to deal with other people's health problems. They may feel uncomfortable and do not know what to say or how to behave in your sisters company in case they offend. It also brings it home to us our own vulnerability, this is scary. You didn't say if this was recent if so the friends may need time to adjust. If your sister needs practical advice and support from people with MS she should check out the website.
good luck
2006-10-07 23:15:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
because they're shallow she should confront them and ask them.It may be hard but I bet her friends will find it harder to answer. She could get intouch with an MS group and gain support she might make some friends who will be more understanding. These things happen to the best.
2006-10-07 23:47:29 · answer #7 · answered by vicki r 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Usually, friends who are infected with any spreadable illness, friends dun normally mind visiting. However, its the fear of bringing whatever that is back home and start infecting their famiy too. It a predicament. On one hand its your good friend on the other, your own family...
2006-10-07 23:16:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-02 01:58:13 · answer #9 · answered by oberlander 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think her friends mean to be cruel but I think most of us have difficulty coming to terms with serious illness and don't know how to cope or treat anyone suffering with it..I think given time her friends will drift back..
2006-10-07 23:11:44 · answer #10 · answered by geordie.lady 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋