Jealousy is tearing me apart?

Question

I'm 6ft 4'' and my wife is 5ft 2'' ( in case your wondering it makes no difference in that department) anyway, My wife is a corker absoulutely stunning, but I have always been conscious of the height difference and when we go out everyone stares. At first I thought it was mindless idiots taking the p??s but my 1ST divisional freind (who I've known since I was five) tells me that
most of the stares are from men and its my wife there lusting after. Since my freind pointed this out I have been insanely Jealous.Even though my wife treats me well, brings me tea in bed continues to be obsesive about washing my personals. God! I thought she was having an affair and followed her on her lunch break where she was having lunch with her brother. I'm finding myself becoming possesive and not wanting to go out with her. I,m beginning to wish I married a woman with bucked teeth. Should I see a doctor. May be if my wife dressed about ten years older and she had her long hair croped. will that help

Answer 1

You just need to look at it in a different way. My husband had a problem with men staring at me when we first got married. His brother told him to look at it this way."They are staring at something you have, that they want , but can never get". Be proud that your wife is attractive. And remember they can look but she always ends up at home with you.
I have had guys hit on me. But I love my husband, that is why I married him. And I just either ignore the idiots that don't see the wedding rings, or just don't care.
I am sure your wife is the same way. Talk to her about it. Don't ask her to change the way she looks, that wouldn't be her.

Answer 2

Seems like you forgot why you married this person and vice versa. Jealousy and Envy will destroy any marriage. If other men are looking at your wife, you should feel complimented. You have to know, if what you say is true about her "stunning" looks, count your blessing, she choose and married you! Overall you sound like a insecure man and you need to have those issues addressed. However, my bet is that the counsler, psychologist, etc. will tell you that your problem stems from your own neurosis. People who behave like you do are: really insecure or they're feeling guilty from something they did in the past and now it's pay back time? Whatever it is, count your blessing Guy. She married you, I'm guessing she is still with you. But the heart of the matter is this, if she is having an affair, she's not getting what she needs at home (sexual or mentally). It is my firm belief that all the tall tale signs were there if she was cheating, stops having sex with you, gives you the cheek when you want a kiss, etc.. Maybe you were to focused on you or just didn't want to admit to it, I know its painful ( been there). I wish you luck either way, but instead of tormenting yourself, did you try asking her? Don't you think she'll be truthfull with you? Just be prepared to hear what comes after, good or bad. Remember this problem is all yours. Again, focus on the positive and if you're ever unsure, go straight to the root of your pain (your wife). I'm thinking your friend of many years should a found a more tactful way of telling you that men stare at your wife because of her beauty, not lusting. Seems your friend is the one who is lusting, did you ever ask anyone else you caught staring at your wife? Good luck

Answer 3

your friend has planted the seed in your head...he's triggered off some things that you didnt ever think about and i bet you are sorry he told you this....you should be flattered that other men look at your wife, she's with you, not them, be proud that she still has her stunning looks, i think what your friend said was pretty mean, if you have known each other since you were 5 then he should know you pretty well, so therefore he should not have said anything to you...dont take what your friend said to heart....if your wife was cheating you'd know straight away...people change when they are cheating, dont get obsessed, if you follow her and she catches you, this could cause HUGE problems in your marriage, your friend should not have said it, but it's too lae now, you have to take this as a compliment and not a threat.....you cant change the way your wife looks....be proud that she's beautiful....it seems that you dot have a problem with your marriage but you do have a jealousy problem....the green mist is a killer...dont let it kill your marriage, and put what your friend said to the back of your mind...your wife is not cheating, trust her, and dont get crazy about what he said...another thing you should do is talk to your wife...tell her how you feel....dont let this eat at you, it can make you ill, tell her your anxieties, you dont need to see a doctor, you can tackle this yor ay, but never believe everything people say to you, even if it's in good spirit....you must get these thoughts out of your head before something REALLY DOES happens to your marriage

Answer 4

You should be proud of yurself coz she married you! Just ignore those guys lusting after her. The most important thing is that you know she loves you so, just keep on loving her and show her she means so much to you and that you are very proud to have a beautiful wife! That way she will never look for another man because she knows that no one will ever love her like you do. But if you continue that jealousy, that will only ruin your relationship and that might lead her to seek attention from other man.

Answer 5

Jealousy I find is an awful disease that destroys people's lives.
It sounds to me that you are pretty insecure and a woman if intelligent can sense that. Gain back your security and your pride of marrying to a beautiful woman.
It is normal if a person is attractive people are going to look but if that person is with you those people are more jealous of you.
Now, the question is are you both happy with each other? do you give each other space? or are you too scared to give her space because you're afraid of her fooling around.
Communication is the most important thing in a relationship. Don't be afraid to tell her how you feel.
Talk things over in an intelligent manner.
One important lesson you must learn in life is that never be afraid to loose someone. Life is a gift to us all and you must find your own self worth and happiness before you can make someone else happy.
If one day you were to split, you both have to ask yourselves why and accept your decisions.
Live beautifully now and love one another with passion.
Be interested in the things she like and vice versa.
Never posses a person, it's an ugly thing.
I hope this long note helps.
Be happy and live joyously with one another day by day.

Answer 6

First don't take what your friends says to heart he could be wrong it could be the height difference or heck they could be looking at you too. . 2ndly your wife sounds like she is totally committed to you and as you said you folllowed her around once and she didn't show you reason to be alarmed.

You have to feel more sure of yourself, and tell yourself she's with you she loves you and you are the man she picked. not these other guys starring at her.

You will get stares too human nature people see something beautiful they looks. You keep treating her well though by you wanting to avoid going out with her. all thats going to do is bring arguments and she will feeled stifled and end up going out on her own and you would'n't want that. right now at least your always there. imagine how you'll feel when she's out alone if your feeling this stressed out about it now.

Just keep in mind she loves you and is with you.
other men may stare but remember she's going home with you at night and is completely faithful.

Answer 7

For some reason you are feeling insecure about yourself and it is starting to poison your relationship. My husband often goes on conference trips. I have often heard of the sorts of antics that the married men get involved with. In the beginning I was so jealous and then I realized that IF he truly wanted to betray me then there isn't a single thing I can do to prevent it. That will happen whether he is just 5 miles away or 500 miles away. I have to trust that he loves me the way he says and shows me that he does. If he decides to spit on my trust then I am sure that the evidence will surface on its own and then I can deal with it then. I am careful not harp on the negative feelings as it could end up making him feel untrusted and if he isn't doing anything wrong and I still I didn't trust him then he will just go ahead and make that which I fear most happen. So, just love your wife and keep in mind that she comes home to you and you have a healthy love life. True love doesn't try to imprison the object of its affection. Let her be who she is. It is up to her to slam shut anyone who tries to flirt with her. If she doesn't encourage it ; nothing can ever become of it.

Answer 8

you shouldn't see a doctor you should be proud of your wife then and take it as a compliment when men stare at her and you know that you are the one to have her and love her and you are the one to bring her home. Show her the love send her flowers surprise her and pick her up at work and take her to a hotel for the night wine her and dine her and just love her be proud!!! she is your wife not a poession that you have to hide away because everyone looks at her!! I had a ex that i had asked this question- his own friends would tell him I was cute his nick name for me was doll- so i ask him don't that make you jelous he said no I take it as a compliment it makes me feel proud that i am out with you and i know you are comming home with me. So I hope you don't drive your wife away from you by becomming a big jelous man. Just show her u love her and give her your attention. Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 9

just because men look at your woman does not mean she is having an affair. Most men look at an attractive woman, you should feel proud that this particular woman belongs to you and tell her so...tell her how gorgeous she is and how proud you are of her instead of seething inside and following her round at lunch time. I doubt you would have a problem if it was the other way round and women were looking at you everywhere you went so just learn to live with it...u have a good looking wife, worse things could happen ....and they will if you carry on with your jealousy - most women like confidence in a man not insecurity and jealousy

Answer 10

First of all what your divisional friend made you believe.was MEAN . your friend knows you and why she choice such a
statement ???? Maybe those mindless idiots are just envy

You sound like an educated man, who has lost it. Why would you give anyone the power to take your integrity away from you. You have allowed others to break you down to this. Look at yourself and stop. Get back to your marriage, loving your wife and laugh with those who envy and give something to stare at. People see what they want. We all want to see couples in love. That we all en vy.