Here's the situation:
My fiance's two sister's ( 21 and 15) are staying with us. For some reason I am bothered by them being here. My fiance says he is tierd of hearing me gripe about wanting them to leave. I feel like it's my house and I should have a say in the matter. All this going on is making my SO anxious EVERY SINGLE DAY.. It's like a never ending feeling. I wish I could just kill myself sometimes. It's getting to the point that I am thinking about leaving. Why is it so wrong that I don't want them here??? He dosen't understand that I don't want them here just because I want it just to be me and him here. If it gets to it, should I leave?
2006-10-07 18:17:17 · 8 answers · asked by bookworm1885 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
we are all living together because their mom is driving a truck and dosen't have an apartment and "they like it here."
2006-10-07 18:22:56 · update #1
The one that's 21 dosen't have a car or job so she can't get her own place.
2006-10-07 18:23:35 · update #2
I have already sat him down many times and told him I DON'T WANT THEM HERE. He said he feels pressured by me, but he dosen't care if they stay here. He said he could tell them that I don't want them there but then they would dislike me.
2006-10-07 18:25:23 · update #3
no they decided to come here after we were engaged. It isn't temporary, his mom said she wanted the 15 yr old to finish school while she's here.
2006-10-07 18:31:40 · update #4
Jenna, you couldn't have put it better! That's how I feel, it's her kids, they should stay with her not us! Why does my fiance not understand why it bothers me?
2006-10-07 18:46:21 · update #5
lori,
It's nesting ... you have a nest ... you decorated it ... and now they show up and invade you private space with your man....
A visit is a week ... longer and you got room mates.....
Talk to him about the extended stay and when can your brothers move in ....!! Get the idea!
2006-10-07 18:24:41 · answer #1 · answered by John 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with how you are feeling. It is totally understandable. The two of you are still trying to get to know eachother, no matter how long you have known eachother. Not to mention, if the 21 year old is living there, she should atleast get a job and help out with the bills. That is just plain rude. It sounds like your fiance is just trying to take advantage of you and seeing how far he can push you. if you let him have all the say now, how do you think your marriage will be 5 or 10 years from now. If he doesnt have the curtousy to listen you to and respect your feelings then he is not worth marrying and maybe later on divorcing.
2006-10-08 01:50:23 · answer #2 · answered by angelic1_17 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That doesn't sound like a good reason to kill yourself...
Maybe you should try getting hundreds of scars, bruises, cut out or damaged body parts, and a couple of damaged limbs by getting beat to a pulp with a mace (thats why I am known by Mace to several people...). Then try getting told that your life's dream was impossible to come true, then try to have your parents divorced, remarried with other people (one step parent being mean). And after that get the nice step parent to divorce. Then try to get called lazy by your only step parent, told that you are not humorous at all by your step sister, get bullied by your step brothers, then almost get killed by the rest of your siblings. Then have a dead husband/wife. Now lets see how life is put in perspective now. It must really suck for other people? Do not kill yourself, you actually have something to live for. A fiance that doesn't die of a heart attack after a couple of weeks. Just remember that there is always an unhappier person. The only time that you should ever think about killing yourself is after you have gone through all the above.
And some advice about your fiance's sisters...Try spending more time with your fiance when they are not around. Also try to talk to your fiance's sisters when your fiance is not around. They will both be happy, you will have a better social life, and you have the time with your fiance to do whatever you want to in bed that is wild and lovely...(You get to hold the remote to the TV)...
2006-10-10 19:17:32 · answer #3 · answered by Mace 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are they there? At the very least, the 21 year old is an adult and can/should move. Where are the parents?
You might want to put the wedding on hold until he gets his life under control.
I can't say whether you're wrong without knowing why they are all living together.
2006-10-08 01:21:03 · answer #4 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, it sounds like there is more going on then just your future sister in laws living with you is bothering you. Feeling like you want to kill yourself over this isn't normal. Maybe you need to talk to someone about that.
It almost sounds like you have already made up your mind to leave, you just want someone to say it is ok. If you are having doubts about marriage, then speak up and discuss it.
What is so bad about the sisters staying temporarily? They are family and you are supposed to help family.
2006-10-08 01:22:26 · answer #5 · answered by Sprite 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you've already talked to him about this situation and he isn't listening, and you're obviously upset with the whole thing because you're threatening to kill yourself, I would suggest just leaving....It doesn't sound like a good start to a good marriage if his 2 sisters are living "off" of you because "they like it there." They have a mother, they should be living with HER,NOT YOU....RUN!!!!!!!
2006-10-08 01:29:31 · answer #6 · answered by Jenna 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask them to leave now. If your fiance doesn't back you up, call off the wedding and dump him.
2006-10-08 07:24:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should never think about killing yourself. I am pretty sure if you sit him down and let him know what is going on then he should do something about it. If not then you do something about it.
2006-10-08 01:22:15 · answer #8 · answered by Dr. Dg 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋