my husband keeps everything he buys ( mainly expensive tools) a secret from me. do you think he is afraid to tell me? Why am I upset about this? I bothers me especially since we dont really have this money to spend in the first place. I have 2 kids and Im working at the same time and I give him my paychecks to help us with our monet situation and it doesnt seem to be helping? Do you think he is wasting it on tools and things? I dont really know what to do. Im upset about this.
2006-10-07 18:43:48 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
In marriage, you pick your battles and choose wisely.
But money problems are the exception. Especially when YOUR money is in the situation.
Since you are working for your money and handing it over to him, you have every right in the world to know exactly what is going on with the money in the house. If he is deceptive with you about something as important as money..
I would make a stand on this right away. Sit him down at the kitchen table and firmly but nicely demand to know how the money situation stands. And if you feel that he is not handling it right, make suggestions. Including keeping your money to yourself and paying a few bills on your own (like the electric or phone bill). Put them in your name and then pay them yourself. However much your paycheck can cover. And make SURE you are saving. If you have kids and no savings account, you are begging for trouble. Please take a stand on this now before he comes home in a Corvette that you can't afford. Good luck.
2006-10-07 18:53:29 · answer #1 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Money, Sex and kids. These are the 3 issues that most couples fight about. If he is a mechanic by trade and uses these tools to make money...don't say a word. If he uses these tool to fix things around the house...don't say a word. If he uses the tools for hobbies that keeps him at home and out of the streets and bars...don't say a word. If he is a good husband and all the bills are paid on time every month...don't say a word.
Consider yourself lucky! There are a lot of BIG problems out there! Take care...it will be OK!
2006-10-07 18:51:57 · answer #2 · answered by GiGi 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should start handling the finances in the household. If you are the more level headed one when it comes to money, then explain to him what your expectations are. I would be frustrated too if someone was taking the money I earned for bills and used it on things that were frivolous. You haven't said what he is using these tools for. Does he need them for work?? If so, then maybe you can help him budget out how often he can afford them. Good luck!
2006-10-07 18:49:44 · answer #3 · answered by swtz69drmz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't have the money for it, explain this to him. Maybe he isn't aware of it. Maybe he has an obsession with it. If he won't respond to you talking about it with him then just take control over the money and only give him what he needs and nothing extra. Then he won't be able to blow it on tools. If none of that works try and find the receipts for them and return them :)
2006-10-07 18:47:38 · answer #4 · answered by lparker_2005 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should ask him why he needs it. Maybe he has a good explaination. Once he tells you why he needs it, then you should tell him why you guys can't afford it.
Basically, you two need to collaborate on a common solution and agree with each other on the solution. It is trust that each of you will not break. If there is no trust, then there is no you and him and you might as well give up and move on.
For more info on collaboration, see:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Collaboration
"Collaboration (co+labor+ation) refers abstractly to all processes wherein people work together"
2006-10-07 18:57:26 · answer #5 · answered by TheKid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your pretty strong or envy to give up your wholecheck to him he maybe spending it on strippers I really wouldn't give him that much control. You worked for it. Does he have a job himself? That's wrong to do his own wife that way. I wouldn't care if I was paying bills or not theirs got to be another way for him to ask for money for bills not to take your wholecheck.You worked for that money and it's like working for nothing if you hand it all over to him. He maybe your
husband but he doesn't control your happiness after working so
hard. Ask him for his paycheck. Good luck! He maybe a loser!!!!!!!!!!!! And you don't know it or what he's really doing.??????????
2006-10-07 18:59:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think the issue is that your husband buys things as much as it is an issue of secrecy. He could be afraid to tell you because of your past reactions about it. He could be trying to avoid a fight. Maybe he has a shopping problem. Does he have a job?
2006-10-07 18:58:36 · answer #7 · answered by angeleyes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should confront him about this situation before things get out of hand. you should not feel guilty for being upset. he should tell that he is buying these tools and he should give you a reason for these expenses too, expecially if you are having money problems. there is absolutely no reason for him to keep you out of the loop. this could in the future lead to bigger and worse money issues you should confront him about this now before it gets out of hand.
2006-10-07 18:51:26 · answer #8 · answered by Tyler B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
make him realize what he is doing.. it up to you, you can convince him not to spend money in tat manner.. Good luck
2006-10-07 18:50:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him not to buy anymore
2006-10-07 18:46:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋