I don't think husbands and wives should equally pay bills. I am old fashioned and I believe a man should be a man and take care of his family. I understand there are times with illnesses and disability when a wife has to take over, but in general nowadays husbands expect their wives to pay part of the bills, and most of the time the wives have part time jobs. I'd like some opinions on this, because to me that completely disrespects the marriage, you might as well be roommates?
2006-10-07 20:57:14 · 14 answers · asked by frustrated 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
When I first met my wife, and we decided to get married, I offered to pay her bills. She was against the entire thing! I couldnt understand it, because I simply told her, that I wanted her "free and clear" of any debts that she would have, so that we could start "new".
So, she agreed, and the bills were paid, and we have always put the money in one "pot", and taken what we need or wanted or required.
I let her take care of the bills, as I brought in the money, and she let me know what I could "spend" on my projects. A lot of times, she let me spend too much, and we went into a real debt situation...But, she reasoned that since I was working, and I wasnt in any way going to lose my job, that we could always afford it!
Well, I got tired of paying such high interest rates, and like a buddy once told me, the only thing you get for interests, is a "thank you"!
So, we had 25,000 bucks in bills, and I simply told the Wife that we were getting free of debt! It took two years, but, we scrimped and saved and paid everything off, and lived off of practically nothing, but, we got the bills all paid and I have never let the bills get that way again!
Share everything, it makes the family unit stronger. If you have a division of "his" and "hers", then its not a family, its just two people pulling in opposite directions. (Like room mates!).
When your "mature" enough, and have shared a life time in a marriage, you will understand...
I wish you well..
Jesse
2006-10-07 21:07:54 · answer #1 · answered by x 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Times have changed from our grandparents day. people want the extra trips the two car garage . better education for there kids etc... very difficult on one salary. So yes its okay to help out your husband. Heck husbands now help out in cleaning up the house and help in cooking for the woman. Why shouldn't they get help in this dept. too. everybody wants to spend and have the nicer things so both parties should chip in and help out. If your that against putting money in .. then you will have to do without more things. You can't ask to have everything if the man cannot provide all this for you.
Of course if your well off then this should be okay
but if you both have to struggle only fair you meet half way. this is a partnership.
2006-10-08 20:16:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don`t think the husband should pay every bill. The wife has to do some paying too is just the right thing to do. Unless she is a lazy wife that uses excuses like I gotta stay here to take care of the kids.
2006-10-07 21:05:00 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sharing is the key.. Sharing responsibilities... one can do the bills while the other is probably best at cooking... etc... etc...
I do believe they should have a joint account, and a budget though. One bag of gold. and the other to provide for the grieving left behind...
Responsibility, is the other important concept here. Both need ot be adults, and not indulge in something that would imlicitly hurt the other member (s) of the family.
2006-10-07 21:13:23 · answer #4 · answered by Pivoine 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There's certainly nothing wrong with being old fashioned, if this is what suits your marriage and the couple is in harmony with the arrangement. In my marriage, both my husband and I work and even though he makes slightly more than I do, we split the bills on who gets to pay what each month. This is an agreed upon arrangement, even prior to marriage and it suits us fine.
2006-10-07 21:31:37 · answer #5 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its the 21st century... inflation is high, and so is the cost of living in general. It is hard enough to make a living on 2 incomes let alone trying to do it all on one.
If youre independantly wealthy and choose to marry, then maybe... but for us normal people equality is not only wanted, but many times needed.
2006-10-07 21:37:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Everyone's situation is different. Husbands are under no obligation to pay the bills on his own- that's ridiculous. If that is the family agreement, fine. But he should not be expected to do that on his own.
2006-10-07 21:11:32 · answer #7 · answered by lailah 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what third world country are you living in? the economy today practically requires a two income family unless you are amish and live in the sticks. a marriage is a partnership the key word is PARTNER. you dont deserve a wife of any substance if you are still living in 19th century standards.
2006-10-07 21:02:20 · answer #8 · answered by casurfwatcher 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To each his own - whatever works for the couple personally.
Why should I be upset with the decisions other people make that do not affect me?
2006-10-07 21:00:20 · answer #9 · answered by amber ɹəqɯɐ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not room mates, you should be soul mates, and if by chance you have to pay some bills pay them.
2006-10-07 21:17:38 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋