Can a woman ever trust a man after ex molested her dtr?

Question

my soon to be ex molested my dtr, his step, how could i ever trust another man around any of my kids? I have known my ex for 18 years, together 9. thought i knew him. can i trust again?

Answer 1

not ex!

Answer 2

First of all, let me thank you by leaving him, you have done the best thing for your daughter. It's unfortunate that she had to experience something like that, firstly I would look into getting councelling for your daughter, press charges against your ex. Just take some time out in general. When the right person comes along, he will be worthy of your trust.
It is going to be a hard thing for the two of you to move on from. At no point am I ever going to say that you should forget what happened, but your lives do go on.
When I was a child I was raped, it was the hardest thing to move on from, but I have managed to do it. I now have a child of my own and getting married soon. It took me ten years to find someone that I could trust again. But it did happen.

Answer 3

I hate to hear of things like this..It just kills me inside. Some people in the world today are absolutely disgusting.

The real question here is, "How is your daughter ever going to trust a man." I think what you should do is forget about relationships with guys at the moment and focus on your daughters well being. It is hard to get over these types of things. The real truth is you can never really know 100% you may think you know, but you don't. You can't judge all men on the actions of one individual though...I would take it real slow from hear on out....and always put your children first..

On a side note I hope you pressed charges and that piece of sh*t gets whats coming to him in jail, there may be bad people in jail but they don't take kindly to child molesters.

Answer 4

Yes i do believe you can trust again and my personal opinion is that you should trust again. You must remember that everyone is not the same. I am sorry to hear what happened to your daughter, but remember that everything in life is a lesson. This was a hard lesson you had to learn - but you should know now - what to look out for and have a closer bond with your child to teach her to be a stronger person to try and prevent this from happening again. I would not put my life on pause because this only shows that he got the best of you and your child. You must move forward and learn to forgive, but never forget. If you continue to carry this hurtful event with you for the rest of your life you may close yourself off from positive people in your life and the true enjoyment of life. I would suggest that you and your child seek professional help ( a group or therapist) to help you through this.

No matter what lenghth of time you think you know someone- never let down your guard and zoning in on what your instincts and gut feelings are telling you. There are things to this day that I learn and discover about my own self. Sometimes we do things out of habit without really knowing why we do them- somethings are learned from childhood which we think are "right" choices but as we develop as a person we figure out that those choices are really not ours- their choices our parents made so we follow by habbit. What I am getting at is that we all have self learning to do- so there is no way you can truly say that you "know" someone else.


I would say this- try not to make your children a part of your relationship with anyone until you feel safe with the situation. take things nice and slow in that department- don't really make it seem like your hiding your child, but do it on a slow introduction. Set up boundaries and make sure your new partner knows and sees these invisable lines- you don't have to say it in words- it works better by your actions

well, good luck to you and your child- I hope all works out for the best for the both of you- but again- don't stop living and enjoying the company of a man because of this- they all are not the same.

Answer 5

I would not fully trust no one with my Girl aways have an open eye and ears and listen to your gut.Talk to your dtr and assure her that she can come to you for anything and you would be there for her..I hope you pressed charges on your ex and exposed him .. I hope you and your dtr are getting some help with this issue.I have never been in your shoes and hope never to be because I will be on a bus to prison if that was to happen .Good luck and God Bless you and your dtr..

Answer 6

One of the keys to your question is arming yourself with knowledge about child sexual predator behaviors. Knowledge is power. Counties often have a Sexual Assault center that can assist you with information about the behaviors of this type of individual. Local libraries have many books about this as well. Through learning about these predators you'll be able to look for 'red flags' that may be an indicator of their intent. And there are many. Some often ingratiate themselves with you, knowing you have a young and vulnerable female child that can become their victim.

While you didn't indicate the age of your child and how long ago this happened, there are many issues that will have to be dealt with regarding her well being. Considering bringing another man into her life right now (i.e. dating) could be detrimental. You were betrayed and your daughter was violated. She needs to feel safe and protected. Please consider learning all that you possibly can so that you will be able to help your daughter help herself. She is the one who will need to learn to trust again.

Answer 7

You can't judge all men by the pigs in society, just as men shouldn't judge all women by the same standard. We have to be careful who we have around our kids, and often times these freaks blend in with everyone else. Just don't turn your back on a new boyfriend. You could let your strong feelings about child abuse be known, to all friends who come in to contact with your children. They will see that you wont miss the signs of abuse, and will strike down hard on anyone who even tries to hurt a child.

Answer 8

Don't punish others because of this slimeball. Surely you can go back and see some warning signs that for whatever reason you didn't catch here. Now you have a better idea what to look for.

Answer 9

thats a tuff one girl, hopefully you have that guy in prision, if some one did that to my girl id be in prision for murder, take things slow not every guy is a moster, when you find your next man let him know next time the dude will die, if he is bad he will dissapear, and buy a gun with hollow point bullets, good luck

Answer 10

Can a man ever trust the police after they prove themselves time and time again to be ineffective?

No.

Answer 11

I don't think it's a question of trusting men, I think it's more a question of trusting your own choice in men. Can you trust yourself to know better?