My husband has been acting weird lately but im scared to say anything about it because when i do he gets mad and i really want our marriage to last. what would be the christian thing to do in this situation. He doesnt want to listen to gospel anymore, go to church anymore, and he hangs out with his friends a lot more than he used to.
2006-10-07 19:29:51 · 23 answers · asked by ya girl 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i looked through his cell phone address book and i saw two numbers that were just abbreviated " S" and "A" instead of having the whole name. is he lazy or is he hiding something
2006-10-07 19:51:29 · update #1
After 35 years of a good and bad relationships, my conclusion and my advice to you is this: Nothing short of complete honesty and complete trust. If you don't have these two things in a relationship, you have no relationship. You must let him know exactly how you're feeling. If he is worth a hoot, he will try to work things out and he will be honest with you. If you think you may be just imagining things, then try a little experiment on yourself. Step outside of your normal way of reacting to a situation. Choose to trust him completely. The power is within you to do so. Make it real. Let him know this in some way. Give it some time to do its magic. When you let a loved one know you trust him, you make him feel loved and worthy and he will strive to meet your expectations. On the other hand, if you let someone know you mistrust him, he may feel like he is being punished for a crime he didn't commit. If he is going to be punished, he may think, "I am being punished, so I might as well be committing the crime" As you sow, so shall you reap. If you try this and then find out your man is not being honest and is cheating, don't waste another moment of your precious time with him. I hope that helps! Good luck and I pray that you find peace in your relationship and in yourself.
2006-10-07 21:51:23 · answer #1 · answered by galacticsleigh 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems your husband is choosing to NOT do a lot of things and only do the things HE chooses. Have you considered talking with your Pastor?
Explain your concern about your husbands anger when questioned and his desire to 'hang out' with his friends, perhaps ask what would be the right approach towards opening up a dialogue that would provide you with answers that you seek. Beware that it may be something that you might not want to hear though. So prepare yourself in the interim if it is what you suspect.
And, know too that in order for your marriage to work, both of you have to be able to communicate. I know you want to save your marriage, but he will have to want the same as you for this to work. Sometimes influence from outsiders, single friends etc. can put a bigger strain on a marriage that was in trouble... and the other spouse wasn't aware there was a problem.
2006-10-08 02:49:08 · answer #2 · answered by pane2nou 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to speak to HIM no matter how angry he gets (unless he gets physical, and if that is the case you need to leave him for that and not worry about if he is cheating). Tell him that you are worried about his choices, no longer wanting to go to church or listen to gospel. Ask him why he is less interested that he used to be (you may find that he just isnt as into it as You are). Talk to him about his friends, why they go out instead of him inviting them to your home. Even tell him you have been feeling a little insecure and have been curious/wondering/suspicious that he may be having an affair. Tell him that you want to work on your marriage (and if he is having an affair, do you still?). Most men do not tell their wife that they are having an affair because they are ashamed and do not want to lose their wife, not because they are worried about "getting in trouble"..... I mean lets face it, if they didnt care about the woman they married than they would tell you, let you yell a little and then get divorced so that they could move on to the "green pastures".
Bottom Line: TALK TO HIM, even if he gets angry (if you get past the defensive line he wont be able to use it on you anymore)
2006-10-08 04:10:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just talk to him. Your not getting anywhere doing what you are doing. There are other things that could be making him act the way he is. But if your feelings are that strong that he is cheating and he wont talk then he probably is doing something. Maybe you should try some counseling. If he wants to make it work he will do what he has to do. But if not its better for you that you find out now rather than spend the next year wondering. All the luck to you.
2006-10-08 02:38:07 · answer #4 · answered by sweetsnickers 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may be over-reacting. Hanging out with friends is good, unless they are immature friends. And not listening to gospel or going to church simply means that he is not as religious as you are. Perhaps he was only going to church to please you and now he no longer feels he needs to pretend to like church anymore.
Would you still love him if he was an atheist? If the answer is yes, then it may be good to have a long talk with him about religion. Remind him that you love him no matter what. On the other hand, if can't love a man who doesn't believe in God, then it may be a bad idea to talk with him, you may make things worse. But remember, he may NOT be atheist, he may simply have lost interest in church.
However, if you really think he is cheating on you, you can get a detective to follow him. In the meantime, it might be best if you use additional protection when having sex, just in-case.
2006-10-08 02:36:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
Don't say anything anymore to make him mad, but put your "feelers" out and start investigating a little further. That is...if you really believe he may be cheating. He may just be going thru a phase and not feeling like church or conformity.
2006-10-08 03:54:02 · answer #6 · answered by marincaligirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you have not been working your magic, remember, the same way you met him, is the same thing its gonna take to keep him. He may not be cheating. He may be out with the boys.
Ask him to take you out sometimes. Church, try fellow shipping at home. Use your imagination about ways to steer the relationship. Something has to work.
You should never be afraid to speak with your husband, if he is cheating, maybe you need to look at what is going on that drove him outside and into the arms of another woman. What kind of magic she is work that I (you) can't do.
Are you willing to get freaky, rock his world and get caught up on some of your own maintenance, you know, get your walls banged and scrapped, wake up the next morning, and feel like its still in there (get it).
2006-10-08 02:56:10 · answer #7 · answered by WOODSAK 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Trust your feelings, if he is cheating, remember don't look unless you are prepared to find the answers. Ask yourself what you will do if he is? Would you leave him? or try to work it out? You said you go to church, well, God works in myterious ways and he will be with you in whatever path you choose to take. Good Luck
2006-10-08 02:58:10 · answer #8 · answered by frustrated 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, the only way to really prove it is to get solid proof. U said he was hanging out with his friends more? His change of attitude could be caused by influence from his friends. Don't jump to conclusions until u have more to go by.
2006-10-08 02:39:18 · answer #9 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry you have to go through this. The best thing I can think of is to talk this over with your husband. I know you said he will get mad. But if this is really bothering you then you need to talk to him before this situation gets any worse.
2006-10-08 02:36:06 · answer #10 · answered by goodies100 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋