what do woman mean when they say " don't know "?

Question

been in a great relationship for 4 1/2 years. The last few months has been very difficult, both of us have stress at work, both working full time. With a house full of children ( 5 ) its hard to get " together time ". The relationship has gone stale. When I've tried to help out, or do stuff to make together time, shes going round her ex's. Everytime I want to talk about the relationship I get negative body lanuage and a " don't know " answer. I love her to bits, but at the moment I feel as i've lost my best friend, lover, partner and confident. Is she protecting herself whilst she gets better?, is she wanting to end it?, will time heal the wounds?. So many questions but living in the Dont know hurts.

Answer 1

She's probably feeling the same way you are. When I use "don't know," it means that I feel a bit like that, or that I'm feeling to stressed out by everything else to think about that particular topic. It is not necessarily too late to fix things, though! Tell her that you think it is very important to get some together time, no excuses (of course, say it in a nice way). Hire a babysitter and go out on a date where you two can talk about your relationship and find out where you both stand. Tell her just what you said there...that you love her, but you feel that you're losing her and that is the last thing you want to happen.

Best of luck to you!

Answer 2

4 a start she shouldnt be going round her exs to avoid conversation wif u so u should wonder wt thats all about
next thing is things think bout how ur askin her things maybe shes seein that there an oppourtunity to just say dont know i.e.do u want a cheese or ham sandwhich ? dont know
or r u a woman ? yes no option to say dont know bad examples i know but couldnt think of anything else
if u get no alone time and 1 of the kids is old enough then leave them in the evenin go 4 a walk that is good for the body gives u time to chat and walk u could find a nice romantic spot and have a bottle of bubbly togetha if the spark need reignitin then sneak round like teenagers or somethin
but to b honest m8 unless her ex and her hate each other then i would b worried coz things like that happen she was inlove wif him once other than that m8 is there somthin on her mind mayb work or family of somthin

Answer 3

Personally if i was acting like that towards a man then i would say its over....Also why the hell are you letting her go to her ex's i would'nt except that. Have strength and speak to her in a way that will make her see that the way she is treating you is completely out of order, If she thinks it's over tell her it's not fair to be kept in the dark about your "relationship"!! I know it's hard bcoz you love her but just think about the negativity it's having on the children seeing neither of you happy!! With time also you will feel happier and then maybe you can try again or move on!!

Answer 4

If the relationship has been always the same since you been together with the kids and work, then i would work about the "don't know" answers. If this is really a sudden change in attitude then maybe you should sit down to a serious talk and see where the relationship stands. Usually body language says it all.

Answer 5

Did you say shes going around her ex's? Do you mean ex as in ex-husband? Or am I to old to understand that might mean excuses.If it's the first one,then you two need a serious and I mean serious talk.If that is what it means,about ex-husband why are you sitting back and letting that happen? Also,if that is what she's doing,she's already gone.And my belief is why prolong the inevitable? Move on and don't waste any more of your life thinking it's going to get better.The faster you get out,the faster you can get on with your life.I know it hurts,but if she's not the one,staying where you're at you could be missing out on the one that is for you.I wish you the best,and God bless

Answer 6

"I don't know" is loaded with a lot of negative meanings, it is like closing the door to someone really, and not trying hard at all to make things improve. Maybe, to give her space, you could leave for some time, yes , leave, go away, and make her miss you. Life could be a boring routine for her, and your leaving for somewhere, may give her a breath of fresh air and make her miss you. Maybe tell her that you also need to collect yourself, and that should give her a shock. You do not deserve to be treated like this, so let her know you can't be taken over by theatrics and indifferent treatment coming from her.

Answer 7

If she is going round her ex's and not spending time with you then its over mate.

She must know the relationship is going through a tuff time, yet she is off to see her ex. Wake up and smell the coffee, the fat lady is singing her head off mate.

Answer 8

Such a difficult situation to understand. Maybe she is just trying to work things out in her own mind, I sometimes use 'don't know' as a delay tactic as I really don't know how to verbalise my thoughts. You really do need to talk though, you have to try and open up with her so she feels more able to open up to you.

Answer 9

You should suggest couples counselling for the both of you. Maybe with a counsellor acting as the mediator, your partner will find it easier to open up and tell you what's on her mind.

Answer 10

she might be depressed or maybe she it just trying to sort out her head, give her time, it's not easy having one kid to look after let alone 5, having kids messes up i women body alot and can take years and years for the body to sort it self out, also you don't say how old are your kids. i hope this has helped abit.
p.s if she is depressed she needs to see a doctor.