How to deal with a verbally abusive spouse?

Answer 1

If you both cant resolve it between yourselves, then perhaps a professional needs to be considered.

Answer 2

The short term fix (mind you, only short term) is not not reply to any of the argument or comments. It is difficult to argue when there's only one party arguing. No matter how deeply you want to respond, don't. The fights/verbal abuse eventually will stop (for the time being). It worked for me!

Next, you must realize this is a symptom of more serious things that are occurring that is unseen. For example, it is a tool for breaking down the self-esteem and confidence. Once a person lacks esteem and confidence, she/he loses the ability to make decisions independently, therefore, can't go anywhere. By losing those things, you lose the ability and desire to do the things that is necessary to either resolve the situation or remove yourself from it.

Also, long term verbal/emotion abuse is a form of brainwashing. Once the brainwashing techniques are effective, the control is in his/her hands. All this drains a person. This is one of the reasons why battered women (and men) stay in their own private hell.

Answer 3

The question should be how do you deal with the loss of an abusive spouse. People can change their behavior, but first they need to take responsibility for the abuse that they have caused you. They will never be able to change without some professional counseling and that takes time, in the meantime you need to take care of you, and for now that means distancing yourself from your spouse. Because you have allowed yourself to endure this abuse for sometime you too would benefit from a little counseling yourself. Your self-esteem and self-confidence must have suffered from this abuse, so give yourself time before you once again will be able to feel secure, safe and confident. We treat people how to treat us, so you need to do a little soul searching to find out why you allowed this abuse to continue if it has gone on for a long time. You have a long road ahead of you, but you will be alright with a bit of help, and so will your spouse if they want to accept it.

Answer 4

Talk to him let him know that you don't appreciate what he said. If this continue you shall do the same and see how he feels. If he can taste his own medicine he'll know if it's bitter or not. If that doesn't work than get the heck of the relationship. It's obvious he doesn't respect you as a wife. If he loves you he wouldn't say harsh things to hurt you. Verbal abusive is mental abusive. Later on it will become physical abuse.

Answer 5

I understand how you feel, my husband was once a very kind, caring man, but the past few years he's gotten so hateful I can hardly stand him. I can't leave right now, because I don't have a job, or an another option. But I can tell you this, if you have the means to go it on your own, do it. The sad part is, it won't change, it will only get worse.

Answer 6

He would be unable to get counseling or he wont? that's no longer an exceptionally sturdy excuse your making for him. If he does not get counseling possibly you may. Ask your self what variety of ladies human beings remains with a guy who's moody and verbally abusive?

Answer 7

Here in the states verbal abuse is grounds for divorce. Consult a lawyer.

Answer 8

give spouse some space,
needs mature friendships outside the marriage to regain perspective,
divorce.

Answer 9

I believe the one who does the insulting is really insecure of them self. Putting you down makes them feel superior.
Its imperative that you find someone to talk to who will listen and encourage you in a positive way.
"a word is not a bird, once out it can never go back in."

Answer 10

My ex was one and still is. My point is they will not change. I've tried reasonings to silent treatments, none work. Now I am leaving him. Best decision coz I hear less of him.

Answer 11

Do the holy water treatment, it works! No kidding... Tell him that the doctor said that he should hold that water in his mouth before he speaks, until he doesn't feel the urge to speak no more. You'll have him cured in no time!! hehehehe!!!