How can I get my pregnant girlfriend to stop smoking?

Question

I have gotten into many arguments with her about it to the point where we are about to breakup or get into a physical fight, I refuse to buy cigarettes for her, and I smoke but i don't ever give her any of mine or smoke around her, her parents say nothing to her when she smokes around them and she keeps trying to tell me shes gonna quit in another week, that was 3 months ago, she is now 6 months pregnant, how can i solve this without putting my hands on her because i don't want to hurt the baby anymore than she already is

She was another son and she didn't smoke when she was pregnant with him which makes me even more frustrated

I just don't want anything to happen to my child and if the baby is stillborn i will heart broken for years to come..

she went to the hospital today and saw some children that suffered from smoking, her first son is also premature.. this is really stressful because i see it happening to my child

Answer 1

i agree with the majority, you have no business raining down on her if you are still smoking too. i definately don't think she should be smoking anyhow while pregnant, but that totally makes you a hypocrite preaching while you still take puffs whenever you want.

quit with her, show her you will to go through it with her and be her strength. seeing you do it too might just get throught to her how important it is to you, that you too are willing to sacrifice for the sake of that precious baby.

as someone else said as well, second-hand is not any better than smoking itself. you should be working on it anyway now so you won't have to overcome it when the baby is born. god forbid if the baby does have a health problem and is incubized, what good will you be doing it if when you finally do get to hold it, it breathes in smoke from your hair and clothes.

i wish you both the best, on congrats on your new little one to be!

Answer 2

If you smoke- that is the first step.You need to stop as well.. However- I am 8 months pregnant and still smoke..Though I have went from a pack a day to like 5. Smoking does not mean an unhealthy baby..It "can" cause a low birth weight..My son weighs over what he should at this point and I have smoked the duration of my pregnancy. Also- you might want to consider just having her cut back..If she is early in pregnancy quitting cold turkey could cause the baby distress and therefore lead to a miscarriage..(That is from my Dr's mouth) Good luck to you and your gf though!

Answer 3

This is something that is out of your control, Its a real shame because its your baby to but she needs to stop for her and the baby, I have a niece that was born perfectly even though her mother was a chain smoker. Tell her if she doesn't stop to at leased slow down to a few smokes a day. Don't hit her, not because of the baby but because its not the answer. If your baby is born with any withdrawals or anything she will have to deal with it also. I understand the heartache your going through, however maybe you need to make an ultimatum like both quite together or both slow down as your smoking even not around her will affect the baby once the baby is born, and smoking is a dirty habit that you can both live without.

Answer 4

I would check with an MD before suggesting this but I smoked for 30 years and quit two and a half years ago using nicotine gum. It is something I used every time I wanted a cigarette. I don't know if the nicotine will affect the baby but I do know the smoke is no good.
And quitting now is going to be a lot easier than after the baby is born. Smoking around a child is like putting the cigarette right in the kids mouth.
And if you are really serious about wanting her to quite you have to quit yourself to show her it can be done. This is one time you have to be strong as the father.
Good luck.

Answer 5

She will quit when she is ready. It really is not fair for you to ask her to do something that you are not willing to do. I smoked through three perfectly normal pregnancies (2 packs a day through one of the larger pregnancies. child was 8lbs 4oz)and now have 4 perfectly normal children. The child that had the benefit of me not smoking during the pregnancy is not better in any way than any of the other kids. He's not bigger, or smarter, or healthier. Now, the pregnancy that I endured the most stress during was my smallest baby and she came early. Now, learning these things from my pregnancies I would say, stop stressing her out or you will end up with an early, smaller baby than you might otherwise have gotten. If you truly want her to quit try suggesting that you quit together and stick to it. I think her parents have the right of it. She is an adult to do as she sees fit with her body. Yes she has a responsibility to see that her child is cared for properly, but she also has to balance her own needs with the needs of the child. If the smoking helps her to deal with the stress and you're not willing to quit together, shut up about it and just make sure she gets those prenatal vitamins into her. It could be alot worse. She could need crack or heroin to make her feel better. I would recommend maybe one more discussion on it and then drop it forever, or until you're both ready to quit. You can do severe damage to the relationship that may never be repaired. Women during pregnancy can be very irrational and pointing that out can be very detrimental to your health. At this point in the pregnancy you should be trying to create as much love and good cheer as you can while she is getting more miserable and wishing she could rip off certain parts of you that got her here to begin with. Rationality usually resumes around 4-8 weeks postpartum. Good Luck :)

Answer 6

she will be heart broken as well. Have you sat her down and explained your fears, told her how you're feeling etc? maybe you ought to offer to quit smoking with her, so it's a joint effort, as smoking while in the womb is just as bad as second hand smoke out side of it (i'm a smoker too, so i'm not preaching) but she might be feeling jealous as you can still smoke, you can run you can do whatever you want while she has to change her lifestyle, play it safe, eat the right things, and quitting smoking is just hard for her, maybe if you show a little effort too, it will give her strength, also you might want to suggest she ask her doctor if theres something she can be perscribed to curb cravings etc. :) good luck to you her and your unborn infant.

Answer 7

First and foremost, hitting girls is a for losers. Also if you want her to quit smoking, you set the example and quit smoking first. Also I would have her talk to a Dr. about the dangers of smoking when she is pregnant or find some brochures regarding it (I am sure your local hospital will have something.

Answer 8

Tell her that if she stops smoking, YOU'LL stop smoking, too.
Maybe that will give her more incentive, the fact that you're willing to do it also, and not just telling her she has to.

Answer 9

Tell her you want to take her to the hospital nursery to look at the babies. She will probably want to go. When u get to the nursery look at the preemies in the incubators. That is what normally happens. Babies born to smokers are more often premature and have lung development problems. They are also more prone to SID sudden infant death. Look closely at the preemies with the tubes and remember you can not hold your baby when this happens. It is a very sad because it is a choice to quit! The baby has no choice! Best wishes.

Answer 10

thats just mean smoking but she can't smoke and no it won't hurt the baby dumb asse. gosh stop worrieing. and if she quits you would have to to because it will make her crave it. soo just let her be. my mom smoked when she was prego but i am perfectly fine. so calm down and let her be and it also gets stress of your shoulders and she is prego and that probly helps her calm down. and about the fighting problem i have nothing to say about you dumb asse you hurt her when she is going to have a living child. gosh are you dumb. just walk away if she hits you. don't hurt her you are stupid.!.!.